MBB - forums
Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 28
Discuss Got out of the Friend Zone...now what? at the Newbie Discussion Forum within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Hard to read too much into it, just trust your gut and not your fear. ...
  1. #11
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Gender:
    Age
    33
    Posts
    2,178
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Hard to read too much into it, just trust your gut and not your fear.

    General treatment, keep it pretty close to how it was before except instead of saying "grab a bite" you can say "go to dinner." Minor shit, but it sets up a slightly more romantic context without changing everything too drastically. If you suddenly disappear or suddenly get clingy after the relationship goes physical, that can make her think everything has changed all of a sudden, when it really hasn't.

    Do you think she's being upfront about the blind date since you're not exclusive yet (good thing) or do you think she's probing/fishing to see if you'd rather be exclusive? You really have to feel this one out on your own. Maybe she's forcing the issue of "where is this going?" or maybe she's just letting you know that she's ok with multi-dating. That's your judgment call to make.

    For lack of any other advice I would say it's better to have that conversation a shade too late than a shade too soon, if that makes sense?



  2. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Gender:
    Posts
    76
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    called her last night. she picked up and said "im out...can i call you back"

    turns out she was out with the guy again

    how do i react? next her?

  3. #13
    sjm1989 Guest

    Quote Originally Posted by rrr12345 View Post
    called her last night. she picked up and said "im out...can i call you back"

    turns out she was out with the guy again

    how do i react? next her?
    Just take a little time to calm down and think clearly about your next move. I would do anything drastic, but sit back and let things take their course. Although you should punish her for being out with the guy by cutting contact. By doing this, it may appear to her that this is bothering you. Don't push anything exclusive with her at the moment and go on more dates yourself.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Gender:
    Posts
    76
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by sjm1989 View Post
    Just take a little time to calm down and think clearly about your next move. I would do anything drastic, but sit back and let things take their course. Although you should punish her for being out with the guy by cutting contact. By doing this, it may appear to her that this is bothering you. Don't push anything exclusive with her at the moment and go on more dates yourself.
    the initial date with this guy was what triggered the whole freeze-out/her coming back scenario

    to me, her going out with him is direct insult and lack of respect on her part. especially since its the same guy as before.

    am i being irrational?

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Gender:
    Age
    33
    Posts
    2,178
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Yes you are being irrational. You only just started dating, you're being clingy and needy. You can't expect commitment yet. You would date around, so is she. Just chill the fuck out and take it slower, continue to date other girls, and if it goes well you can get to the relationship stage EVENTUALLY.

    As it is now, you're a lot more invested than she is and that's not good.

    Chill.

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Gender:
    Posts
    76
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Phateless View Post
    Yes you are being irrational. You only just started dating, you're being clingy and needy. You can't expect commitment yet. You would date around, so is she. Just chill the fuck out and take it slower, continue to date other girls, and if it goes well you can get to the relationship stage EVENTUALLY.

    As it is now, you're a lot more invested than she is and that's not good.

    Chill.
    thing is, i havent seen her in 2 weeks and called/txted to her twice. is that needy/clingly?

    i havent told her any of these thoughts, just to the community.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Gender:
    Age
    33
    Posts
    2,178
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by rrr12345 View Post
    thing is, i havent seen her in 2 weeks and called/txted to her twice. is that needy/clingly?

    i havent told her any of these thoughts, just to the community.
    No, that isn't at all. Good, that's what we're here for bro.

    This is tough. She's going to date around until you two declare yourselves exclusive and there's nothing wrong with that. You have to hang out with her and play it cool until she's ready for the relationship talk.

    As I said before, don't drop off the face of the earth but don't be too needy.

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Gender:
    Posts
    76
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Phateless View Post
    No, that isn't at all. Good, that's what we're here for bro.

    This is tough. She's going to date around until you two declare yourselves exclusive and there's nothing wrong with that. You have to hang out with her and play it cool until she's ready for the relationship talk.

    As I said before, don't drop off the face of the earth but don't be too needy.
    still....my gut feeling says she just wants to be friends

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Gender:
    Age
    33
    Posts
    2,178
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by rrr12345 View Post
    still....my gut feeling says she just wants to be friends
    That's also what I gathered from this situation as well, but you seem intent on trying to make more out of it, so I was trying to help if I could. I feel where you are bro, we've all been there...

    She did get naked and fool around with you, so you're not completely friendzoned. There's obviously attraction, so there is hope, but you're WAY too invested at this stage and that will push her away.

    Put her on the back burner, date other girls, and consider this a side project. Keep working on it bit by bit.

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Gender:
    Posts
    76
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    update...

    so just before halloween she meets up again with the guy and his friends. when she tells me i say im seeing other ppl as well so theres no reason why she cant. regretably, i tell her that once either of us starts dating someone, a relationship of any kind between us realistically cant contiunue. (even though its the truth, shouldnt of said it)

    she invites me to meet up at a halloween party. she tells me shes going with the other guy and i say thats fine. some of my friends are going to the same party so i tell her ill be there (with the intention of out-DHV him). there, i start talking up an old female friend when i get a txt from her asking where i am. she finds me outside, gives me a hug, says hi to my friend and goes inside. when i run into her later inside, she asks if thats the other girl im seeing, that shes cute, etc etc. throughout the night i go back and forth between our groups, not wanting to be clinging to her. they leave the party early and i miss 2 calls from her. then about an hr later i get another call from her but am in the restroom. my female friend from before answers the phone and says im preoccupied at the time. havent talked to her since.

    any ideas why she called me? id love to think its becuase shes regretting her decisions, but i know thats very unlikely. ive nexted her and am gaming other girls, but what do i when/if she wants to meet and catch up?

Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. HB9 Friend Zone or crazy zone ?
    By joeypsu in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 10-28-2009, 05:47 AM
  2. Where Exactly Is The Friend Zone?
    By bobbinika in forum Off-Topic
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 07-10-2009, 02:09 AM
  3. Get out of the friend zone.
    By stradivarius in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 12-14-2008, 05:12 AM
  4. Friend Zone
    By Fenix04 in forum Newbie Discussion Forum
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 12-12-2008, 11:24 AM
  5. am I in friend zone?
    By babujbf in forum Relationships
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 09-25-2007, 11:07 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  • Forum Rules



Facebook  Twitter