Why (Most) Women Give Bad Dating Advice
Discuss Why (Most) Women Give Bad Dating Advice at the Nick Savoy within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Why (Most) Women Give Bad Dating Advice It just doesn’t make sense. Common sense would ...
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- 11-09-2010, 10:37 AM #1
It just doesn’t make sense. Common sense would say that women should be able to give good advice on getting beautiful women interested in you.
Why (Most) Women Give Bad Dating Advice
But they don’t.
(OK, I’m sure some do. Love Systems Bootcamps occasionally use female instructors or assistants, but these are women who are trained in powerful Love Systems techniques. They’re not random girls who think they know what to do just because they are women.)
Now, it’s not a conspiracy. 3 billion women aren’t plotting together to give you bad advice, even if it might sometimes feel that way.
And actually, the dating advice most women give isn’t bad. It’s just…misplaced.
Typical Female Dating Advice
Take some typical comments women make:
“Just be yourself”
“Be respectful of her boundaries”
“Be a gentleman”
“Take her to dinner and somewhere romantic”
These all make sense. IF SHE IS ALREADY ATTRACTED TO YOU. Think of the last time a girl was head-over-heels into you. Or one of your female friends obsessed with some guy. She would have loved it if he did any of those things, or sent her flowers “just because”.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that your #1 dating problem is not: “This girl is really into me and I like her too, so what do I do?”
If that were the case, a Love Systems bootcamp, where guys come to learn and practice the secrets of picking up beautiful and then actually do so at the nightclubs we go to, would take about 10 minutes, instead of 25-30 hours.
But there’s more to it than this.
People put themselves into situations when they are asked for advice. And people have an idea (often from movies and TV) about how dating and attraction should work. That gets in the way of a clear understanding of how things really work.
Copernicus and Gallileo would not have had a hard time convincing people that the Earth went around the Sun instead of vice versa – if it hadn’t been for the fact that for many hundreds of years, people were told to believe the opposite.
And this isn’t the only reason. Women don’t think about the guy they have no interest in coming up and seducing them. That’s one reason why women give arbitrary reasons to explain why they hook up with someone, or just say “it just happened” which means they don’t want to think or talk about it. If she doesn’t think of herself as an elite, beautiful, model-quality woman, she probably doesn’t think you “should” be dating such women. You’ll get a talk about meeting a nice girl through friends instead. If she enjoys your attention (e.g., if you’ve been interested in her in the past), she doesn’t have much reason to help transfer this attention to other women in a way that it would be successful.
And so on…
“But it’s not fair…”
The difference between how the world “should” be and how it actually is doesn’t just apply to women and dating. Every week on The Attraction Forums (the largest and by far the best dating advice forum for men), there’s some guy saying it’s not fair that men have to make the first move, that women “should” want the sweet guy who maybe doesn’t have much game, or that dating “should” be easier.
Dating and picking up beautiful women does not happen like in the movies. We’ve had a number of Hollywood screenwriters as clients on bootcamps or private training and they usually have no idea how to pick up beautiful women in the real world.
Put another way, I’d love to live in a world without car crashes. I could watch TV while driving. That’s maybe how things “should” be. But living in that imagery world would make me…dead.
You won’t die because you live in an imaginary world about dating and picking up beautiful women. You’ll just be alone.
But there is a choice. You can drop old and useless beliefs. You can adopt the idea that the world may not be perfect, but it’s where you live, so you may as well figure out how to navigate through it and meet your goals.
That’s part of the reason the Magic Bullets Handbook, is so controversial and why some female commentators hate it. It turns conventional wisdom on its ear. It’s morally neutral. It doesn’t care whether you want her for a one night stand or marriage. It just tells you how to make her want you.
Six Truths About Attraction Most Women Don’t Know*
*(or won’t tell you)
1 – Most beautiful women are sleeping with someone. Most also have men who they aren’t sleeping with, who take them on romantic dates. The guy she’s sleeping with, even if (especially if) she calls him an asshole or says she would never date him – he has a 100% better chance of making her his girlfriend than any of the random guys “Dating and Waiting”. You’ll have plenty of time for romantic dinners when she’s your long-term girlfriend.
2 – Most women like a man who can seduce. Who can lead her to bed smoothly and not awkwardly. Who can let her give token resistance (e.g., “I’m not going to go home with you”) and confidently make it happen anyway. No always means no, but men who know Love Systems are good at turning a no into a yes. Which is entirely an emotional process – change her mood, not her mind.
3 – Any emotion is better than no emotion. You have a much better chance of dating or sleeping with a woman who currently hates you than one is indifferent to you. Nice guys leave most women indifferent.
4 – Just because she has a boyfriend doesn’t mean she’s not looking to trade up. You
can make whatever ethical decisions you like, but don’t give yourself an excuse that she is “unavailable” because she has a boyfriend. (Longer blog post here)
5 – Attraction is transferrable. No woman in the world will agree with this unless you show it to her when it’s happening. So go try it for yourself. Go to a bar and get a girl super-attracted and into you and then disappear for half an hour. She’ll be all over someone else. This is one reason why it’s important to know how to deal with other men and obstacles – you don’t want them taking advantage of all of your hard work. (Or maybe, just maybe, you want to take advantage of theirs.
6 – Women’s sexual decision-making process is extremely arbitrary. A woman may say she’d never go home with a guy with a bar and that she never has (except for a couple of time that “don’t count”) and that may be an honest expression of her feelings at that time….but a few seconds after you get her phone number and convince yourself you’ve done the best you can, another guy can be leading her home. Ask a woman what kind of men she likes or what she’s looking for, and I’m sure you’ll get a list. That list will usually be things she thinks she should be attracted to – nice dresser, good sense of humor, good values, and so on. Some of it is even true. But that list will have NOTHING to do with who she feels attracted to on Saturday night.
There’s so much more I could say here – a lot of this is covered in the Relationship Management DVD Home Study Course –how to make her your girlfriend, how to date multiple women without lying, how to get and manage friends with benefits, how to know when she’s about to cheat, and much more. It’s hours of material with some of our best insights into Female Psychology.
Last word on the subject – to be a good doctor, you’d learn from other doctors, not their patients. To be a good guitarist, you’d study a musician, not a concert audience. And to become great with women, look at other guys like you who are great with women.
Love Systems President, Program Leader
1 - Read the Magic Bullets Handbook - it's the bible of the Love Systems community, answers 90% of the questions here, and saves you years of time re-inventing the wheel.
2 - Follow me on The Real Savoy Blog, or my twitter account. And friend me on Facebook for exclusive dating advice I don't post anywhere else.
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