Spotlight on ‘Sickboy007’ 9/21/03
SB: …I just got into the game in June. I came to a meeting just like this. I had pretty much zero real field experience before. I was just reading posts on ASF. TD invited me two weeks later down to Miami to a workshop down there. We set it up to hang out the rest of the summer…Montreal, London, Amsterdam, Spain. 10 days, straight sarging…8PM to 6AM. When you spend all this time in the field, you start to notice things. Your intuition tells you what’s going to happen before it happens. Basically, what I came here to talk about is all that field experience and all those days sarging this summer. Unless you’re really in the field, all the time, noticing what’s going on, looking for certain things, you’re just not going to get better. That’s why I want to encourage you guys to get out in the field. Fuck up a bunch of sets. You’ll just learn so much from that.
Inner game
You guys are into Speed Seduction, Ross Jeffries, Major Mark…most of what they focus on is inner game, confidence. That might work for some of you. I never really got into it. I always went along with what Mystery says. If you want to get over approach anxiety, if you want to get confidence, just do it. Go out by yourself. Go out to a club all the way uptown or downtown. People aren’t going to see you again. Just crash and burn a few sets. It happens all the time. I still get blown out hard. I go to the clubs, like the Bowery Bar. You get these JAPpy girls. These girls will cut you down hard. You want to just put yourself out there, get shot down. You know what these girls look like. They look like a million dollars. Just approach them. Get blown out. It’s funny. Go with a wingman. Play a game. See who can get blown out the most. See who can do the most sets. By the end of it you guys will have the funniest stories. You’re laughing now. That’s what it’s going to be like. It happened to me when I first started all the time. I’d approach these sets and get cut down hard. It’s bad for about two seconds afterward, but you laugh about it…and with your wingman. It’s funny and no one says anything. It’s not a big deal. I think it’s a real confidence builder. Just going out there, getting shot down, realizing what it’s like. It’s not that bad. More often than not, you go with that mindset (have fun) and sets will open up. Holy shit. Just by getting that initial contact within minutes you will feel so great about yourself. You went out. You did it. You got your foot in the door. Half of this stuff is just getting your foot in the door, especially with these high status NY women. Once you get your foot in the door, it’s not that hard. What I realize from traveling all over, talking to all these different types of women…English, Dutch, Spanish Italian, Canadian…what’s different about the NY scene is that to get your foot in the door is harder than anywhere else. You go around NYC and how many times a day does someone try to sell you something on the street, stop you for change. So women are walking around NY with their shields up. Even when you go into a club…NY is a hyper glamorous city. You got all these modeling agencies, all these wannabe actresses, all these beautiful people. Everyone constantly wants something. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO BE DIFFERENT? That’s how you have to be to get your foot in the door. Once you get that shield down, it’s a lot easier than any other city in the world. To give you a good example, when we were in Amsterdam, girls were really nice. It’s a smaller city. It doesn’t have a lot of that status that NY has. When you approach, women are very receptive to it. They just see someone’s talking. They don’t have shields up. The problem with that is, once you get later and later, where does it go from talking and having a friendly conversation, into the seduction phase. You can get lost in that. In NY, I don’t find that as much. In the first two minutes you’re in, you’re in and proceeding from there is a lot easier than other places.
Indirect/Direct
SB: There’s been a lot of debate on indirect game versus direct game, what’s better. The truth is they both work. Guys have been getting laid forever using all types of methods, lines, and techniques. ‘Direct’ is more of an approach where you state your attentions. You’re basically hitting on the girl. She knows from your approach what’s going on, what you’re there for. ‘Indirect’ is when your approach is ambiguous. Are you hitting on her or not? She doesn’t know. You’re kind of conveying this aloofness at the same time you’re conveying active disinterest. Indirect approaching is making her work toward getting you to (take interest). Indirect is not showing interest until later on when she’s earned it. We (me, Papa, Tyler, Mystery) favor indirect approach because that’s going to get you the most consistent results. I’m not saying direct approach doesn’t work, but it’s not going to work the highest percentage of time with the hottest chicks. We’re interested in only 9s and 10s. I’ve successfully sarged NYC models and pulled the hottest chicks from clubs. The reason most guys get blown out is because they’re conveying that they want something. The second the girl picks up that you want something you’re blown out, unless she’s into it….As soon as you get an IOI or SOI (indicator of interest, statement of intent) whether you’re using body language, speech, anything like that, the second she realizes you want something she’s going to decide right then and there, “should I go with this or not?� Most of the time if it’s too early on and you didn’t convey enough personality she’s going to say no. I’m at the point where I’d say in almost 95% of sets I will not get blown out. As long as I stay in the set talking, girls will stay there. You just don’t get blown out, you can’t, because you’re not conveying so much interest and you don’t want something. You’re not presenting the opportunity for them to blow you out. More often than not I flake out on chicks and just walk away. I’m at the point where if a good-looking chick is into me, I’m not just going to go based on that. It’s going to have to be more than just looks; she’s going to have to convey personality. That’s what I’m screening for. So, with the indirect approach it’s more or less you screening the girl. With the direct approach, she’s screening you because she knows what’s going on with the game. So you’re going to have to keep proving yourself to stay in that set so she won’t blow you out so she chooses you. With indirect, you’re choosing the girl, you’re making her earn it, you’re qualifying her, she’s qualifying herself to you. You’re using punishment/reward. By the end of the time, she’s going to do a lot of things that are going to make her earn it. She’s going to work hard. She knows that. She knows she’s working for it and she’s going to appreciate it even more. You’ll get better results that way.
