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Discuss 4 days dating. Now it stops? Need a mans opinion! at the Newbie Discussion Forum within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; 4 days dating. Now it stops? Need a mans opinion! Hey guys I got a ...
  1. #1
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    4 days dating. Now it stops? Need a mans opinion!

    Hey guys I got a question.

    Quick Story:
    I met this girl sarging with a buddy. Her friend was the target but I switched it up and went for the other friend. I got her number and got a kiss. We have see each other 1 day out of the week on Thursdays at a local bar for young people (age 18-30). Every time we went out I would would casually joke with her and her friend that she is going to date me. I would ask her friends if they care while she was standing next to me holding me. They all said they didn't mind. A few of them even suggested we would have good looking kids (kinda weird hearing that one personally). All her friends like me a lot and I made sure they did. I told her I was laid off from the plant and that I am looking for a new job. Right now I haven't been able to taker her on a real date for just the two of us because of my money situation. We only communicate through a myspace type site. This last Thursday, I was a little tipsy and i got both our emotions flowing hot. So I told her I was getting tired of waiting and asked her to be my GF. She Accepted. However 4 days later I offer to take her out to lunch and I get this. I do believe I fell for her pretty fast and I'm not sure how to slow it down. Every relationship I've been in has gone really fast. From meeting a woman to dating her in less than a month. Is that normal?

    Now I always seem to be showing this girl more attention than what she shows me. I am 4 years older than her and i haven't been in a relationship for over 1 year now. She is a virgin and is only 18. I'm kinda confused about the situation right now and because my emotions are involved I am unable to make decisions that will better the situation.

    The Message:
    Andrew: we should do lunch today. yup me and u
    Lauren: How are we gonna manage that
    [few hours go by]
    Andrew: ok lets do it on Wednesday? what time would be good for u?
    Lauren: got class
    [switched the convo to private message]
    Andrew: if u dont want to go just say so duh
    Lauren: uh! i would
    Andrew: liar liar pants on fire, Hangin’ on a telephone wire!
    Lauren: and not that this is of any relevance but i dont know if we should date so soon at least until things are stable. it kind of makes me feel weird about us cause we dont see each other or communicate and i know youre trying but i just think we should wait until things are straight, please?
    Andrew: omg ty i was thinking the same thing
    Lauren: ah good thank god! cause my stomach has been in knots since

    The Questions
    1. What do I say back to her message? Or do I even reply at all?
    2. Am I over thinking the situation? Or is there possibly someone else?
    3. How do I act the next time I see her? Do I kiss her and continue on like nothings changed or do I step back and be distant?
    4. Do you have any other opinions on this or can you give me example of your past experiences?


    Currently I feel like I am unable to make rationale decisions because my emotions are involved and I am a bit confused.

    Thanks guys!
    -TCG


    I open successfully 100% of the time.
    I always get the number.
    I'm currently working on my kiss close. I usually get the kiss 50% of the time.
    How did I learn?
    1. How to Win Friends and Influence People
    2. Routines Manual Volume 1 and 2
    3. Magic Bullets
    4. Practice Practice practice (sarge)

  2. #2
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    1) Nah, stop chatting online. Meet her IRL and have a kick-ass time while you're among her and her friends.

    2) When emotions are involved you are always thinking too much. You lose your game and become needy.

    "Andrew: ok lets do it on Wednesday? what time would be good for u?
    Lauren: got class
    [switched the convo to private message]
    Andrew: if u dont want to go just say so duh
    Lauren: uh! i would
    Andrew: liar liar pants on fire, Hangin’ on a telephone wire!"

    This was prolly the worst thing you could have done. You were way too insecure.

    "Lauren: and not that this is of any relevance but i dont know if we should date so soon at least until things are stable. it kind of makes me feel weird about us cause we dont see each other or communicate and i know youre trying but i just think we should wait until things are straight, please?
    Andrew: omg ty i was thinking the same thing
    Lauren: ah good thank god! cause my stomach has been in knots since"

    Because you rushed things you get this reply. Especially the part where you said she should be your GF is bad game. Chicks want fun and eventually they want to commit to a relationship.

    3) Yeah, kiss her (if that was what you usually doing). Don't act 'angry' or 'uninterested'. Act happy to see her, have a good time and pretend like the previous shit didn't happen.

    4) Slowly start gaming her again. That means slowly building tension and eventually, if everything works out, you'll be where you left it and making out again. If this won't work befriend her or leave her.

    GL m8

  3. #3
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    Arbi thank you for your assessment of the situation. I will consider everything you have said.

    Can anyone else shed some light on this topic?

    Thanks a bunch,
    -TCG
    I open successfully 100% of the time.
    I always get the number.
    I'm currently working on my kiss close. I usually get the kiss 50% of the time.
    How did I learn?
    1. How to Win Friends and Influence People
    2. Routines Manual Volume 1 and 2
    3. Magic Bullets
    4. Practice Practice practice (sarge)

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    bump. help would be greatly appreciated!
    I open successfully 100% of the time.
    I always get the number.
    I'm currently working on my kiss close. I usually get the kiss 50% of the time.
    How did I learn?
    1. How to Win Friends and Influence People
    2. Routines Manual Volume 1 and 2
    3. Magic Bullets
    4. Practice Practice practice (sarge)

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    What stability is she looking for.. She said her stomach has "been in knots since"... Since what?

    I think theres part of this story that is missing.. you screwed up somewhere previously.

