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    Check out my headboy speech (on wednesday)

    I have to do a headboy speech at school as its my final year coming up. Do you think that i should add bits of humor into it? dont want to seem to make the speech too much of a joke as i dont want my application to be denied for sounded too much like a joke and not being serious enough.

    Why me? Well I would like an awesome year 13, a year 13 that would be based around your ideas and your input. If I were elected for headboy, I would make this year, the last year for us being at Oxted School a good one and one to remember.
    I will use your ideas to make this sixthform a better one. The sixthform system is changing, next year there will be a new team on the sixthform council, which means we can have your hands and input in making this environment as good as it possibly can be.
    Socials of course should play a large part in the sixthform life. Myself, the head girl and the deputies will organise socials that you want, based around your ideas. When it comes to organizing socials, I think I would do a good job, After all if I can organise a year 8 tutor group every Thursday, I should be able to organise anything!
    I want to work with the headgirl and the deputies to organise socials that you can look forward to and you can enjoy. I donít know about you, but I feel I havenít been asked enough this year, about what I think, what kind of socials you want and what you would change.
    The way to make things possible is to speak out and make it happen -And as headboy I would try my best to listen to you, take on board what you are saying and make change happen. I believe I can be a good headboy, an organised headboy that can listen and make actions. I have a reputation for getting things done, speaking out and making a difference. Changes I would like to do next year would be better catering facilities in the common room, cleaner toilets and a wider choice of sporting activities at lunch times.
    The list is endless, if you want change you will have to stand up and make it happen.
    I would be a headboy that pushes for a better system, that pushes for what you want, and ultimately for improvement. By voting for me, you will be voting for organisation, voting for enthusiasm and commitment, and above all else, voting for a much better year 13.
    Ive posted this on a fitness forum aswell and someone replied with this.
    Majorly bland. Sounds like you've listened to a few Gordon Brown speeches and tried to mimic political style, especially with the opener setting the tone:

    Why me? Well I would like an awesome year 13, a year 13 that would be based around your ideas and your input.

    Personally I'd go for something punchy, driven and focused instead of something vague that isn't going anywhere fast:

    I want to work with the headgirl and the deputies to organise socials that you can look forward to and you can enjoy.


    And if you don't know about your classmates, how can you be headboy for them:

    I donít know about you, but I feel I havenít been asked enough this year, about what I think,

    ^^ Too many 'I's - makes you sound self-centred. Try something like - 'After doing the rounds with the years below and above me, we've got some cracking ideas about how to make our last years at the school worth remembering.'

    Cut the bullshit out too:

    I would be a headboy that pushes for a better system, that pushes for what you want, and ultimately for improvement. By voting for me, you will be voting for organisation, voting for enthusiasm and commitment, and above all else, voting for a much better year 13.

    A better system? Honestly? No-one's going to believe that a headboy is going to change an established school system, nor will they really give a toss. All your doing here is massaging your balls as you engage in politicking. If there's a Specific issue in your school, maybe something contentious - have a pop at it, head on. Let them know you're aware of it, and you've Actually done something pre-appointment as it were to find a solution.


    Be specific, I'll not go on 'cos it's not fair to rip on a teenager's speech. But you sound like a clever lad, you can do a lot better than this. Be yourself - more energy, less waffle mate.
    I think he has made some good points. What else would you change if you had to do it?

    Will appreciate ANY help whatsoever! thanks again



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    Update:
    You can do a better job than I could. You know your school, your teachers, and the humour that they'd appreciate. Just be specific, name drop, add humour.

    If it were me, I'd probably pre-empt the other candidates especially when it comes to making promises they can't deliver. Here's some concepts that usually work well. Tailor them to your school / own speaking style / audience or what have you..


    Showing humility...
    "The best thing about writing this speech was getting to find out how much waffle I could write down in 2 minutes. I found out that I could write out a long detailed exposition of ....absolutely no relevance whatsoever. I could however imitate political style and even make myself sound clever - but really, and I hope you all keep this in mind as you listen to all our speeches today, 'what use is style, without substance?'."

    Showing realistic values and maturity..
    "After some soul searching, I realised that being headboy wasn't about being better than anyone else. Being head boy is about trust. Having the trust of the school body and pupils to represent them whenever called upon. Being head boy is about being fair to my fellow pupils, and not taking advantage of my position. We have a great school, full of the most able pupils - but even the best of us have been known to get into mischief, and when we do, the head boy is there to nudge you back in the right direction. A worthy head boy is caring, not chastising while ensuring the integrity of our school is always maintained."


    Pre-empting other candidates..
    "Right, so I have one year. I could promise you the world, many candidates would happily do that barefaced - but you're too smart for that. I'll just tell you exactly what I intend to focus on in terms of organisation.."


    Wit is the best tool in the box though, use in-jokes relevant to your school. Name drop teachers in a light hearted way to show awareness, but stay formal. 2 minutes means you can only choose a few good techniques and focus on them - wouldn't try and do it all..

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    Try this for a bit of humor and as a dig at your opponents:

    (Somewhere early in your speech)
    "Of course, there might be more qualified headboy candidates at our school... and I'm glad none of them are running"

    (middle of the speech)
    "Let's be serious for a moment. We're close to graduation. The economic forecast is bleak. Jobs are scarce. And with the unprecedented snowfall we've seen in the past month, it's safe to say things are in flux. Regardless of what each of us does after graduation, let's promise to make our votes count in the real world, shall we? (pause, wait for applause) Now back to my favorite subject...me"



    (Towards the end)
    "So don't vote for me merely on my superior looks and charming demeanor, although you might be tempted to do that. Vote for me because you have excellent taste and superb decision making skills"



    Rent the movie "Election" with Reese Witherspoon and Matthew Broderick when you get a chance. You'll empathize with the characters.

    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTi2G4AzfVs]YouTube - Tammy Metzler's Speech[/ame]
    ďOn the Road of Life, There's Always Another BusĒ

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigDuke6 View Post
    Try this for a bit of humor and as a dig at your opponents:

    (Somewhere early in your speech)
    "Of course, there might be more qualified headboy candidates at our school... and I'm glad none of them are running"

    (middle of the speech)
    "Let's be serious for a moment. We're close to graduation. The economic forecast is bleak. Jobs are scarce. And with the unprecedented snowfall we've seen in the past month, it's safe to say things are in flux. Regardless of what each of us does after graduation, let's promise to make our votes count in the real world, shall we? (pause, wait for applause) Now back to my favorite subject...me"



    (Towards the end)
    "So don't vote for me merely on my superior looks and charming demeanor, although you might be tempted to do that. Vote for me because you have excellent taste and superb decision making skills"



    Rent the movie "Election" with Reese Witherspoon and Matthew Broderick when you get a chance. You'll empathize with the characters.

    YouTube - Tammy Metzler's Speech
    Haha thats excellent. I like them a lot but i dont want to appear too arrogant so only decided to use the last one. The first one is good and i would happily use that out in the field when gaming girls. However, i dont think it will be appropriate to use that in a headboy speech. Its like saying that the others are crap and there is no competition and that i am certain to get it. I dont want to appear like that.

    The middle one would be good in the field too. I didnt use it here because my speech has already been cut down to around 250 words (its meant to be 30secs now and not 2 mins).

    Last one is my finishing off line. Ive got a group of girls and guys dotted around that are going to instantly start laughing and then clapping. I would be happier knowing that people are going to laugh because if they dont laugh or werent listening i am going to come off as extremely arrogant to the teachers and listeners.

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    Cool, man. Good luck.
    ďOn the Road of Life, There's Always Another BusĒ

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