PUA: Doesn’t that also work with your whole theory that you have to be different in NY, and if you’re indirect that you’re different?
SB: It’s being VERY different. Look at these guys who get blown out. Look what they’re doing. They’re leaning in, touching, complimenting…be different, be a different guy. I’ll show you guys some openers, how we open. It’s different. The girls haven’t had it before. It’s almost like you’re insulting (?) them too, because you’re coming up to them and just talking, using body language that’s conveying non-interest. Right from the opener you’re getting them trying to earn it, have them qualify themselves to you. Yes, it’s completely different.
It’s basically taking all the power away from them. The ball is in your court. I know a lot of you guys have heard “be a man, don’t apologize for your desires, let them know what you want, claim what’s yours, tell chicks to get with the program,� stuff like that. That’s okay, too. It’s a lot of that tough guy rhetoric. But even with the indirect approach, a lot of guys criticize it. “You’re not making your intentions known, how are girls going to know you’re sexual?� Trust me. With indirect, all the power is yours. You can be sexual when you want. There’s a place for that. You will make your desires known, but at the right time.

Shit Testing
You guys know about that stuff, right? “Why you talking to me? Nice shirt, real gay. Where are your friends? Why you talking to us?� It’s good because it gives you a chance to display your personality and really take control of the situation, let the girl know you’re for real. I’ll shit test them, too. Your’re always going to get shit tests. Shit tests come in all forms. Have you guys ever had a girl end up hitting you? We had a girl on the beach throwing sand in TD’s face. In later game she’s cuddling with him, flipping out, she didn’t know what to do. She knows she’s got all these emotions and she can’t stop it. Girls will shit test to throw themselves out of state. So if you’re at a club, and you talk to these girls and they’ll be mildly attracted at first, they’ll shit test you to see if you’re going to flake off, to see if you’re a man, to see if you can handle it. I got, “Where’s your friend?� the other day, and my friend is right behind me. The girl saw me get up from my table of friends and walk over. It’s just retarded shit. What did I say to that? Okay, it was a 3-set at a table. One of the girls was shit testing; one was really in to me from the beginning. I used social proof. I used the one that liked me against the one that was shit testing me. I turned the whole table against her. “Why did you ask me that? What kind of question is that?� I turned to the one that liked me and said, “What’s with your friend? Is she always like this? How can you guys hang out with her?�
PUA: How could you tell the girl would be on your side?
SB: You can tell. IOIs, intuition. You know when girls are into you and when they’re not.
PUA: There’s a very good book with pictures of IOIs, proximity, groups…It’s called “Secrets of Sexual Body Language.�
SB: That’s strange. From what I’ve noticed, being in the field a lot, you’ll learn to recognize IOIs like this, like this, like this (snap). There’s different levels of IOIs. It’s called ‘buying temperature.’ I’ll go through that a little later.
A lot of the things I do with the indirect approach are shit testing girls. They’ll start doing some really weird stuff. This is probably the most powerful tool I have: shit testing girls, using it against them. They don’t know how to respond. I had this one girl. I was shit testing her. She was crazy attracted to me. She had a full beer. Dumps it on my shirt. This is how fucked up girls get when they start getting attracted. They do some really weird shit. They throw themselves out of state.
PUA: How do you recover?
SB: That was a shit test. You gotta say something like, “Hey, when I said drinks are on me, I didn’t mean…�
PUA: What’d you do after that?
SB: I dragged her into the bathroom, threw her up against the wall and started making out.
PUA: Caveman…
SB: You can caveman later…Later game is great for caveman, because by that time they don’t know what to do. You just have to take control of the situation. That’s where you start being direct, where right off the bat you’ll see guys in the street caveman chicks and grab them. It just doesn’t work there. Later game…after you convey personality, qualify them, build attraction, comfort, trust. If you don’t have any trust or comfort and you start caveman…it will work sometimes on party chicks. But on the chicks we’re interested in, probably not.
