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Farmer's Direct Game Q&A

Discuss Farmer's Direct Game Q&A at the Misc within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Originally Posted by Farmer Yes. It is a basic social gesture. Plus it conveys the ...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Farmer View Post
    Yes. It is a basic social gesture. Plus it conveys the fact that you two are about to enter a conversation, plus it starts the physical touching early on.

    Ask her name, introduce yourself, stick out your hand.

    [Unless you're where I am at the moment, in which case 2 kisses on each cheek are standard - lovely!]
    Okay, I thought so. I will continue to do it. A part of me thought it might feel a little like a business transaction for some reason.

    Plus it opens the door to the hand shake routine if you want to go that route.



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    If you are going Direct and you two exchange names. Instead of shaking, you kiss her on the hand,would that be creepy, or would that be romantic and she would like that?

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    Regrett is offline Certified Live Training Graduate Lounge Member
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    This is from my experience in direct day game, ive realised that girls are more likely to stop and stop more quickly if you pre open with excuse me, a split second before touching them on the arm, rather than the other way around. See what works for you.

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    Farmer is offline Apprentice Instructor
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    Quote Originally Posted by DMC007 View Post
    If you are going Direct and you two exchange names. Instead of shaking, you kiss her on the hand,would that be creepy, or would that be romantic and she would like that?
    I have never tried it, but I imagine it would probably not have the romantic vibe you're looking for. If you can pull it off with humour, ie. making it playful, or if you are a French aristocrat, it might work. Go out and try it, but this is such a small part of the overall interaction, and kssing her hand instead of shaking is likely to get you rejected more often the just shaking.

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    Quick topic this time:

    Is it a good or bad idea to make comments to a girl along the lines of, "You like me", "You're so nervous around me, it's cute", "You're really attracted to me", "You can't stop thinking about me", etc.?

    For a playful example, after a tease...
    Girl: "You're so mean!"
    Guy: "Oh definitely, but you like me this way!"

    Are comments like these fine to say either jokingly or seriously? Or are they best avoided altogether?

    I've heard different views on this over the past few months; some say that mentioning how stating/implying that she's really attracted to you will make her like you LESS, while others say the opposite. What do you think? Do you ever use teases/half-serious comments like these? (Maybe not in the initial meeting, but later on too.)

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    How do you keep the girl grounded after the opener? This is what happened to me today:

    Me: (Approaching from behind) Excuse me, you are absolutely adorable and I just had to meet you. My name is Poder. What is your name?
    Girl: That is really sweet. My name is Girl.
    Me: So what are you up to today?
    Girl: I am meeting a friend for dinner. That was a nice compliment, take care (Girl walks away).

    How would you approach a mother and daughter set, if you were interested in the daughter?

    How would you approach a mixed set, whether they be walking in the street or sitting in a mall cafeteria eating lunch?

    How would you use a direct opener when you are riding on a bus/train and see a girl you want to talk to? For one scenario, assume that the bus/train is crowded and you are sitting right next to her. For the other scenario, assume the bus/train doesn't have that many people on it .

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    Regrett is offline Certified Live Training Graduate Lounge Member
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    Ive heard that throwing out a large qualifier and her putting any decent effort in answering it, signals that you're into comfort, which i guess is ideally the stage that i want to be before getting a number.

    How would you set up a hard qualifier, something like tell me something cool about yourself?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Farmer View Post
    I have never tried it, but I imagine it would probably not have the romantic vibe you're looking for. If you can pull it off with humour, ie. making it playful, or if you are a French aristocrat, it might work. Go out and try it, but this is such a small part of the overall interaction, and kssing her hand instead of shaking is likely to get you rejected more often the just shaking.
    As a French aristocrat I can say even for me it doesn't work in general just go for the classic hand shake, the mere fact of kissing her (anywhere) might just work as a state break in the first minutes, but oh well give it a try, you learn stuff by trying

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    cant seem to find the edit button, but i was just watching Rsd's Flawless natural, and he uses what he calls 'pounding of passion' which is basically in the middle of a conversation, that isnt really going anywhere, he says something along the lines of 'wait wait wait' and then fires out 5 random questions... like whats your favourite colour, have you ever been fired, dogs or cats, that kind of thing.

    He does it in a breaking rapport fashion and i guess that serves as a way to spike the energy and her 'buying temperature'. Whats your take on using this for day game? esp as a way of qualifying?

    Also on an unrelated note, do you know when the interview with vercetti on tonality comes out?

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    Hey there! I have a few more questions for you before you wrap up this awesome thread. After our phone conversation today, I felt fantastic so I went out and did some approaches which went really well. Whilst driving around, I thought of a couple more things that I wanted to know.


    1. Being nonreactive

    We talked briefly about this over the phone, and you noted that being nonreactive was very important.

    A: Should I be nonreactive only to responses/actions/whatever that I do NOT like? Or should I be generally nonreactive any time that I am not specifically complimenting a girl?

    B: How exactly do you go about being "nonreactive"? Can you describe how it looks/feels?

