noobs

Discuss noobs at the Newbie Discussion Forum within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; noobs David, aged 37 but looks "late twenties". I am not just a young looking ...

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    noobs

    David, aged 37 but looks "late twenties". I am not just a young looking guy but I also look quite baby-faced as well.

    After a miserable failure a few years ago, I've never bothered because I didn't think girls would be attracted to me. That was because I didn't understand the rules of attraction and dating (I won't bore you with the details of my life but I have had life-long issues with self-esteem and confidence).

    I am trying to lose weight (I am 6ft and weigh 95 kg, which puts my BMI at about 28-29). I am now quite a slim person but I have lot of belly fat.

    So I am here to see if I can get advice really to boost my self-confidence.



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    Welcome

    It might help us to know what you consider your sticking points to be.
    When you see a woman you particularly like the look of, what holds you back?
    Example of DHV: I show her my AngryBirds score
    Example of DLV: She shows me hers...

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    Hello Maverick,

    It is a lot more fundamental than that. I have serious confidence problems with eye-contact because I feel I don't look masculine enough. At the time I came across as a nice guy and an AFC, not as a confident male who wants to have sex. For the last few years I have had problems accepting myself and it has translated into confidence and self-esteem problems.

    For a long time I didn't consider myself to be a fanciable person but then the one attitude I have never liked is arrogance.

    I'm not sure how much sense that makes.

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    pcl81 is offline Certified Live Training Graduate Lounge Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by scubadiver View Post
    Hello Maverick,

    It is a lot more fundamental than that. I have serious confidence problems with eye-contact because I feel I don't look masculine enough. At the time I came across as a nice guy and an AFC, not as a confident male who wants to have sex. For the last few years I have had problems accepting myself and it has translated into confidence and self-esteem problems.

    For a long time I didn't consider myself to be a fanciable person but then the one attitude I have never liked is arrogance.

    I'm not sure how much sense that makes.

    Hey man I know exactly how you are feeling. When I was younger I would do have the same problem. I hated people looking at me because of my lack of confidence. So I would look down or give people a dirty face. Bullshit dude, none of it was true.

    So what I did to overcome this was two things:
    1) go to the mall with the simple goal of walking around and trying to hold eye contact with everyone I could. Even if it was just 5 sec. The more you do it the better. It took me like a year to feel comfortable now I can eye fuck a girl and not give fuck that she caught me.
    2) Body language. Again I would try to make sure I walked around at all times with good body language.

    I did both of these for like a year and it worked. My friends took a pic of me two weeks ago as I was daygaming a two set with a model. I saw that pic and was like wow that is some damn good body language.

    It takes a while dude. At first its going to feel like the hardest thing you have ever done. You will feel super shy and embarrassed. But guess what, those emotions go away little by little until you just don't give a shit. Try it and let me know how it goes.

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    For the last few months I have been trying to make eye contact with girls when I walk to and from work but it never gets reciprocated so the advice is appreciated.

    I have always thought that if a girl didn't fancy me it wasn't my loss anyway but I think that was a cover for my own lack of confidence rather than it being a positive sign of attitude about myself.

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    Eye contact used to be a big thing for me too.

    In true spirit o' a game, i adapted a routine so that i'd have to hold eye contact.... If you want it, i'm happy to give it.
    But, before I do, it's worth remembering that eye contact isn't everything in this. Rid yourself of the ideal that women are all super confident, in control, rational human beings. They are not even close to it. For as many guys that I've heard saying they're nervous, anxious, self-depracating and cannot hold eye contact, i've heard just as many women.

    So, do not take lack of eye contact as a sign you are not attractive to her.

    Like with most everythign on this board, the best way to improve is to play. We can give you all the advice under the sun, but it's you who needs to get out there and start applying it.
    So, head to your mall/shopping centre. Checkout girls and shop assistants are excellent warm-ups (they have to be nice). Get used to holding them in conversation.
    Make yourself a challenge, you have to keep a checkout girl talking long enough that the customer behind moans... ok, harsh on that customer, but it changes the focus for you - you're no longer worrying about the perfect ensemble of lines to say to a girl, you're just saying anything for another goal.

    Don't put so much pressure on yourself about getting the girl('s number, address, love, life, future, past, everything, cosmos)

    Deep breath, smile, shoulders back.... walk with conviction.
    Example of DHV: I show her my AngryBirds score
    Example of DLV: She shows me hers...

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