(TAPE FLIP)
SB: They do shit to throw themselves out of state. How many of you guys have been in bed with chicks and you’re about to close the deal and they start acting all fucked up. They start asking you really weird questions. “What’s your real name? Where’d you go to school? Why’d you choose me? This is all stuff we’ve taken care of in later game by now.
Right off the bat, shit testing is funny. Let me put this stuff in context. All the things I’m talking about here, this is for anything over an 8.5. If you want to pick up 7s, 6s, I can talk about that, too. There’s a whole different strategy for that. You wouldn’t shit test a 6 or 7, unless they had really high self-esteem, because they’re going to be all like “I can’t believe you just said that to me (depressed).
PUA: If you’re at a bar that’s a sausage farm, like it usually is, and there’s a few girls, all 6s or 7s, but because they have 8 guys hanging over their shoulder, their self-esteem skyrockets.
SB: That’s why I don’t like to go by the looks model so much. You can find a girl who’s a 9 and have her self-esteem down low. If you shit test her or neg her, she’s walking away (head down), “I can’t believe that guy said that to me.� I was in South Beach, Miami. From across the bar, I saw this incredibly hot 9, smokin’ body, blonde hair. I approached, and I came off a little too hard. I found out she was only 16 years old, and it was one of her first times in a bar. She didn’t know how to handle that, didn’t want to talk to me. She looked really hot, older. So think of it in terms of self-esteem. Try to gauge a girl’s self-esteem. A lot of it is mood based. If the girl’s feeling really up, and you can see it too, just from how she’s interacting with her friends, she’s the center of attention, you’re going to know: high self-esteem. You’re going to know what tactics to pull out. Then you see the two girls in the club sitting in the corner, all-quiet, like they’re intimidated by the place. Even though they could be good looking, you’re not going to approach the same way you normally would, or use the same tactics, when you’re shit testing.
PUA: So you use more her emotional state in the moment than her self-esteem?
SB: Self-esteem. You can usually gauge it by talking to girls about how receptive they are to being approached. You say “Hey…�. A girl with low self-esteem will turn around, open body language right away, all attentive. If a girl does that to you, don’t shit test her, don’t neg her. She really wants to talk to you to show her body language like that. But if the girl is like (shows attitude, etc.), come out with the big guns. Shit test her, neg her, all that stuff. Knock her off that pedestal. And first, you got to get her to earn your respect, too.
Shit testing. How do I do it? I’ll give you an example of one of the openers we use. “Hey guys. I need a female opinion. Do girls think that the rock star David Bowie is hot? My little sister just got a poster of David Bowie to hang up on the wall. She’s only 16. Do you guys think he’s hot? Do you like old men? Do you think old guys are hot?!� Then you turn your back. The girls are like, “What?!� Stuff like that. Right from the beginning, start accusing them of stuff. Anything. On your approach, if they do the slightest thing…Let’s say they twirl their hair. Go, “Are you trying to pick me up? You’re twirling your hair. I know that. I know what that means. You’re not hiding anything.� Accuse them. “You’re licking your lips. I know what that is. You’re attracted to me.�

Tyler Durden has this routine. It’s a super, super good routine. We usually use this right off the opener. It is solid. You’ll see the responses you get when you do this to a 9 or 10. It’s basically a big shit test. You’ll do the opener, then they’ll say something. Then you say,
“You know what. I can’t trust you guys. Girls are predators. Girls are sexual predators. I come out to clubs, and I see all these guys trying to seduce all these women. But that’s not the case. That’s not the way it works. Guys are so dumb. They think they’re seducing the women. At the end of the day it’s women that choose. It’s the girl that chooses. Guys dangle themselves in front of the women thinking they made it happen. But all along, at the end of the day, girls choose…You know, when guys get mad at their girlfriend, they can’t just go out to a club and sleep with a random girl. It just doesn’t happen. How many guys can do that? How many guys do you think can honestly do that? Less than 3 percent. Look at these guys. Look at them. They go after all these girls. They’re complimenting, they’re leaning in, they’re touching them. That doesn’t get anyone anywhere. That’s not going to work. Some girls like it, but seriously, how many guys do you think can really do that? It’s the girls that choose. Girls go out to the clubs. They put on their push-up bra, high-heel shoes, and just walk around looking hot, choosing guys. That’s the way it is. You know what? You know why this is? It’s because girls are the only gender that has an organ designed solely for sexual pleasure. That’s why girls, when they have sex, they’re like, “oooooh, oooooh� (loud, others in the club hear you). When guys have sex, it’s like “uhhhhh “ (relief).
