Discuss i dont even know what i need to work on at the Newbie Discussion Forum within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; i dont even know what i need to work on
me and my friend zach ...
i dont even know what i need to work on
me and my friend zach went to the mall today with the intention of doing a confidence building exercise
asking girls what time it is
it worked pretty good at first i approached a few girls with a nice smile and got some satisfying results. my friend didnt approach as many girls individually but the two groups that he did approach (in my opinion) seemed really happy that he was just talking to them.
but thats about as far as either of us have gotten. we both felt the confidence from getting smiles but neither of us had any idea how to approach a girl without asking the time.... i guess this is sort of approach anxiety but i had no trouble walking up to a girl when i knew i was going to ask her if she had the time
right before we left a group of 3 girls were 100% checking us out and trying to get our attention (turns out one of the girls was a parent so we didnt even try) we were trying to think of something to say when the only thing i could think of was "you should really talk to us if your going to act like that" but it didnt matter to us when we realized they were with a parent.
for the most part the exercise worked but i feel we were a little bit above that point to begin with yet we still werent ready to run game like someone who knows what they're doing can. i suppose what i am looking for is just more exercises.
Use an opener (an opinion opener would help with AA) like:
You: "Hey, you seem like a clever person, can i ask you a question, it will only take a minute" (time constraint helps everytime)
Her: "Yeah, sure."
You: "What do you think women want?
Her: "A... i don't know what to say... bla bla bla"
(1)(you can go indirect) You: "You see because, I have this friend that tries to talk with the girl he likes, and can't find a way to reach her soul. He's also a little bit shy.
Her: Well, he should tell her what he feels... etc. etc.
You: That's what you would like from a man approaching you?
You: Compliment her behaviour or tell her what you want with her.
(2)(or go direct) You: I was asking this because i saw you from over there, and i find you attractive, i want you and me to get together sometime.
Her: (she should be hesitant or just unpredictable)
You: (man up) Your phone number would prove usefull.
You: get the number and move on / don't take it personally
Pretty much any opener (do a search for them) will work. Some of them sound forced, canned, and unnatural. But they work, and allow you the chance to build a conversation.
The positive, is that you do not have approach anxiety, you have seduction/game anxiety. You are able to go and speak to women. OK, asking the time isn't a seduction, but it is speaking to someone you like the look of. That's the basic principle of gaming. Just talking to them - and then improving upon that.
When my friend and I first started out, we also set up some fun challenges (topics/themes/ideas/missions) and some fun forfeits if we didn't open a girl once we'd seen her... it makes it a bit more interesting, AND you get the benefit of even if the girl is completely zoned out and not interested, you still win and walk away smiling, because you miss the forfeit at least.
Makeit fun, but never tell them it's part of a game or challenge, obviously.
Do a search for 'openers' and run some of them for a few days
Good work though
Example of DHV: I show her my AngryBirds score
Example of DLV: She shows me hers...
thanks guys this is all helpful advice and i will definitely keep these in mind and try to work this stuff in
my friend who is just better in general with girls said i really need a routine that works form me and i am trying to think of openers that i can use naturally without having to practice (something that just suits my general personality) but most of the time the only way i can do that is in a random situation. but i am getting better each time i try to approach a girl (even if i'm still not that far.
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