25 Point Checklist of things NOT to do
25 Point Checklist of things NOT to do (TD)
Taught a few hundred guys by now just from meeting guys through PAIR and in
workshops recently, and this is the shit that ups their game instantly with
no tactics or anything. I see this shit ALL THE TIME. It's the BIGGEST and
most COMMON problem I see after everyone I've met. This is some of the main
shit I focus on fixing when I'm in the field.
Almost EVERYONE I met so far screws up this shit, and it totally fucks up
If you do this, don't feel bad. 99% of guys I meet do it to various extents
This is the extension of the "10 alpha qualities" post, which was when I was
first figuring out what this shit meant. Back then, I was just posting
observations. This post contains conclusions, having now thought about it.
ERADICATE this shit, and your game will go up B-I-G-T-I-M-E, more than ANY
tactics will help you. This is part of what's called being a "natural". Even
with nothing else, if you know this stuff you'll do well socially, and
probably get laid. This stuff is the KEY.
This stuff is only for people who play the REAL game, not the INTERNET
ARMCHAIR GAME. So guys who don't actually PLAY can skip this, because
there's not much theory in it - its directly applicable.
1) FIDGETY MOVEMENTS AND TIGHT SHOULDERS AND TAKING YOURSELF TOO SERIOUSLY OR BEING TOO BUSINESSLIKE OR "SOPHISTICATED" (not laughing or being relaxed) = very visible subconsious (or conscious) self-doubt, overcompensating through non-relaxed state, where you're prepared to deal with anything that could happen. Ever met someone who doesn't blink when you talk to them?
2) TALKING TOO FAST = worried that people will stop listening to you unless
you get out something that will interest them before they leave
3) LAUGHING AT YOUR OWN JOKES = covering up that you aren't affected that
others didn't laugh, and social nervousness
4) SAYING "RIGHT" OR "YOU KNOW" AFTER STATEMENTS = seeking validation that what you said was true, or saying it because others aren't
5) STANDING WITH LEGS NOT HALF A METER APART AT LEAST = worried that you'll infringe on other people's personal space
6) TALKING TOO SOFTLY OR LOUD = fear that you'll impose yourself on people
and their personal space(ie: beta).. alpha males aren't afraid to project
their voice.. YET, talking obviously too LOUD can also be seen as
OVERCOMPENSATING. Just like guys who wear GENERIC clothes are trying to fit
in, or guys who wear OUTRAGEOUS clothes are trying too hard to
overcompensate. (hint: be careful with peacocking, find a style that doesn't
come off this way, which can be tricky but is still very doable).. Some guys
don't talk, some talk too much, etc etc.. Find appropriate balance through
trial and error, which is determined through social observation,
7) MOVING YOUR HANDS AROUND WHILE YOU TALK = trying to keep the attention of the group (sometimes can be cool, but most often a form of qualifying
8) LEANING IN *or* 'PECKING' = too eager to talk.. NEVER lean in no matter
how loud the environment is MAKE HER LEAN IN or just leave but NEVER lean in
or "peck" as its also called.
9) FACING BODY/FEET TOWARDS HER BEFORE SHE EARNED IT = trying to gain rapport with her too eagerly.
10) CHASING WHEN SHE WALKS AWAY = hoping she'll listen. If a chick moves
away from you, move your bodylanguage MORE away from her, so she'll be drawn
back.. don't CHASE her... WTF?!@?!?
11) NOT WITHDRAWING (backturns, etc) WHEN SHE DOES SOMETHING THAT YOU WOULDN'T TOLERATE FROM AN UGLY GIRL OR A GUY = trying too hard to pick her up
12) ANSWERING QUESTIONS TOO QUICKLY/EARLY = too much interest in the
13) TURNING YOUR HEAD (OR "SNAPPING") WHEN YOU'RE ADDRESSED = too eager to be in convo.. so if your head is facing the other direction, and a girl says
something to you, turn it SLOWLY to her, don't snap it out of eagerness to hear her
14) GOING BACK TO A PRIOR THREAD THAT WAS INTERUPTED AT THE FIRST CHANCE/BREAK-IN-CONVO THAT YOU GET = trying too hard to impress them.. (ie: when a thread gets broken off in the convo, and you go back to it FIRST
chance you get when the other topic ends, you look like you were WAITING to
get back to it.. WHY are you so eager to get back on it, unless you don't
feel comfortable around the person and you need to qualify yourself to
them?) WAIT until THEY say "what was that you were saying before?", and THEN
go back to it.. if it doesn't happen, *DROP IT* even if it was good.