It’s funny. There’s more on this on a post on ASF from two weeks ago.
PUA: I think on a higher level, one of the good things about it is you’re reversing the frame…
SB: Girls ask me if I’m stealing their mannerisms, which I love to do………
PUA: …making them comfortable with things like, literally chasing you. Accusing them of showing a lot of interest in you.
SB: What it also does is it lets them know that you know that shit. When you say in the beginning, “Look at all these guys, they’re leaning, touching and complimenting…�, girls know about that stuff. The next girl you see, go up to her and ask her, “I was having a conversation with my friend. Let me see if he was right. He was telling me that girls don’t like it when guys get close, lean in and talk to them in their ear. I don’t care who it is. The girl will say, “That’s so gross. I hate that, hate that.� Some girls don’t mind. Like if you’re friends with her it’s okay. But if you’re just a random guy, coming over and leaning in like this (leaning in), really weird…Even some of my guy friends do it to me now and I’m like, “What are you doing? I can hear you.�
PUA: They shit test right away?
SB: Yes, she’ll start shit testing right away. This is for the hotter chicks.
PUA: So you’re letting them feel they’re in control, letting them think it’s the chick’s choice? Of course, not really.
SB: Every girl I’ve successfully seduced in the past month or so, has felt that she chose me. I make them feel that way. Maybe later on I’ll go through a lay report from last night from start to finish.
Steel their mannerisms. You’re taking all their shit-testing mechanisms, turning it around, and using it on them. So you’re taking all their ammo and turning it right back on them. That leaves them defenseless. They don’t know what the fuck to do.
Here’s the thing I like to do. Girl Code. This is the one of the biggest…works in every set. It is probably one of the best techniques we have. Any time you see girls and you’re talking to them and you ask them a question or anything, when they hit an emotion, a high emotion, they’ll look at each other. All the time. Call them out on it.
PUA: They’re saying (with their eyes), are we picking up the same things, are we seeing this guy the same way?
SB: Exactly. We wanted to get to the bottom of this, see exactly what was triggering this. Basically they’re looking for approval from each other, because they’re feeling the same emotions. When girls feel these emotions, they know what these are. They feel these crazy emotions and that’s actually getting them hornier when they’re feeling these different emotions. They just want approval from their friends when they’re feeling the same things. If just one of them starts feeling it she’s going to get embarrassed. So, they want to know that all the girls are feeling that same emotion. That’s why you’ll get a lot of cock blocks, because they’re not feeling the same emotions. So girls are always checking in with each other. Now that we know this, call them out on it. “I know that look. I know what that was. That was girl code. I know that.� When you’re with a wingman, you say, “We know that chick. Why don’t you just ask me a question about her.� And we just… (SB does the girl code sideways eye shift to his wing, that the wing would mirror.) They die laughing. It’s the funniest thing ever. Style has another version of it. He calls it a ‘best friends test.’ Girls do the girl code, then he goes “Are you guys best friends. I could tell. I’ll prove it to you guys. What is…your favorite shampoo?� (The girls look at each other.) See. You didn’t even answer the question and I could tell because you looked at each other. Then right after you say that, they’ll look at each other again. Then you say. “See, like that.� And they lose it. They lose it. It’s probably the most effective technique we have.
PUA: What’s the difference in girl code between this guy’s cool and let’s get outta here?
SB: Girls have girl code for everything. They can basically, have a ‘conversation,’ let each other know what’s going on, without verbally acknowledging it. One of them is like the ‘let’s get out of here’ look. They sort of roll their eyes. Or they’ll just look at each other. All you guys have seen it. So right after they do this one (sideways look?), you go, “I know another girl code, too. It’s the let’s get out of here look. But you guys didn’t do that one yet.� You just bust them on that. It lets them know you know the deal. They’ll actually appreciate this shit, because most guys don’t understand this. It builds a certain level of comfort as well. What girls do too is when the set is going really well and they’re feeling all these emotions, they’ll hold hands. They won’t even realize they’re doing it. Like this, standing right next to each other holding hands. And you’ll see them pump, as soon as one of them feels a strong emotion. That’s how they signal to each other that it’s going well. It’s really weird. Sometimes you might be working with a wingman and you steal (?) the set, let’s say the girls have their back turned like this, they’ll still have their hands down here pumping like this, letting each other know that it’s going really well. The second one of them breaks it like that (pulling away sharply), the other one will go and both you guys will be blown out of the set.

