Transitioning from Direct Openers
Discuss Transitioning from Direct Openers at the Nick Hoss within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Transitioning from Direct Openers How To Transition From a Direct Opener by Nick Hoss Transitioning ...
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- 12-05-2011, 12:54 PM #1
Transitioning from Direct Openers
Transitioning after a direct opener, day game or night game, is easy. Most guys just make it into a bigger deal than it needs to be.
To start: In the systematic sense, think of all openers as an excuse to start a conversation. As long as you get a response, you're opener has succeeded to some degree because you've received some feedback. This response gives you something to work with, be it in trigger words, a chance to tease, role play, etc. It's when the girl ignores you or back turns that you receive nothing.
Whether you use a direct opener or not, you want that feedback. The only purpose of an opener is to open, not build attraction. Attraction is a bonus if you get it.
The funny part: The content of her feedback doesn't really matter. The old style opinion openers worked on a basis of contingency. She says X, you say Y. She says XX, you say Z.
On the other hand, the "Those heels are fuckin' sexy. All of the guys* in this room are looking at you in them... I had to meet you. I'm Nick," kind of direct opener usually gets you a thank you or grin from her to her friends. Sometimes, usually with girls who aren't used to such compliments, they'll jump in your lap and throw a compliment back, ask a question or do something else to gain rapport. However, the hottest girls don't give you much. Although it takes a lot of balls to approach, any guy can give her a compliment. She wants you to follow it up. So, you transition, just like indirect.
(*Side tip: Notice how I frame myself as the only guy with enough balls to approach. Therefore, I must be the most confident in the room, right?)
Don't freak out: Guys usually slip up here for two reasons. They either don't have something to follow up with and retreat into their heads, or they expect the girl to jump into their lap, feeling like the opener didn't work if the girl isn't melting in front of them. Do not expect her to carry the conversation!
I became addicted to direct opening when I finally got the balls to do it. I was so nervous that my subcommunications were very genuine. I wasn't really opening the hottest girls, so I got great reactions from the average girls I'd open. After a while, my nerves settled and my subcommunications turned very mechanical. I didn't get the gushing reactions from girls and I froze up a lot. I realized it's not in the opener, but in the second thing you say, the transition. In time, everything came full circle.
I'm a good storyteller, so I usually launch into a story and use a 'no transition'. I lead the conversation and let the girl follow my vibe. If you are a good bullshitter, this one may work for you.
On off nights or when I'm warming up, those words don't always come, and this is when I'll use a cold read. Sometimes about where the girl is from or what she does for work. I use what she is wearing, how she is acting, an accent or some signal as a non-verbal cue. (Read my article on PUA Cold Reads for more on this.) If you go out enough and practice enough, you'll start to notice that people fall into patterns or categories, so you can cast a wide enough net with a cold read to hook a conversation.
If the opener goes exceptionally well, I may throw out a qualifier immediately.
Sometimes too, if her friends jump in right off the bat, I may comment on the group dynamic and frame one as the leader or tell my "BFF Sister" story (which I'll probably teach at my SuperCamp coming up).
Don't expect a huge reaction. Any reaction is a start.
Rely as much on non-verbal cues for content as you do verbal ones.
Have a story or stock tease ready.
Expect that you'll have to follow up your opener with something else. It's on you to carry the conversation.Former #1 Instructor, now retired from infield instruction.
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