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Hope your all well.
One-itis Really Really out of control, any help hugely appreciated
Hope your all well.
Before I poor my soul I'll start by showing where I am right now before I get into this 3 and a half month pathetic story...
Currently Sarging with an old friend I have got back in touch with, never read the game but kind of got/gets it all anyway - currently using lines like 'would you set my friend up with your sister, it's a debate we're having as our friend is thinking about it' so I've stepped up a lot since this all kicked off.
But I have joined right now for help as the girl that set me off on a mission to become a PUA and not an AFC is still lodged deep deep in my thoughts and it's basically killing me.
So about 10 months ago I was about 3 stone heavier than I am now, I started going to the gym constantly and eating very carefully,
Around this point my subordinate at work got one of his female friends an entry level job at our place of work, over the next 6 or so months I was never talked to her really except when it was work related and i felt like she'd look down on me as she was kind of hot.
eventually as i grew slimmer my confidence grew and I was flirting outrageously with a different girl at work who had a steady boy friend, rum ours circulated we were fucking etc,
all the while I was making very good friends with the subordinate who had brought her in this had been going on before she arrived at work and I was making good friends with all her/his friends out of work over a shared interest in football.
at times my friends had mentioned the One-itis girl was in a dysfunctional 6 year on off relationship with one of the group that was pissing them all off......... (be back to this)
eventually she ended up working very closely to me at work, I wasn't confident enough to talk to her properly so was accidentally 'freezing her out' by giving everyone but her attention.
One day her, me and my subordinate/friend of hers and another colleague were at the pub and we saw the girl i flirt with come in and she was with her very over weight unnatracive boy friend, i made a joke that girls at some point must just get annoyed with being fucked around and settle for some chump. the one-itis girl said once a guy she didnt really see as being that hot asked her out and she thought, what have you got to lose and it ended up going really well, they had lived together for a while and she ended up getting robbed by him.....
eventually it's the xmas party and me and the girl with the boyfriend are flirting outrageously.
the One-Itis girl must have seen this all night, she left early, she text me asking if I was still out that night, I was drunk and just replied yeah im here blah blah blah, she said she was stuck with some couple friends, we joked about being yucky and i told her she looked really nice tonight,
I was at this point trying to fuck the girl from work with the fat boyfriend right in front of him, it didn't work, I ended up home alone etc etc
the next day was xmas eve and i woke to a long text from her - explaining she'd ended up in bed asleep at 11, over xmas eve xmas day and boxing day we texted loads, boxing day she knew i was with he mates, her on/off bf getting really drunk
FYI - we are only about half way in.........
it carried on, texting late at night texting constantly until we were back at work, by then we had escalated to whats app messenger which is like BBM/MSN and were living in each others phones, we would talk all night on it but never talk at work when we were meters apart, we hadn't before it would seem weird,
eventually i asked her out, via text/whats app, i fucking asked her if maybe we should have one of our chats in person (cringe) if she wanted to do something let me know and id arrange it (cringe)
also while all this was going on i wasn't really drinking much at weekends, that friday it was her birthday, i was home alone listening to the smith sober and smoking ciggarettes, my friend had informed me she would definitely be texting me that night about meeting up, i thought he was crazy!
she was texting me, it was late i was sober and i was too afraid to go out and meet what i imagined would be hot and diassaproving friends (note i now realise i should have gone out, not talked to her too much bought her friends and her somne shots and said i had to go shortly as was busy in the morning, took her to one side before i left and kissed her, if she was on it invite he back to mine) i bottled i and ended up textin her all night!
the next day she was texting me loads (like the annoying friend of a little sister) and she knew i was out with her friends, that night when i got home we talked for a while and i told her i felt like a dick for not coming out to see her the previous night she said id been a bit stupid, i told her id like to take her out to make up for it, go for some drinks and take her for a meal, she said she was excited and couldn't wait............ but was busy all week and would let me know........
the next few days she had gone a bit cold, stopped texting me as much and i mentioned it a couple of times (meeting up) and she suggested I go out with her and her friends, I said ok, then she got ill and it rolled on a week and I started to feel like she was knocking me back so i gave up, stopped texting her and had since had a blind date arranged with another girl, I put it about work that i was out on the pull, in my mind i was fucking fuck you one-itis girl theirs other girls who want it!
when it got back to her she texted me while at work saying she knew i wasn't asking her out and i could have told her and 'have a good time on your date!!'
I told her everything, that i really liked her, that id agreed to the date because it was my getting over one-itis girls rejection (I KNOOOOOOOOOOW)
so she said if i started texting her after the date and i was still interested shed be happy and we could meet up.
after the date i text her straight away (i knooooooooooooooow) told her it was just drinks and it wasn't going anywhere.
i left it a day (still texting a lot but didn't ask her out again right away) then asked her of she wnated to do something later that week.....
eventually!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we met up, it went great, drinks then take out at mine and we got very hot and into it, no sex but plenty of naughtiness, she wanked me off i fingured her etc etc!! but over the night i did drunkenly say i really liked her, she said it back,
i thought we were starting a relationship!! was very very happy!! but obviously it was secret from everyone we knew!!
next day at work i asked her of she wnated to come to mine the next day and id cook, we met in secret outside work and i stupidly held her hadn as we walked home,
when we got to mine and on the sofa i was ready to pick up where we left off kissing and cuddling, she seemed very apprehensive, i backed off, she slowly warmed to me again and we were kissing,
I went to kiss her neck and she almost squeemed and turned away... I backed off, she started asking what was wrong, i explained I didn't know where we were
she said she was drunk last time, felt that she had lead me on thinking I was getting into a relationship!