PUA: (Question about shit testing, girl code – indiscernible)
SB: You’re picking up on that. All the sub-communication stuff. And you’re responding in a playful way, not like you’re picking her up. “I know that. I have a little sister. She told me about that.� If you do it playful enough, it’s fun.
PUA: Do you turn away after you’ve said it?
SB: I should give you guys a demonstration of my body language, because my body language is really unique. In the first five minutes, it looks like I’m going to walk away. The whole time I’m there. It puts people on edge. It’s a combination of stuff I’ve seen Mystery do, and Tyler Durden. If you’ve ever seen Mystery open a set, it looks like he’s going to walk away. You just fear that he’s going to walk away and not finish his story.
PUA: Can you give a good example…what kind of story or opener would you use where you’d do this?
SB: Anything. Let me finish up stealing mannerisms first….Okay, you can In later game…one of my favorite lines I used to get laid with once…Things started getting really hot and heavy with this girl in a club. I knew it was on. I could have just banged her right there. I realized I had to deal with the whole going home thing, and start up again once we got home. So I was going to challenge her on it. “You know, you really turn me on, but I promised myself I wouldn’t sleep with you tonight.� It sounds so retarded, right? Girls know this. This is what girls tell themselves. No guy would seriously say that. “I just can’t.� Once I said that, the chick basically challenged me on it.
Steal a girl’s body language, when you see girls talk to each other. Notice sub-communication, non-verbal communication. Notice what they say, the structure of what they say. Half of your game in a club is not going to be the attract stuff. The attract stuff goes pretty quick. It’s easy. 90% of my game in clubs is convincing girls to trust me and feel comfortable around me. Notice the way girls are with each other, because they’ll feel more comfortable when you’re like that. That’s why sometimes in sets girls will ask me if I’m gay. It’s not because I have all these gay mannerisms. It’s because I don’t have all these typical male mannerisms. I’m building attraction, but at the same time I’m not conveying interest, through body language, etc. So if you don’t convey interest, but at the same time you’re building attraction, they’re really processing it as ‘this guy’s gay.’ ‘He’s making me attracted to him, but he’s not interested. What’s going on?’
A lot of times when you’re talking to two girls, one girl’s trying to shit test you, one girl’s trying to blow you out. Notice these things any time it happens in the field. That’s why getting blown out so many times in sets is a good thing. Use what the girls did against you. Use it against them. Back turns. Anytime you say something wrong, something they don’t like, girls will always turn their back.
PUA: If they do that, is there a formula for responding? Do you qualify them?
SB: I qualify. I really want to talk about the field report from last night. It’s a great example of where all this stuff falls into place. I go through the body language stuff, how I shit tested her, how I passed her shit tests, back turns…
Another good thing, to get your wingman into sets... I’m sure when you guys have worked with wings before, one half of it can go really well, and then you tell the friend, and it’s very hard to get in there, because the girls know what’s going on there. Two guys, two girls, they know. So one of them is going to be a little blocked up. What do girls do when it goes like that? One of them will be, “I’m really into it, but I can’t leave my friends. I can’t leave them. I’m going to have to go. “ Use that against them. Pull it out before they do. It doesn’t even matter if your wingman is not into it. Use it anyway. Let’s say I’m working with Marco, and Marco’s chick is being a bitch, but it’s going really well with my chick, I’ll pull my chick aside and say, “Listen. My friend’s really cool, but your friend’s just not into it. We’re not going to be those guys that split you guys up. Even though it’s going pretty well between us and I’d love to talk with you more, I’m going to have to go.� What she’ll do is she’ll pull her friend aside and tell her “He’s really cool. He’s a really cool guy. Just talk to him, talk to him.� I’ve seen this happen. I’ve done this with TD. Sometimes I’m just working sets where it’s not going like that, and we’ll do this to get each other into the set. It works, believe me. If it’s going really good with your chick, there’s no way she’s not going to try to keep you there.
PUA: What usually happens after that?
SB: She’ll try to get your wingman. Sometimes it will work, sometimes it doesn’t work. But for the most part, it works.
Another thing…notice the way girls talk to each other. Girls keep jumping topics from one thing to the next. They go through a whole progression of things. Guys are goal-oriented. Look at us now. We’re talking so that by the end of the day, you guys will be better at pickup and have a better understanding. Girls are into book clubs, right? There’s no goal in a book club. It’s talking about the book, talking about emotions, what they read about, stuff like that. Girls are into talking about relationships, emotions. Guys, what’s important to them? Goals. When you talk to girls, if you keep jumping topics from one thing to the next, they won’t pick up on it. It’s normal for them. That’s one thing I picked up from talking to girls. You don’t have to tell a story with a beginning, middle, and end, with a logical progression. Talk about more emotions, how you felt through that whole story, instead of what you did, what you accomplished.