    Also i do agree that you move WAY too fast... FYI you never need to make a girl your girlfriend.. its one of those things that happen by itself.

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    Hmmm how did u get into a relationship without fucking her. Ur needy and insecure. Remember that a relationship is a 2-way thing.
    I still dont get the situation very well. Like y did she accept to be ur gf, and what her problem is to `until things are stable`
    "Psychology is an essential ingredient so that logic dominates emotions, and the human dominates the animal"

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kir Diesel View Post
    What stability is she looking for.. She said her stomach has "been in knots since"... Since what?

    I think theres part of this story that is missing.. you screwed up somewhere previously.

    Also i do agree that you move WAY too fast... FYI you never need to make a girl your girlfriend.. its one of those things that happen by itself.
    I believe she is looking for a long term relationship as she is a virgin. During my interactions with her and my friends I would playful (when the time was right and her emotions were stimulated) that she would be my girlfriend. Doing this she NEVER made suggestions that she didn't want that. Actually her friends would come up to me and tell me she really likes me. At one point I had hinted to her that on our first official date I might ask her to be my girlfriend. She seemed all for this. I think the fact that I am 22 and don't have a job and money to take her out is a big part of why it didn't work so good. Although when I "asked her to be my gf" she was happy as fuck. you could just tell and clinged to me the entire time at the bar. I was drinking she was Not drinking herself. She was sober so I'm not sure what happened.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hitman47 View Post
    Hmmm how did u get into a relationship without fucking her. Ur needy and insecure. Remember that a relationship is a 2-way thing.
    I still dont get the situation very well. Like y did she accept to be ur gf, and what her problem is to `until things are stable`
    Yes I do feel this weird insecure feeling and I don't know why. She hasn't done anything bad to make me feel this way and I've never felt like this towards a woman before so I don't know what's up.

    Question
    Ok so apparently I don't ask a girl to be my girlfriend. Now that I think about it, it sounds like something middle school kids do.
    1. So do I just pretend like the GF/Relationship thing never happened and continue like usual?
    2. Do I still kiss her or keep it hugs only?


    I was thinking about running some jealousy plot-lines on her that I've learned from the "Interview Series."

    Seriously guys thanks for the help! It really is greatly appreciated!

    -TCG
    I open successfully 100% of the time.
    I always get the number.
    I'm currently working on my kiss close. I usually get the kiss 50% of the time.
    How did I learn?
    1. How to Win Friends and Influence People
    2. Routines Manual Volume 1 and 2
    3. Magic Bullets
    4. Practice Practice practice (sarge)

  8. #8
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    bump. Since I will be seeing her tomorrow (thursday, 29th), help would be greatly appreciated!

    2 Questions:

    1. So do I just pretend like the GF/Relationship thing never happened and continue like usual?
    2. Do I still kiss her or keep it hugs only?
    I open successfully 100% of the time.
    I always get the number.
    I'm currently working on my kiss close. I usually get the kiss 50% of the time.
    How did I learn?
    1. How to Win Friends and Influence People
    2. Routines Manual Volume 1 and 2
    3. Magic Bullets
    4. Practice Practice practice (sarge)

  9. #9
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    I have been doing some research!
    Ok I have been doing some research on my situation. It seems many guys have had this happen and I have benefited from their previous experiences.

    I have developed a Game Plan of sorts.

    1. First and foremost when we see each other again, I will act as if everything is the same (before the night I asked her to be my GF). This includes playful flirting, touching, kissing, and hand holding.
    2. Next I feel as though I should employ a jealousy plotline. In which case I would greet her and her friends like normal, but also talk to women out side her social circle.
    3. Explain to her I want to take things "slow" and that if we date, then it "just ended up happening." WHILE REMEMBERING NOT to show my negative/hurt emotions. Keeping a smile on my face and then soon transitioning on to another topic.
    4. DHV to prove I AM worth the time.
    5. SLOWING DOWN as in not showing as much affection (cheek and forehead kissing, long periods of hand holding). Basically spending an equal amount of time with her and my friends throughout the night.


    If anyone can add on to this list or give me some pointers that would be great. ALSO if you feel something is wrong with my "game plan" then please feel free to edit and elaborate on the subject.

    Thanks a ton,
    -TCG
    I open successfully 100% of the time.
    I always get the number.
    I'm currently working on my kiss close. I usually get the kiss 50% of the time.
    How did I learn?
    1. How to Win Friends and Influence People
    2. Routines Manual Volume 1 and 2
    3. Magic Bullets
    4. Practice Practice practice (sarge)

  10. #10
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    First of all: Fuck your list. Life can't be planned. And if you try you won't succeed. You can't control the environment. And if 1 of the steps won't work your whole 'plan' is screwed. Believe me when I say I have the EXACT same shit.
    This girl I really like (been kissing etc for 5 weeks), sorta came in the friendzone but whilst we both gave signals that we want more. Still I can't pull it off to kiss her again. I can literally kiss and close every damn girl, but I don't have the balls to deal with her. Because you get this feeling like I don't wanna fuck it up. And that attitude, my friend, will only result in you going home alone with a crappy feeling because you didn't pull it off, AGAIN. Because you're constantly thinking about her there's no room in your head for having fun. And fun is the keyword for succeeding with ANY lady.
    In my head I'm making the same fucking plans you are doing here. And it only fucks up your evening and minimalizes your chances. So for the love of God please destroy this list and empty your head. Go out there with the intention of having a good time instead of this fixation on her.

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