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Smalltalk
Hey guys,
I never had a problem with AA or anything like that, I'm really confident and I do have enough friends and partys to not complain.
BUT
There is one huge thing which I never found an answer to, I bought Magic Bullets and even in that book there's nothing really big about it:
Smalltalk!
How can I keep a conversation flowing and always get new topics in, how do I transition inbetween?
I hoped there'd be a big sticky, but it doesn't seem so.
Please help,
Arcus.
Once you've opened and transitioned, you can talk about basically anything while adding some DHV spikes into what you're saying. The transition can be anything that you notice about her or rephrasing her response to talk about something else. The purpose of the transition is to get into normal conversation about anything with the woman.
Savoy covers transitions in detail in chapter 6 of magic bullets .
I don't really understand what you're having trouble with. Can you tell me in detail what tends to happen when you attempt to transition and start a new conversational thread?
Well the problem is simply: I don't find new topics, I will talk about stuff, then maybe hear "London", almost interrupt her, talk about London, then traveling and after about 8 minutes I'm simply out of topics.
That's basically it.
Plan out conversational topics. Write them down ahead of time yourself and memorize them. If you ever find yourself lapsing into an awkward silence throw one of your memorized topics out and ride with it until it starts dying down again...then throw another one out. Plan out DHV stories that you can weave in with your conversational threads. Also, having a wealth of topics memorized and at hand allows your current conversation to be more effective as
1) you're listening to her instead of sweating over what to say next
2) You don't latch on to a conversational topic and ride it into the groud....boring and needy
You don't need a pick-up book to help you with these. Watch TV, read the newspaper, notice the things that happen to you throughout your day and WRITE THEM DOWN. You'll soon see that you have a stockpile of subjects you CAN talk about. The only problem is that you freeze when playing the conversational game. The way to fix that is to have them memorized, so when you do freeze...you did your homework and it pays off.
sounds fair!
Now I also bought the Routines Vol. 2 Book and it seems there are a few good advices in there too.
I would just like to know what are good topics, not something like the weather or stuff (Is it really that bad?).
I mean these kindof things are helpful wherever, talking to friends, talking to girls, to whoever actually.
But isn't there a point where you just always have something to say?
Also in a social group what are good topics?
Nobody?
Do you, like all normal people, have any interests and hobbies? Those are great to talk about. If you have nothing else going for you besides pick-up, then go out there and make some.
Also, it's not really a matter of WHAT you say as HOW you say it. People say not to talk about the weather. That's not true. You can talk about nearly whatever the hell you want as long as you make it interesting!!!
example:
You: "So...we had some pretty stormy weather the past couple days."
Her: "Yeah, it really sucked."
You: "Yeah, it was hailing too."
Her: "oh?"
You: "The hail fell really hard on my car last night. It got pretty scary."
Her: "....excuse me while i leave and go suck some other guy's dick."
OR
You: "Holy shit! The storms have been RIDICULOUS the past few days. I was driving with my friends to a party last night and felt like I was right beside George Clooney in the Perfect Storm, you know?"
Her: "haha omg, i know, right?"
You: "Seriously, and it's sneaky too! Like my friend lives WAY out in the boonies of Virginia. You know, where they keep raccoons as pets? So halfway there, the weather SEEMS like it's cleared up. So I say "ok guys, we're gonna pull into this 7/11 to pick up some beer."
Her: "haha, yeah?"
You: "So as soon as we get out of the car, all of a sudden we are bombarded! Like i'm getting hit in the head, you could hear the thuds from the car being hit, and my friend is screaming her head off. at first i'm like "Oh shit, the rednecks are throwing golfballs at us! Everybody get back in the car!."
Her: "hahaha"
You: "So I get everybody in the chevy and then realize... 'wait, this is hail!'"
Her: "OMG, that's so funny! Yeah, so my friend and I were out last night too and blah blah blah conversation conversation blah blah."
Be interesting. Be engaging. Be funny.
So yes, if you're freezing in set, have topics memorized- this will help. But be more focused on making the topics interesting rather than on the topics themselves.
Also, steer WAY clear of controversial or heavy topics like abortion, religion, politics, etc.. There's not point of gambling with a hot button topic when you have MILLIONS of other options to go with.
p.s. i'm a country boy myself, i'm not being derogatory or mean any offense when making fun of country folk.
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