Lock-up
How many of you guys have read about ‘lock-up?’ What a lock-up is basically is what happens when the girl senses you want something from her. That’s why guys get blown out of sets. That’s why guys aren’t getting good responses in sets. The girls are sensing that there’s some ulterior motive. There’s a few ways to deal with this problem. You’ll notice with some girls, on the approach, their body language will get real stiff. Their shoulders and legs will tense up. This is extreme lock-up, where they’ll fix their eyes on one thing. Sometimes, if you’re doing a 3-set, one of the girls will be locked up, while the other two are responsive. Lock-up is also closed body language. It’s not open; it’s sort of away…
PUA: Are you able to get them out of it?
SB: Oh yeah. You have to, in any set. Even if you guys are approaching indirectly, that first instance the girl’s going to be in a mild lock-up. I’m sure a lot of you guys have experienced it. Everyone gets this. The first thing to do is to barrel through. Do your routines. Don’t ask questions. I don’t know how you guys approach, but stop asking questions. Girls just get more and more locked up to the point where they just shut down. You could be like, “I’ll give you a hundred bucks to high five me. A hundred bucks.� And they won’t. We actually tried that once. We had a girl so locked up in Giza (sp?), and we hadn’t field tested this, so we did it.
[TAPE CHANGE]
Buying Temperatures
…start with zero lock-up, approach, and preferred buying temperature is she kind of opens up her body language. She allows herself to giggle at your jokes, answer your questions. It’s the first buying temperature. You can keep escalating to where you had it up before, where she’s willing to touch you, so you do kino tests. “Watch this cool handshake I learned.� She’s willing to touch you. She’s at that buying temperature. Usually like a high five is a good kino test. When she says something really cool, say “That’s fucking awesome, high five.� Sometimes you’ll see, when it’s not really there she’ll be kind of hesitant. I get this a lot, if I do it too early. Then I know I’m not progressing. So this is just to let you know where you’re at and sarge at the same time.
PUA: How do you increase buying temperature?
SB: Through different stages of the sarge, you keep escalating and escalating. Attract routines will increase buying temperature…buying temperature moving into rapport…Once you guys drop the attract stuff, start moving into rapport, the girls are going to start asking you about yourself. So buying temperature keeps getting higher and higher. You’ll notice this the more you go out, how it increases and increases. Different things along the way will give you cues. One of the biggest cues is when they start asking you questions about yourself. That means drop all the cock/funny stuff, drop all the routines. You just start building comfort with them, letting them know about yourself. That’s a huge waypoint in the sarge.

PUA: Do you use fluff (talk)?
SB: Directed fluff. I’ll go through that later -- comfort building and trust building -- because that’s probably the most important part of the game. That’s where most sarges are lost, once you get past the initial attract stuff. It’s the important part too, because that’s what’s going to decide on Day 2 if the girl is going to sleep with you or not, how much comfort and trust she has.
The next buying temperature…is she at buying temperature enough to venue change? Is she willing to go have coffee, is she willing to do a venue change within the bar. If you’re at a table, is she willing to go to the bar and have a drink? Is she willing to go sit on couches and talk to you alone? Just keep increasing, increasing, increasing.
The final buying temperature is sex.
More on Lock-ups
A good routine is the lock-up routine. You’ll see that the girl is locked up. It’s the same stuff. Calling them on their mannerisms and showing them you know what lock-up is will make them feel super comfortable…Pacing is a huge rapport technique, one of the best, that you can use in this situation, because it also builds comfort letting them know that you know what’s going on, you’re aware, and you respect that. A lot of times, with all this buying temperature stuff too, when you pace them you’re realizing that it’s not a jump to finish. There are certain waypoints. I don’t talk about buying temperature with girls at all. I talk a lot about games that the girls want to deal with, and they like it, but not buying temperature. Once they start playing games and shit, I say, “I know that.� I told a girl last night, “I know this game. I know what you’re trying to do and I’m better at this than you. The last girl that tried to do cried. You don’t want to play this game with me.� She’s like “What game, what game?� I turned my back and she ran away. Then she came back later.
Lock-up – how to get through. So you’d say something like, “Look. You’re all locked up. Look. You got your arms folded. I bet you couldn’t even high five me for a hundred dollars. You can’t even do it; you’re so locked up. What’s with you?� You use her friends often, because they aren’t locked up. You can even say something like, “Listen, you’re friend is all locked up. She’s obviously concerned about something. I don’t want to be that guy that just stays here and talks to you and breaks you guys apart (?). I don’t want to be that guy.� Then you walk away. Then her friends are like, “No. No, no. She’s okay. She’s not locked-up.� They’ll be taking her hands down. Just pointing out that you know what lock-up is…You can say something like, “One of my best friends is a girl and she told me about this. When she senses a guy wants something from her or guys are up to something with an ulterior motive, she’d get all locked up. I don’t want to do that, I don’t want to be that guy.� Just start turning away slowly, and you’ll see them start to get unlocked. Other stuff…just barrel through it. Keep going through routines, getting them to open up a little bit at a time.
