Girlfriend on Vacation in Puerto Rico

Discuss Girlfriend on Vacation in Puerto Rico at the Newbie Discussion Forum within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Girlfriend on Vacation in Puerto Rico Hey all, So here's the scoop... My now "girlfriend" ...

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    Girlfriend on Vacation in Puerto Rico

    Hey all,

    So here's the scoop... My now "girlfriend" I think. As I told her I loved her and she said she loved me too a week before she left for vacation to Puerto Rico with her best friend.
    We've been dating for 7 months now and together all the time. She is of Dominican Republic Decent and I am African American. She told me in her culture they don't say I love you very often. I respect that but I'm also like... Learn from it and break from it to set your own journey. We come from different cultures and I'm not sure how to approach this.

    I want to ask her if we are officially an exclusive couple but I feel as though she might already have that in her hear that we are, even though it was never discussed fully. She will be coming back next Tuesday and I think we plan to meet up Wednesday or so as she gets in pretty late. By the way, she has been texting me everyday since she left for her vacation. I tried to give her space and all but I told her to let me know when you land just to make sure she gets there safe. turns out I get a phone call that evening as she wanted to hear my voice, text message that following morning, night, next morning and night.

    She left Sunday and it is now Wednesday. She has been texting me ever since she has left daily with photographs as well. I feel as though she never left or isn't enjoying her self as she should. I respond to her text messages as I'm not going to be a jerk but I may take several minutes to respond. I don't have an issue with her texting while out there I just feel as though she should be enjoying time spent with her friend, time alone and the solace of the beautiful island. I mean two weeks ago I went on a weekend camping trip with a bunch of my guy friends to the mountains. I couldn't text her at all as I had no service sleeping 4500 feet a top a mountain. And if I did I probably wouldn't be texting Morning, afternoon and night.

    When I got back from my trip it helped me figure out what I really wanted and put lots of things in perspective. And that was when I told her I loved her and wanted to take the next step. How would you all handle this because I feel as though I didn't get much of a direct response in terms of relationship, stability, boyfriend/ girlfriend.

    Thanks,

    D



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    It best to wait for the girl to ask "what are we?". If you bring it up before she's ready, it may push her away even if she likes you. Some girls will use this knowledge as a leverage and try o play games with you.

    However, you've been together for 7 months and have both said "I love you". Is she seeing anyone else? Are you seeing anyone else? Is there an assumed feeling of exclusivity? If it neither of you is seeing anyone else then you could simply talk to her about it and establish some boundaries. If she doesn't give a direct response or tries to get out of giving an answer, assume that you're not exclusive and take it to mean that you're either an open relationship or fuck-buddies until she makes up her mind.
    Hey, it's all just advice. You can go out there and do whatever the FUCK YOU WANNA DO! - Hodgetwins

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    Quote Originally Posted by d_downs View Post
    It best to wait for the girl to ask "what are we?". If you bring it up before she's ready, it may push her away even if she likes you. Some girls will use this knowledge as a leverage and try o play games with you.

    However, you've been together for 7 months and have both said "I love you". Is she seeing anyone else? Are you seeing anyone else? Is there an assumed feeling of exclusivity? If it neither of you is seeing anyone else then you could simply talk to her about it and establish some boundaries. If she doesn't give a direct response or tries to get out of giving an answer, assume that you're not exclusive and take it to mean that you're either an open relationship or fuck-buddies until she makes up her mind.
    Thanks man, Yea it seems that there is an assumed feeling of exclusivity and I don't think she is seeing anyone else at all as we are together like all the time. Before she left she said she wanted me to meet her parents and stuff. She also said to me this...

    Her... I need to tell you something
    Me... Shoot
    Her... Don't bleed
    Me... Lol what is it
    Her... Do you still talk to your ex girlfriend
    Me... No I don't speak to her anymore and haven't since we broke up 10 months ago
    Her... Oh ok... When you went on your trip with your friends to the mountains I visited my mom and my ex boyfriend happened to show up at my house because he still talks to my mom and needed help with my brother.
    Me... Ok
    Her... I wanted to tell you because I didn't want to feel inappropriate about the whole situation.
    Me... No it's cool I mean you guys been together for what 2 years? I'm sure he has some sort of relationship with your Mom and Brother still.
    Me... I been with my ex for 6 years and her and my mother were like mom and daughter but soon she just cut ties.
    Me... There's a reason they call it ex
    Me... I mean do you want to talk to him or still have feeling for this guy?
    Her... No not at all, it was very uncomfortable for me to be their but I just walked in and he was there.
    Me... Well I'm sure it's not a big deal but I don't operate like that.

    That was the basics of that conversation. Kinda weird what do you think?

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    I think you in a very good position, she seems to be very honest and very much in love with you.
    Just do what you did so far.
    If you don't know in the first 20 minutes whether or not you are going to have sex with the women you just met, you are not a seductionist. - Svengali

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bogs View Post
    I think you in a very good position, she seems to be very honest and very much in love with you.
    Just do what you did so far.
    That's exactly what I thought. I'm wondering do you think I should mention again if we are a couple or exclusively together when she gets back. Or just go with the flow and be confident in the way things are going now. Lol she text me again the morning from her vacation, I think I'm in a good spot.


    D

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mand9584 View Post
    That's exactly what I thought. I'm wondering do you think I should mention again if we are a couple or exclusively together when she gets back. Or just go with the flow and be confident in the way things are going now. Lol she text me again the morning from her vacation, I think I'm in a good spot.

    D
    Unless she brings it on her own, I would not even mention it. Her every single act displays that you guys together (pics and texts everyday, meeting parents, her telling you about ex bf situations which you would never know unless she said it), what else do you want.

    Realize the question about relationship is your need for validation and security, do you really care about words that much, better look on her actions they speak louder.
    If you don't know in the first 20 minutes whether or not you are going to have sex with the women you just met, you are not a seductionist. - Svengali

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    I think when you meet her parents, she'll be more likely to take things more seriously.

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    Agree, she met my parents in a awkward circumstance. I broke two fingers in March and when she was at the hospital after my surgery she showed up so that's how they met lol. Anyway she left for vacation to Puerto Rico last Sunday and comes back Tuesday next week. She has been texting me Day and night with images of her entire trip. Is that normal? I have been responding but I though Vacations were a temporary break from reality? Should I be responding to her text everytime she text me, I've been doing that so far. I feel like she never left lol.

    D

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    Some guys would love to be in your position. Don't discourage her from texting. Respond when you're free and if you're not, respond at a later time.
    Hey, it's all just advice. You can go out there and do whatever the FUCK YOU WANNA DO! - Hodgetwins

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