Called "gay" by unknown girl at work

[Ratae]

I work in a store, have done for 9 months. I keep a low profile at work and just do my work. Well, I was walking through the warehouse area and this hot female employee (9/10) said "he's so gay" as I walked by. She was standing with another member of staff (male) at the time. It was said in a mean, dismissive tone, not jokingly. She also said the word "depressing" aimed at me a few weeks before the gay comment.

I don't know her, never spoken to her... she's on a different department. She does talk/socialize with varies guys in the canteen break area etc. We do pass each others path from time to time.

Is it a shit test or general meanness - bitch? I feel quite annoyed but don't want to create a stink, still need to refute it though cos this sort of thing lowers ones rep.

She's young (about 18; I'm 30 but look 20/21...she can't possibly know my real age) and I thought this type of behavior was more inline with school aged kids.

[Feroc1ty]

I wouldn't take that kind of shit, if it's some random girl trying to show off in front of another guy I'd file a report on that bitch and get her fired, sexual harassment is serious business, especially if it's putting your reputation on the line; but that's just what I think... other guys might say game her.

[bplturner]

She probably knows that she is attractive. Thus, she probably thinks she can bend the social norms to her will and do whatever she wants to--especially to men.

Grow a pair and tell that bitch to fuck off, or worse--suggest that she's fat in the nicest way possible.

[Child In Time]

Oh if it's about bringing a woman down to pieces where she'll beg for some positive attention from your side. First talk to her about something work related, then say it smells like dried sweat in here (make sure, obviously, that you 2 are the only ones about).

If you hear her talk to another about 'that little piece of clothing she likes', tell her it doesn't match her face and that she has a fat girls face.

If you hear her make a dumb comment, say something in the lines of 'How the hell did you ever get work? Are you some kind of social pro-deo case, you know, letting mentally challenged people work in public places'.

Probably the rudest: tell her that her mother secretly wanted a post-birth abortion, obviously that's actually considered murder (not just ethically).

This all, obviously, is only if you want her to cry at night, not if you want to game her.

[Idd]

I think you should play it cool. Act like you don't even know that she is talking about you. Like one of the guys in the thread said just go up to her and start talking about work and shit and be extra friendly to her and give her extra attention when you see her. Just be really nice to her and talk nice about her to her coworkers and shit so you can make her look bad when she badmouths you to other people.

[Child In Time]

I think you should play it cool. Act like you don't even know that she is talking about you. Like one of the guys in the thread said just go up to her and start talking about work and shit and be extra friendly to her and give her extra attention when you see her. Just be really nice to her and talk nice about her to her coworkers and shit so you can make her look bad when she badmouths you to other people.

If you give in to the mister nice guy profile, she'll just notice that even though she talks shit about you, you'll still be mister nice guy to her. That's a huge DLV.
The best you get out of this is that they feel pity for you.. You don't want that man.

[Ratae]

We are both merchandisers on the same level of work, just on different aisles (the job is retail). I can't see why she would want my attention; I'm old enough to realize I'm not "hot" or posses the traditional Alpha Male appearance (tall, athletic, handsome) that women look for, and she could certainly have being a 9.

I just think it's sheer nastiness and rudeness - an act of social dominance - trying to get rid of me by lowering my rep first. Shes not afraid of lowering me in front of other (male) staff members that's for sure. I don't know whether the term "gay" was meant to mean I show no interest in women (f.e. she's pissed I don't talk to her), or in the pejorative sense i.e. "lame" "uncool" "undesirable" "poor quality" that's common tongue among 14-year-olds.

I feel if I report her it'll make things 10x worse being a guy (that's how it is), but I rarely get the chance to get her alone to have a word back. I could sneak something into her locker - I know it's out of cameras eye and there's enough of a gap to slide a note. Some kind of 'psycho' note that will really make her feel unstable working here. Then again, she'll know it's from me if I'm the only one she's dishing the shit out to.

[snuggle_muffin]

I work in a store, have done for 9 months. I keep a low profile at work and just do my work. Well, I was walking through the warehouse area and this hot female employee (9/10) said "he's so gay" as I walked by. She was standing with another member of staff (male) at the time. It was said in a mean, dismissive tone, not jokingly. She also said the word "depressing" aimed at me a few weeks before the gay comment.

I don't know her, never spoken to her... she's on a different department. She does talk/socialize with varies guys in the canteen break area etc. We do pass each others path from time to time.

Is it a shit test or general meanness - bitch? I feel quite annoyed but don't want to create a stink, still need to refute it though cos this sort of thing lowers ones rep.

She's young (about 18; I'm 30 but look 20/21...she can't possibly know my real age) and I thought this type of behavior was more inline with school aged kids.

why do you assume that comment was meant at you? what do you mean depressing? like your depressed? your depressing her?

its impossible to tell without any context. can you expand a little?

[sdnightfly]

If she's well-liked, everyone is going to be on her side.

At your age- I would discuss this with her supervisor because she needs to be told that's unacceptable. But if she doesn't care about the job, she's just going to keep making comments.

I'd start calling her "Kid". You can't let an 18 year old who's used to being openly judgmental bother you. She does need to be put in her place, but that's what managers are for. Just make it "hey, she keeps making this silly comments whenever she passes by, can you have a talk with her?"

If they ask what, just say "it's just silly stuff but I think someone needs to talk to her because it's not appropriate while she's at work. If she's on break, not a big deal."

It would be good if there's a female supervisor or someone that she respects that would be the one to tell her. She might figure out it's you, but it might get through to her better if it's another woman.

I work in a store, have done for 9 months. I keep a low profile at work and just do my work. Well, I was walking through the warehouse area and this hot female employee (9/10) said "he's so gay" as I walked by. She was standing with another member of staff (male) at the time. It was said in a mean, dismissive tone, not jokingly. She also said the word "depressing" aimed at me a few weeks before the gay comment.

I don't know her, never spoken to her... she's on a different department. She does talk/socialize with varies guys in the canteen break area etc. We do pass each others path from time to time.

Is it a shit test or general meanness - bitch? I feel quite annoyed but don't want to create a stink, still need to refute it though cos this sort of thing lowers ones rep.

She's young (about 18; I'm 30 but look 20/21...she can't possibly know my real age) and I thought this type of behavior was more inline with school aged kids.

[Ratae]

I know it was at me because I was the only there when I walked by them. I heard it from 25ft away (it was said out allowed) I turned round and they were looking at me.

The same scenario with the "depressing" comment - this was at about 15ft. I don't know what she means by "depressing"? Is it because I might seem quite quiet and don't chase/chat-up the women there? Not like it should be that way anyway. But that's what i think: she see's me as a zombie-type guy that seems down? I don't think I'm depressing her, why would I be? I think she meant depressing character / sad.

The depressing comment was said 3 weeks before the gay comment.