    C: Let's say that a woman you know at least somewhat (as opposed to in a first meeting), either through Social Circle or perhaps even the one you're dating, acts moody, unhappy, bored, disinterested, angry, or whatever. How do you be nonreactive in this situation? Or...should you be nonreactive in the first place (for example, if the cause doesn't appear to be YOU, and she's just tired or having a bad day, do you try to do anything to make her feel better, or just ignore her mood)?


    2. Finding attractive, single women

    The major benefit to Day Game is that we have the possibility to meet attractive women anytime, anywhere.

    Unfortunately, there are two problems, for me at least.

    One is that nearly all of the attractive women I meet during the day say that they already have boyfriends. This is likely true; down here where I live, many young women meet their long-term boyfriends in high school and continue dating the same guy into their early 20s in a lot of cases. Plus, as you've said earlier in this thread, when a woman says that she has a boyfriend during the day...she very likely does.

    I know I've asked you something similar before, but just to be solid on this: if I approach a woman during the day, and she says that she has a boyfriend, my best course of action is to find someone else, BUT be sure to wrap up the conversation politely and confidently. How do you go about doing this? When a woman during the day (or...hey, in your social circle too, while we're at it) says, "Oh, but I have a boyfriend", "Sorry, but I'm dating someone right now", or something similar---what is your immediate response, and how do you transition away from this?

    The second problem I'm having is that while I do have the opportunity to meet attractive women---and hopefully meet one that is single!---I spend an awful lot of time going to and fro and seeing absolutely no women who spark my interest. No offense to any of the wonderful ladies down here, but many are just not the sort that I find attractive (I'm really into classy, stylish, cheerful women about my age---especially any with long, red hair and green eyes! ). For the time being, I'm in a small-ish area...I'm not sure where most of the "Wow!" girls are hiding.

    So---with all that in mind---what are some of the best kinds of locations you've found to meet attractive, single women? (Especially those who you decided could be potential long-term girlfriends!)


    3. Stupid hand games

    I told you about my retarded, brain-turned-off experiment with the "oh wow, let's see how long your fingers are compared to mine!" thing... Which went okay-ish, I guess, until the second girl pointed out, and rightly so, that the whole thing was, quote, "weird".

    I still have no idea what I was thinking when I started that (...I wasn't). Or even what I was imagining that would accomplish. It just seemed a good idea at the time, and I DID want to see how long her fingers were out of pure curiosity. But that's so darn bizarre; don't think I'll be doing that again. Like, ever.

    Yeaaaah...so, as far as fun, silly games (routines?) go for social circle, day game, and even direct approaches anywhere, what are your favourites? Do you have any suggestions which I could try out? (I have the two Routine Manuals too, so I can check page numbers if you know of any specifically that are in those books, as well.) You know, the kind that actually WORK as opposed to making girls think that I'm incredibly strange, like above! Any that spark a little bit of physical touching would be absolutely perfect, because that would essentially let me practice physical escalation at the same time!

    Another thing would be the kinds of playful, silly behaviour/touching that you talked about on the phone in regards to FUN social circle situations. (For example, with the girl you advised that I be flirty, fun, and lightly physical with without going too far---enough so that she doesn't keep me "friend zoned" yet not so much that it seems like I'm stealing her from her boyfriend.) What kinds of moves, touches, games, and so on would you recommend specifically? I should've asked this when we were chatting, but I guess it slipped my mind.


    4. Silence!

    Let's say that I'm off doing a "social circle" activity, maybe with a group of friends, or maybe I've just met a girl through social circle activities and we're alone together for a bit.

    Or, let's say that I'm on a date.

    For some reason---maybe we just have nothing to say at the moment, maybe we're lost in thought, maybe we just don't know WHAT to say---there may come a few moments of silence...or a few minutes...or a lot of minutes...while we're focused on doing whatever else.

    Is that silence okay? If silence should be avoided at all costs, does this go back to what you were saying to me on the phone about not needing to make "logical" connections between things in conversation with a girl, and should I simply bring up anything that comes to my mind to break the silence? Do you have any specific tips about silence?


    5. Body language

    On the phone, you commented that my voice, tonality, and speaking speed were good (thanks!). Your tips on body language were helpful too, but of course we couldn't see each other to judge specifics on body language. Maybe Love Systems needs to start video consultations...! Hey! There's an idea for you guys! (I demand 90% of the profits for, uh, coming up with this idea, you know.)

    Until I can take the Day Game Workshop, do you know of any great resources, videos, forum threads, ANYTHING that I could check out for body language, so I can self-practice and self-judge? I don't think my body language is terrible, but I'm sure there are things I could do better. Hey, I just had to catch myself to stop slouching in my office chair right now.

    How did you improve your own body language when you were learning how to become a super-suave James Bond?


    6. Turning things sexual

    I noticed that there is an audio interview, "Turning Things Sexual". I'll likely buy it soon, because it appears to cover how to avoid the Friend Zone, which is what I need to do! I'd like to know how you keep a sexual edge going without overdoing it---either in social circle or day game. How do you do it, and do you have some more good tips on this?



    By the way, since you've given me so much great advice, I must reciprocate. You know how I was saying that you need to change your last name to avoid being confused with all of the other Farmers out there?

    Get this: "Starpuppy". "Josh Starpuppy".

    There you go. Truly unique now! You can thank me later!

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