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Farmer's Direct Game Q&A

Discuss Farmer's Direct Game Q&A at the Misc within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; I can open, and number close at times (i still have AA though). The problem ...

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  1. #31
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    I can open, and number close at times (i still have AA though). The problem with me is that I am too nice... I know this is a problem with my inner game and I'm trying to change it, but I constantly come out as the "nice guy" who is not confident enough.

    I was told by a female friend to be more aggressive and demonstrate sexual appeal, but i have no idea how to do this. In Day game it only seems right to be "nice" since it's a more calm and genuine interaction. Do you have any suggestions?



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    Spinstorm is offline Certified Live Training Graduate Lounge Member
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    Not that this needs to be said but I know Farmer and he is amazing at what he does.

    Listen to everything he says as this is a goldmine just as Soul said as well

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    If a girl tells you that she has a boyfriend, should you just move on? Or should you say something like "oh, how nice" and then just keep on talking? Should you treat it as a ST?

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    Farmer!! hey man, just to let u know i got 2 approaches done (hardly much, but a big step for me and i wanna thank u for givin me the motivation. cheers buddy!

    So now to the question, what do u think of semi direct openers? as i stated in my journal, though i have good body language when i walk around, but in one of my approaches i think i may have come on too strong with the body language, leading to an inevitable 'polite rejection'. and to those newbies who havent approached yet (like myself a couple weeks ago) trust me the rejection doesnt sting even a bit as how u would imagine it stings.

    Anyways to the question again..semi direct. I suggested it to my buddy who was with me and he pulled it off well. amazing. here is an example:

    Me: Excuse me, Hi.. do u know where the nearest tube station/starbucks/park/theatre is?

    She: yeah its..bla bla.. (or 'No, i dont sorry')

    Me: Ok thats cool...well yeah i dont really care about where it is, i just saw u walking by and wanted tot alk to u coz i think u look fucking cute/stunning.

    She: 'oh Zod, do me now!!'


    Anyways what do u think of it? i feel that when u ask for directions, while she is replying or whatever, u can conciously correct ur body language and voice tonality, etc. And after she replies, hit the compliment. Also, it serves as a litmus test in a way. If the girl seems rude/unresponsive when giving u directions, then dont bother with the compliments. On the other hand, if they seem nice then compliment them. I think that since they are already standing there talking to u, and are nice people, the compliment would go down smoothly. what do u think?

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    great thread!

    farmer, any advice for people approaching in small towns ? i often find myself hesitating when in my home town (pretty small, regulary see the same people out and about). i know this is probably some weak self limitation shit, but it kinda holds be back from approaching. on the flip, when i'm down in london, or elsewhere i'm really in the zone.

    any thoughts ?

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    Girls heading in the opposite direction

    Wsup Farmer>How do u suggest going about direct approaches where you and the target are heading in opposite directions for instance, at a park and you obviously have no time to go into comfort or rapport bcoz either one of you could be ina hurry.Im guessin you have about a minute to close the deal.How would you go about this.

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    Farmer is offline Apprentice Instructor
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    These answer all questions up to Tonytouch's:

    Quote Originally Posted by dealz View Post
    ive been doing my day2s at coffee shops and then day3s back to my place... but i guess meeting up at the bar is better.
    Yeah, the quicker you two are sharing some drinks together the better. It's difficult to progress anywhere over coffee.


    Quote Originally Posted by dealz View Post
    how long did it take you in doing daygame to get to the level where you go on dates and lay the girls on day2s or same day. what pushed you to keep going after countless rejections?
    To get to that level took me 1 year of going out almost every day, and every weekend. I would approach on my way to work and college, and then spend all weekend out on the streets. I had some successes during this time, but to do it consistently took that amount of time. It was very very hard. But I pushed myelf through it because I had a clear goal (meeting women anywhere and haing a good chance of forming a rewarding relationship with them) and a I knew that there were guys like Soul out there who were doing it - so I knew it must be possible. I just had to make it work for me. I tried not to take the rejection personally, but as learning experiences which showed me where I still had to improve. As long as you keep moving forward, no matter how slowly, all the little improvements add up to a huge difference.

    Finally, I'm still improving. There are still things which I could do better. I never like to be complacement, I enjoy stepping out of my comfort zone to grow as a person.

    Quote Originally Posted by nicky View Post
    When you go direct in nightgame and you disqualify yourself, are you doing so in a teasing fashion with a cheeky smile on your face or are you disqualifying yourself seriously?

    I usually say, "We'd never get along - we'd be fighting all the time." or "You're too much of a good girl for me."