PUA: I think that the best thing about it is you get them into a frame where if they do that again, then they’re responding to your frame. So then they’ll say, “I’m not going to do what you say.�
PUA: They don’t want to be unattractive, and they realize you’re pointing that out to them that they’re really being unattractive.
PUA: They hate the idea that they’re playing your game. When you do that, “Oh, you’re doing that whole lock-up thing.� It relates to this other routine…You’re hanging out with these two girls, and they’ll do the girl code and start doing a drag-away. You go, “I know what you’re doing. You’re like the drag-away girl. You’re the one who goes like this (and you mimic it). “Let’s get out of here.� You grab them and you start moving away. Then they start laughing. Sometimes they’re like, “I don’t appreciate that. Don’t call me that. “ But you know what, they stop doing it. They don’t lock-up. They don’t want to be in your frame.
SB: You realize how strong this is when you point this out to the girls, and they realize a guy understands this. How do you know this stuff? It’s powerful.
PUA: Can you talk about how you barrel through? I can imagine doing the David Bowie opener, then some other thing…Is it rapid fire?…
SB: A lot of guys will confuse lock-up with a girl caught with a ‘deer in the headlights’ look. Sometimes our games are so strong, that girls won’t be able to respond to it. You come through with this opener and this interesting conversation shit and it shuts their game down. So if you sense lock-up, just bust some cocky/funny shit, do some mini-cold reads, funny cold reading.
PUA: Cold reading is like you are…bad, a Powerpuff girl, etc.
SB: It’s telling them things about themselves that you have no way of knowing.
The way Mystery handles lock-ups, he just barrels through it. He does the black nails thing and just keeps going on normally. Eventually the girl will start to unlock. He’s so good with the body language.
PUA: Do routine, routine, routine, ask them for their opinion?…
SB: No real questions. Because questions will cause lock-up even more. Why should they talk to you? They’ll say, “Why are you asking me this?� That’s why before we go in with indirect approach we’re not asking questions right off the bat. When you’re trying to get them to talk you’re qualifying yourself.
PUA: How do you and Tyler, or Papa, deal with the rejection where they pretend to get a phone call on their cell. Or they say I have to make a call. Are you always dead at that point?
SB: A lot of guys want to know what to do when that happens. I’m more into what can I do to prepare so that doesn’t happen.
PUA: How to get it so there’s no opportunity.
SB: Yeah.
PUA: You’re saying don’t use questions use statements?
SB: I don’t even ask questions. There’s a time when you can open up with a false opinion opener, where you pretend like you’re interested. Her answer is irrelevant. It’s just a means for you to get in, do your routine, tell your story.
Lock-up…Make sure you guys understand it, realize it and can call it out when it happens. This will get your foot in the door in most sets.
Body Language (minimal notes here because it’s visual)
SB: There are different approaches for different settings. So don’t think one approach will work for all settings. In an extremely loud club, you’re going to do a totally different approach than if you were in a quiet coffee shop. On the street, it’s a totally different approach. So right now, we’ll do a club approach. You want to talk right here, from your diaphragm, really loud, cut through the music. You don’t want to start leaning in like most guys.
[See other notes (Vini, etc.) for more details on body language. Mike highlighted three basic moves that I recall. (1) He does the opener, turned at an angle, a position of disinterest, almost like he’s going to walk away. With neutral rapport, he (2) turns to face the girl, with open body language (legs apart). From here, he can also tease her, give her light, playful shoves to the shoulder (“Girls love this.�) and still pivot in and out of the space, so he’s still not really fully committed to giving his full attention. As he gains rapport, and the comfort level is building, he can (3) step in facing to communicate closer with her.]
SB: There are three levels of communication. The first is ‘breaking rapport.’ “Why are you talking to me?� The second level is neutral. “Hey guys, I need a female opinion.� The third level is trying to gain rapport. “Hey, what’s your name?� See the distinction? If you do a walk-up opener, you want to be neutral, facing away, just talking like this. You’re not leaning in, because that would be gaining rapport, qualifying yourself. Neutral opinion openers are ‘who lies more,’ ‘jealous girlfriend,’ etc. You use neutral language, and neutral body language. Throughout the opener, I like to shift through all three of those so the girls don’t even know where you’re at. She’s thinking, “Is he trying to talk to me? Is he staying here? Is he going to walk away?�
PUA: What about moving sets?
