Thread: Annoying Invitation
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06-13-2008, 04:29 PM #1
- Join Date
- Jun 2008
Ever since i could remember i always felt depressed after being rejected. Yet, for 95% of the times i aksed a girl out to the movies, mall, or whatever the answer hasn't been a direct no, rather an excuse. An excuse such as "I can't this weekend...i got family over," or something similiar to in that fashion. Troubled, i asked a buddy of mine what to do...he advised not giving up and asking her next weekend. Yet, i felt that would annoy the girl i was trying to ask out...i would imagine she would think "god, this guy won't shut up....he's soo annoying." Now i realize that's my limited mind talking. The fear of her telling other girls struck me...so i never attempted the next-weekend approach...yet the a-few-months-later approach....same result and same girl.."it's father's day weekend...i can't..maybe some other time." Now, once again i ask a different ladies-guru buddy of mine...and he tells me that girls love to be asked out repeatly especially if they say no the first time. He suggested me saying "ohhh come on...it'll be fun...we should goo. Come on." From his point of view it's 100% guarenteed to work...yet I choose to think otherwise. Before trying it out i ask...does this no-stop-ask-out "annoying invitation" technique really work??
06-13-2008, 04:44 PM #2Certified Live Training Graduate Lounge Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
- Ann Arbor, MI
your ladies-guru buddy is probably wrong. I have some friends who think they have "ladies-guru buddies." They also end up giving terrible advice.
And no, it doesn't work. I have alot of lady friends who I LJBFd (yes you read that right, I put them there), and they have guys who hit on them alot. Guess what happens after the first two times? They ignore your calls and go out of their way to avoid you.
06-13-2008, 06:54 PM #3
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
- Chesaning, Michigan, United States
If you ever have read in the book mystery and lovedrop wrote "The Mystery Method: How to get beautiful women into bed" it states as one of the IOD's (Indicators of DISintrest)
1) Avoid you,Eyes,Calls
2) If they can pretend they didn't hear u they will
P.S: I've always hung out with more girls then i did my guy friends ... believe me i should know what i'm talking about.
Hit me up on messenger if ya wanna
06-13-2008, 07:33 PM #4
If a girl is interested in you, but has a valid excuse, she'll usually try to re-schedule the date (how about the weekend after?). An excuse on it's own is just a "no." You can try waiting a bit and asking one more time, but if that doesn't work out, don't keep calling. You have no idea how many times friends complain to me that "(some guy) just won't stop calling!" It gives them validation for a bit, and then gets annoying. Either way, the guy doesn't get laid.
06-14-2008, 12:29 AM #5
06-14-2008, 09:03 AM #6
- Join Date
- May 2008
I think asking again after an "excuse" demonstrates low value/neediness.
I like to ask again, but I ask her to something that's more of a group thing. If a girl declines a date to a movie (one-on-one with you), give her one more chance like "There are a group of us hitting X for happy hour Friday. Drop by if you want. Feel free to bring some friends."
I think this helps for a number of reasons:
1) Maybe there wasn't enough attraction yet to you, and the "group" thing is low stakes and provides you a chance to build attraction if she comes.
2) You exhibit excellent confidence by not being knocked down by her rejection. Even if she declines, you walk away head-high.
3) You demonstrate high social value by having activities like a group happy hour that you can give her access to.
4) You accomplish "indirect" approach by suggesting "it's just happy hour"
5) You can ask this with the confidence that you're not outcome dependent. You're going to happy hour and have a great time anyway, regardless of her decision.
6) If she comes, you get social proof points both ways. She witnesses your group. Your group witnesses your friend.
7) She may even bring friends, expanding your social circle.
8) If she doesn't show, you now have a perfect opener for your next interaction, if any: "You missed an awesome time. About 10 of us started having margaritas, then a group of us bounced out to sushi..." Leave her with buyer's remorse for skipping, and let her see your social train has left the station.