    Now if I say the above jokingly it will come across as a tease...but if I say it as if I really seroiusly mean it then it will spike her emotions (and she might quailfy herself), right? How should it be done?
    If you said the above lines while being serious, they will be actual disqualifiers which will make her like you less. The way I do it is to say that kind of thing with a smirk and in an obvious way to show I don't really mean it - but the fact that I said it still makes her a little worried that I might actually mean it. In short - I push her away with my words but pull her in with my body language, touch and smile. In my opinion, disqualifiers like this should always be delivered in a smirky way.

    If you want to do it seriously, then make sure you make her aware that you're not serious very soon after, otherwise she'll believe you.

    Quote Originally Posted by Marbles12 View Post
    The problem with me is that I am too nice... I know this is a problem with my inner game and I'm trying to change it, but I constantly come out as the "nice guy" who is not confident enough.

    I was told by a female friend to be more aggressive and demonstrate sexual appeal, but i have no idea how to do this. In Day game it only seems right to be "nice" since it's a more calm and genuine interaction. Do you have any suggestions?
    Your femal friend is right - you do need to demonstrate sexual appeal. This is something I struggled with a great deal at first too. I'll be writing a proper post about it soon, but for now there are some things that will help you a great deal

    • Listen to the No More Mr Nice Guy interview with 5.0 and Sheriff. There is a real difference between being the nice guy who buys her flowers and buys her dinner and generally supplicates to her every want, and a nice guy who opens doors for people but is dominant and doesn't take people's shit. The last is very attractive.
    • You can say normal and polite things while still being sexual. To be truly honest, the way I do it is, when I am talking to her, imagine that I am bending her over the table and doing her right there. If you feel that yourself, she will feel it and you will project a very sexual presence, while still talking about the weather. It's difficult to describe on paper, but trust me, it works.
    • Work out what your boundaries are and don't let people cross them. The nice guy let's people get away with treating him badly because he wants everyone to like him. You waste a lot of your life by trying to make people like you.
    • It's perfectly fine to be gentlemanly during daygame, it's very romantic. But the difference between being an attractive gentleman and a nice one, is that you need to be dominant - lead the interaction, lead her logistically and have the balls to escalate, ie. by taking her number, asking her out etc. Nice guys don't have the balls to do any of that stuff.

      Summary - being an attractive and sexual guy while still being nice is very doable and is my exact style of game; what you say doesn't change, you just need to cultivate your dominant side.


    Quote Originally Posted by Zakthos View Post
    If a girl tells you that she has a boyfriend, should you just move on? Or should you say something like "oh, how nice" and then just keep on talking? Should you treat it as a ST?
    A moral question this. During daygame I never treat it as a shit test. You can generally believe everything she tells you during the day. In this case I will say "oh, cool, what does he do?" then ignore the reply and keep going - BUT my aim is NOT to pick her up after this. I still want to have a good interaction that she enjoys, so I will shoot the shit for a minute longer before excusing myself. I'm not in the business of breaking up relationships. Plus, it's much more worth your time and effort to go and approach another girl than to try to get this one to break up with her boyfriend. It's much easier to find another girl who is single, than spending days and lots of texts getting her to come out with you.

    During nightgame I treat it as a shit test and just ignore it completely. Act as if she just told you she has a washing machine. You'll know soon enough if it's a real objection once you start escalating physically and logistically.

    Quote Originally Posted by zodiacprince View Post
    Farmer!! hey man, just to let u know i got 2 approaches done (hardly much, but a big step for me and i wanna thank u for givin me the motivation. cheers buddy!
    Good job man! It's a great feeling isn't it? If you remember that you'll always have this feeling after choosing to approach you'll do fine and your AA will reduce.

    Quote Originally Posted by zodiacprince View Post
    So now to the question, what do u think of semi direct openers?

    Anyways to the question again..semi direct. I suggested it to my buddy who was with me and he pulled it off well. amazing. here is an example:

    Me: Excuse me, Hi.. do u know where the nearest tube station/starbucks/park/theatre is?

    She: yeah its..bla bla.. (or 'No, i dont sorry')

    Me: Ok thats cool...well yeah i dont really care about where it is, i just saw u walking by and wanted tot alk to u coz i think u look fucking cute/stunning.

    She: 'oh Zod, do me now!!'

    i feel that when u ask for directions, while she is replying or whatever, u can conciously correct ur body language and voice tonality, etc. And after she replies, hit the compliment.

    Also, it serves as a litmus test in a way. If the girl seems rude/unresponsive when giving u directions, then dont bother with the compliments. On the other hand, if they seem nice then compliment them. I think that since they are already standing there talking to u, and are nice people, the compliment would go down smoothly. what do u think?
    Well, let me say first off that you've done 2 approaches. Although this is a huge step, 2 approaches aren't enough to form an impression of what works and doesn't work. If something doesn't seem to work, do it again twenty times, then see if it works.

