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Discuss How to get my gf more confidence at the Off-Topic within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; How to get my gf more confidence I think my gf is an 8, but ...
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    How to get my gf more confidence

    I think my gf is an 8, but her confidence level is one of that of an HB6. It's very disheartening at times. Like is negging is just out of the question, and sometimes even she takes a compliment I give her and twists it around into a diss lol. I think now it's okay to compliment her on her looks because for someone reason she doesn't think she's cute. Sometimes I just wish she had more confidence. Any ideas?



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    Swifty is offline Certified Live Training Graduate Lounge Member
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    never compliment a girl without a reason to. Just give yourself reasons to compliment her.

    tell her how to dress then say it's cute. make her clean your room and say she is an awesome gf and a turn on.

    otherwise you come off extremely weak like you're playing into her.

    think about it, it works just the same and you stay calibrated.
    I am 100% uncool, and am not to be used to alter your faith. Behold the one who is EVIL, me.
    Predictably, you still love me, shame on you. fuck that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Radiating View Post
    never compliment a girl without a reason to. Just give yourself reasons to compliment her.

    tell her how to dress then say it's cute. make her clean your room and say she is an awesome gf and a turn on.

    otherwise you come off extremely weak like you're playing into her.

    think about it, it works just the same and you stay calibrated.
    The man's right.

    Compliments only work when you truly earn them. I get it quite often that girls, especially the ones I don't like, will hurl compliments at me, hoping that I'll just go 'thanks, wanna go out?' It doesn't work like that.

    Get her to enter your frame and then compliment her. Or if there's something she clearly puts a lot of effort into, compliment her on that. I'd keep it at a low though. You compliment rarely and when in a good mood. I had a friend who only praised people when he was upset. In the end, I preferred him a lot more when he was down-trodden. Not good.

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    Don't compliment her looks. Compliment an accomplishment.
    “On the Road of Life, There's Always Another Bus”

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    Verbal affirmation goes a long way... Telling her she's beautiful... Pointing out guys checking her out when you're out walking... Taking tons of pictures and letting her know people complimenting them on at work/wherever you had them displayed... Put captions like "Gorgeous!" underneath her photos (if you have an online album)... address her with pet names like beautiful, gorgeous, cutie, etc.

    For other areas of confidence, just be encouraging & reaffirming, telling her she can do it (whatever it is), that it's 90% mental... the more she gets in & does stuff (whatever the areas of self-doubt she has), the more she'll gain confidence... things like running a marathon or getting involved in toastmasters or drama... those all develop confidence... ballroom dancing even... do activities that you can together that also builds greater confidence...

    Also have her teach you something... Think of something she's good at that you really suck at, and have her teach you... or do an activity where she's better at you and she can see you failing miserably but having a good time & laughing through it (like for me, that's bowling, I suck at it, but if my guy friends need a confidence boost, that's the first thing I'll think of because they're all awesome and it makes them feel better about themselves to be better at something...)...

    Point out her hidden talents or things that make her special... praise those things... highlight them...

    There's lots of ways to boost someone's confidence... usually verbal affirmation is a big part of it...

    I am not advocating always hand-holding or coddling, but a little can go a long way, especially if she's never had anyone in her life to do that for her... she might just need a little nudging.

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    Dude, keep her confidence low. It'll be better this way, haha. Unless you want to marry her... I guess..

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    In PUA we are taught to be a leader

    You may on occasion challenge her to lead and choose something to do that evening to increase her confidence but frame it properly like "You could chip in and do some of the work here, arrange something special for us and call me back" But use this sparingly.

    Also, listen to their stuff and echo it back to them that day or a bit in future.

    They will appreciate you remembering things and feel you are enjoying their time. Look for hints about what they want to do, their favorite things, then surprise her by recalling it and tell her that you worked hard to find it out as well as remember it.

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    During my nice guy days, I found that underpinning women's shaky confidence with constant reassuring to be exhausting.

    If the shoe was on the other foot, she would have blown you out as a loser a long time ago...
    Je fais du progrès.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol_Invictus View Post
    During my nice guy days, I found that underpinning women's shaky confidence with constant reassuring to be exhausting.

    If the shoe was on the other foot, she would have blown you out as a loser a long time ago...
    Haha, exactly.

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