How to talk to women when they start bringing up their problems?

Discuss How to talk to women when they start bringing up their problems? at the Newbie Discussion Forum within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; How to talk to women when they start bringing up their problems? So you've got ...

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    How to talk to women when they start bringing up their problems?

    So you've got the girl attracted and she's fairly comfortable with you. Then inevitably she starts to bring up her problems which usually involve either insecurity about her looks or relationship problems with her friends. At this point you cant really be funny anymore because you come off as shallow and insensitive. I guess then you can try to relate to them but they usually get pissy or just brush off your opinion/advice. So I'm not really sure what to do at this point. Any advice?



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    I usually end up being the "advice/comforting nice guy" for my female friends. None of them would fuck me or go out with me, but they sure as hell will USE me for emotional support.

    In other words, don't do what I do.

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    I agree with moonkrit. don't be too sensitive or comforting, once she thinks your some one who'll all ways listen to her problems she'll start coming to you with them more often. you'll spend more time trying to fix her situation than showing her your the fun cool guy that makes her forget about them. try being positive and then and change the subject. let me know how it goes
    What makes us free men is out ability to see choice

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    Yeah makes sense that you don't want to become their gay friend lol. On the other hand don't you think that by making light of their problems and changing the subject you would cause them some resentment? It seems like a lose-lose situation.

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    This one is simple. Just let her speak and say nothing, she'll continue to speak and still say nothing, just before the moment you sense she's gonna hit you with a "are you listening to me?" rant only say "anything else?"

    Then, before allowing her to process that message as that coming from someone who gives a fu** (and you might as well be giving a fu**, don't mis-interpret me here) you just reach out to her and make her feel at ease, opening yourself for a hug. Then, it's simple. Only say that all is OK, or will be OK, nothing to worry, that she should feel SAFE with you.

    Women want security from their man, that he has the balls to take it up, that he's unmoved by all her shit because if you freak-out with her, any attraction she had for you goes to never return. For therapy, she can ask her girlfriends or gay friends. You're her man. Never forget that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mrsir View Post
    Yeah makes sense that you don't want to become their gay friend lol. On the other hand don't you think that by making light of their problems and changing the subject you would cause them some resentment? It seems like a lose-lose situation.
    I've done it and it and still laid the girl in that situation. You need to ask yourself if you want to be her lover or boyfriend because i cant really help unless you actually want to take her mind away from it and attract her. remember attraction isn't a choice, she cant decide not to be attracted to you because its not her choice its instead something that she feels. she feels drawn to you and with that she can overlook your flaws. also i wouldn't worry too much about it because my mind would be on closing her instead. The girl i was with was having problems with her ex. i was reassuring and positive but i stayed focused on teasing, using kino (very imprtant), eye contact and escalating. You could try helping her with her problems during comfort / rapport but i personally would stick to material. Also you say: they usually get pissy or just brush off your opinion/advice This makes the question even more irrelevant to me. but this is what i would do. This being advice take it with a grain of salt and decide for yourself best of luck
    What makes us free men is out ability to see choice

  7. #7
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    Well, when does this happen? First, second, or 20th date?

    My guess is you are doing something upfront to cause this: such as being too nice and accomdating. I never have this problem so that should tell you something. IMO, if she is out with you and having fun she shouldn't even be thinking about her problems. Then again, I never put up with a girl complaining about anything, it's such a turn off.

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    This book aboutrelationships told me thousands of times; when a women tells about her problems just be there for her and listen toher. Never try to come with solutions.. Si if I were u
    You I would just listen.. Never give advice unless she asks for it..

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sucesos View Post
    This one is simple. Just let her speak and say nothing, she'll continue to speak and still say nothing, just before the moment you sense she's gonna hit you with a "are you listening to me?" rant only say "anything else?"

    Then, before allowing her to process that message as that coming from someone who gives a fu** (and you might as well be giving a fu**, don't mis-interpret me here) you just reach out to her and make her feel at ease, opening yourself for a hug. Then, it's simple. Only say that all is OK, or will be OK, nothing to worry, that she should feel SAFE with you.

    Women want security from their man, that he has the balls to take it up, that he's unmoved by all her shit because if you freak-out with her, any attraction she had for you goes to never return. For therapy, she can ask her girlfriends or gay friends. You're her man. Never forget that.
    GENIUS! (H) you maintain unaffected by her problems and then hug her like you're her daddy. Showing that you do care for her (not her problems)

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    You listen and laugh at some point that shouldn't really be funny and say "It's not that bad. I hear ya. Let's go do....." fill in the blank with whatever

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