she said she wanted to go away and live in China for a whole after the summer and didn't want to get into anything and blah blah blah,
I told her i was looking to move out the city that summer and wasn't either (accidental master stroke) and we ended up fingering wanking again,
the next night her mates and her were going out and they had invited me, i was actuallay distraught though deep down at what shes said about us basically having no future! so i bottled it and did'n go out with them and got drunk with my mate at my mates instead she texted me asking why i was'n coming and i explained i was just with my friends,
i then got really drunk and sent her a few message saying i was up to some wierd night, she repeatedly asked what was i doing and i was making ajoke out of it,
she then said
'if you don't want to tell me then i must not want to know!!'
so i went mental and sent her loads of messages apologizing for being a dick and i l really liked her and went on and on and on,
she didn text back until she got home that night to say night!
next day i texted explaining myself, she was meant to be coming over the Monday and i asked if she was still cool to hang out,
at work on Monday she said was tired and could we give it a miss, i expected it anyway, that night i went to the gym i waited until late hoping she might message and ask how i was or whatever but she didn , i was stressing and it seemed over so i message her saying had she decided she wanted to be friends or something, she said i was over thinking it and making it really complicated, i for some reason said i was overthinking it because of the secrecy and not being used to secret shit like this, she said she it was all too much too soon and wanted to leave it
I was devastated,
i didn text or really talk to her at work for a couple pf weeks, her friends invited me out for drinks with her being there a few weekends later, she was all over her ex in front of me!!!! proper rubbing it in, i got really drunk and started texting her while we were all out, shit like i'd pull the moon and the stars out the sky for her (i know!
i then proceeded to tell one of her friends i had a thing for her and we nearly got it on, he didn't actually believe me.
he told her the next day what i said, he articulated it as i had bragged i could fuck her!!!
i then texted her saying sorry, didn't know what had got into me and was going to delete her number an she should delete mine!
i deleted hers, ignored her for 2-3 weeks at work,
she then texts me at work saying she feels uncomfortable and can we have a chat?
we go into a meeting room and i explained i thought she didn want to talk to me and we then proceeded to rip the whole thing apart, i said its ok it would'n have worked, she said it could if i hadn of scared her off!!
so now i have her number again, i got drunk that weekend and sent her a load of messages telling her i loved her and stuff.
she was then really freaked out as you would imagine,
so now we work together but im still obsessed with her, she emails me about none work stuff like chocolate and stuff, she texts me to say she needs to be off il etc but if i text her out of work about stuff she replies with one word texts no questions etc, s i have now deleted her number again as its fuckin sad and embarrassing,
the problem o really have now is that i have now read the lay guide, the game and taled to loads of lads about it,
what's killing me is if i'd known all this shit now i would have played the game, i ould have made her into the annoying little sisters friend, got her into me, not comne on strong and i cant move on because the more i now get to know her the more i like her,
in fact now the crush is over and i now feel like i get her, i think i do genuinely love her,
over the last few months ive shagged a few girls and i cant get over her, i cant even wank over anyone but her...
and the more i learn and the more my game improves the more it kills me because i know if i knew all this shit back then i could have got her, or at the very least stood a chance!!!!!
how do you get over it when the more you learn the more you realize you had them right where you wnated them and fucked it up??????????
I want her but it just seems i have woke up too late and she's completely off me forever, I just wanna go back and do it the way i would now knowing what i know!!!
the more i learn and the better my game gets the more regret i feel for not knowing when i needed it with the girl who really is all i ever wanted!!
thoughts and and advice please!
not really explained how fucked up i am
walk to work is really abd, walk home fuckin awful,
drinking loads! wake up in the night thinking about it,
now the really really bad bit is i'm having dreams where i'm back in time and doing it properly and gaming it all, then i wake up and wanna die!! it's fuckin horrible.
the more i learn the more i wanna go back in time and get her, not other girls!!!!
Hook umeone else, the thing is, she knows she's going to leave at some point, and all this focus and energy on her is going to make it harder when it does come time for hp with soer to go.
I usually don't recommend GFTOW, but this doesn't have legs, it's someone to have fun with, let her enjoy time with the bf, and when she feels like coming over, mess around with her, but she shouldn't be your ONLY option.
You will feel SO much better getting laid with multiple women right now ,and shouldn't feel guilty about it because you have feelings for one in particular.
Make it into a romance novel situation, when you and her are alone, it's all about your private little world at that moment, and all those long texts... those should be more about her missing you and wanting to see you now, ASAP, and all that, more than the other way around.
Have fun with it - she's going to get laid where ever she's going, but she's prob. going to be thinking of you when she's gone if she writes a lot. It's better to let her think of you as an awesome fuck than some sad sack at the airport watching her leave.
Hell, she might be cool about you and a friend of hers...
Seriously mate just forget/ignore her as much as you physically can, get involved with that many other girls that you near enough forget who she even was....
If needs must, find another job, dont go out with her friends as shes likely to be there!
Stop drinking every night, thats not gunna do you any good and is just gunna make you feel even more sorry for yourself.
At the end of the day, you hadn't even f-closed the girl and it seems 95% of any interatction with her was through text, which for someone who claims to love her sound very strange.
You need to believe that you DON'T need her at all and the sooner you realise this the happier you will be!
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