    To answer you questions, I think this kind of opener should be used during daygame only if you cannot make a direct approach work after 200 or more approaches. If you really, truly, cannot make the direct approach work after this many approaches, then try this.

    In my opinion it is quite a weak opener because it conveys that you didn't have the confidence to go direct in the first place. If you need help correcting your body language and tonality, then do it 10 times to your wing, and then approach 3 practice sets. Your body language will be perfect - now go and approach.

    I understand where you're coming from when you say you should only pursue the direct compliment after she is nice by giving directions - but this is a hole in your inner game. I've probably done over 3000 approaches. And in this time I've realised that girls who are not nice to you at first warm up after half a minute, and I've realised that girls who seem really nice shoot you down in a heartbeat. And vice versa. My point is that you don't want to second guess yourself - just because you think she seems nasty does not mean you shouldn't express your interest in her: you don't need her approval for conveying your interest.

    I get the feeling that you want to go down this route because it seems easier and you're looking for the easy way out. TRUST ME, you can make direct approach work. It's too early in your daygame career, 2 approaches, to start trying to guess who will and who won't like your direct approach.

    Quote Originally Posted by elmore View Post
    great thread!

    farmer, any advice for people approaching in small towns ? i often find myself hesitating when in my home town (pretty small, regulary see the same people out and about). i know this is probably some weak self limitation shit, but it kinda holds be back from approaching. on the flip, when i'm down in london, or elsewhere i'm really in the zone.

    any thoughts ?
    I've never lived in a small town, but I would imagine that if you do really see the same people every time you go out, then a: you won't be able to get a lot of practice done before you've approached everyone and b: because at first you'll be miscalibrated then you might get a reputation for being that pickup guy.

    I would keep travelling to London to practice. Treat your home town like your social circle for the meanwhile. Don't go direct until you know you can pull it off without awkwardness. Get the volume practicing done outside, then go direct in your town once your polished. That way you don't go direct on everyone and there's no one left.

    Quote Originally Posted by tonytouch View Post
    Wsup Farmer>How do u suggest going about direct approaches where you and the target are heading in opposite directions for instance, at a park and you obviously have no time to go into comfort or rapport bcoz either one of you could be ina hurry.Im guessin you have about a minute to close the deal.How would you go about this.
    90% of the girls I approach during the day are moving in opposite directions. It has proven to be one of the most effective ways of doing it. Let her walk past, then turn around, tap her arm and deliver your opener.

    You say that you obviously don't have time to go into comfort or rapport - but how do you know she's in a rush?? You don't know unless you approach her and ask her.

    Dude, I've been talking to girls and they've missed their bus or been 20 minutes late meeting their friends. If you approach well, you can take them out of their logical head and engage their emotional brain that tells them to stay and talk to this interesting and charming stranger.

    But if she tells you she's in a rush, then acknowledge it, say you are too and that you can only stay for a few minutes, and proceed as normal. If you approached well with good body language, then you will have done everything you can to make her stop for a short while. If she truly, really, absolutely is in a rush then logistically there's not much you can do about it.

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    Could you give some more information on how you set up your day2s?

    You mentioned that you always try setting up a date while in set and only take a number after its set up. Do you always suggest meeting for a drink at night or do you set up other types of dates too?

    When you meet for the drink or whatever the date is, do you try to venue change a lot and how do you get her back to your place? How long do you wait before going for the kiss?

    Do you consistently close on day2, or does it take longer? Aren't there a lot of women who simply won't sleep with a guy on a first date no matter what? Do you encounter these or are you able to power through it?

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    Farmer, this is an irl problem!

    It's about a girl in my clas, I am 18 and she is 17.

    She is really nice and honest to everyone so it's hard to tell what is and what isn't a sign of interest. Well anyway, she has told me that she is to restles for LTR and that she have a FF and thinks that FF is much better.

    Well, we have been in the same class for 1,5 year. But never really hang out after school.

    Sometimes she seems interested and as if we have a connection, but sometimes she doesn't seem interested at.

    Since I don't wana come of as I want a relationship I can't really ask her on a date now, can I? And she is a bit to popular for me to be honest. The boys she fuck is often a few years older. I don't wana get stuck in friendzone or come of as if I want a LTR. So what to do?

    I know this mabye is a bit off topic, but hey man, you are a pro, please help me!

  10. #40
    nicky is offline Certified Live Training Graduate Lounge Member
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    Farmer, how do you deal with sets in daygame that body-rock and look like they want to walk away cos they're shy/embarassed or they simply just wanted to hear your compliment and leave?

    I've used, (smiling/exaggerating) "Don't walk away or you'll make me sad! I plucked up so much courage to meet you!" It kinda works-ish.

    Also there's Sasha's, "How can you walk away when I have just fallen in love?" Haven't tried it yet.

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