SB: It’s really hard to do when you’re walking next to the person. The best way we found to stop moving sets is to be stationery yourself as they walk past, (turn your head, but not your body, so they come back – TD) and go “Hey. I need a female opinion…� It’s better to get them to stop. When you’re walking with them it’s like you’re trying to chase them down, and they’ll feel a little intimidated, especially in NYC.
PUA: They have to stop anyway. Then you do a time constraint. (“I only have a minute…�)
SB: You have to come in super neutral. If you come in direct the chances are really small for them actually stopping. Some guys get it to work, but it’s hard, less consistent.
PUA: Verbally and non-verbally…I like the concept here…When you go like that (push her away playfully), the natural reaction is “Stop pushing me.“ What it looks like is you’re pushing them away, and they’re coming back to you. Non-verbally it looks like you’re showing interest, but verbally you say something and you’re about to walk away. They respond to that. You’re qualifying them…
PUA: Cause they said something really cool, so you’re like “Oh wow, that’s really cool.� It’s rewarding them for good responses.

SB: (During attract phase body language is)…It’s super, super playful. You treat them like a bratty little sister (push them away playfully). As long as you’re not intrusive (leaning in, stepping in too close). It’s not intrusive, it’s playful, and girls love this stuff.
I was out Friday night at a bar. I was talking to this chick, super hot. I shit tested her hard and started pushing her away. A girl like this had never had this happen. “Get away?� Are you kidding me? To a fucking 9? It doesn’t happen. So they don’t have a response. She’s like, “No. You can’t do that. You can’t do that to me.� I got the best compliment from any girl anywhere. She says, “You’re like me.� That’s exactly what we’re trying to do. We’re trying to take the mannerisms from 9s and 10s, steal them, incorporate them into ourselves, and use them against them.
PUA: What kind of shit testing did you use?
SB: ‘You’re trying to pick me up…trying to seduce me…drag me away from my friends…’ She had a necklace that said Sagittarius. I’m like ‘holy shit; I’m going to have fun with this.’ “I said, no way, that’s so bad. Sagittarius? Oh, that’s bad.� She didn’t know what to do. She goes, “What’s your sign?� “I don’t know. I don’t think I know you well enough.� The whole time I’m pushing her away, I’m twirling her, giving her high fives. Girls love that stuff.
PUA: You did this immediately?
SB: This is right off the bat.
PUA: So you do the opener, then you begin pushing them away?
SB: After they start giggling. It’s buying temperature.
PUA: At what level do you start pushing them away?
SB: Once you realize some subtle IOIs. Once they start talking to you, once they’re opened up with open body language. Once they start giggling a lot…that’s what we try doing with the opener, because giggling pushes them through emotions, and it gets their buying temperature up.
PUA: What if they’re sitting down?
SB: That limits you because you’re not going to be able to do body language. You’ve got to do it with verbal communications, strictly verbal. You’re going through all three of those…break rapport, neutral, get rapport. You’re going to try to shift through all three of those. This is still in the attract phase. This is the first 5-10 minutes.
PUA: What if they’re sitting and they don’t have an extra seat?
SB: You’re going to have to pull up a chair.
PUA: You don’t have a chair.
SB: It’s like you’re blown out. What’s going to happen is I’m going to have to approach them, do my opener, but where do you go from there? You’re going to be standing there forever. It’s just like you’re the chump that’s standing there. What you can do with it is, when you’re by this girl, grab her hands and take her seat. It only works on the hottest girls. Don’t do it with a little fatty. She’ll cry.
PUA: What about subways?
SB: Subways are weird. I don’t know many girls that like guys talking to them on subways. I know a girl that purposely goes on there with books so no one will talk to her. I’m not saying it’s impossible. Just realize that on the subway their defense will be extremely high. It’s like approaching a girl in a dark alley. So don’t think you can pick-up in any circumstances whatsoever. Some circumstances, the logistics are just fucked up. Some guys have trouble in clubs. It’s hard for them, but you can learn that. The streets at night…
(TAPE FLIP)
Field Report
SB: This is really bad. This is my neighbor living in the room next to me. I just moved in two weeks ago. I didn’t know these women before. This was the first time we go over there. It was just a party. These were college girls. This girl was 20. A little hottie. So, I go over there. The second I get in a venue, I just want to start talking, because the more you prolong it, the harder it’s going to be. Let’s say you go in a club and you go like, “Okay. I’ll do a set. Let me get water first.� The more you prolong it, the harder it’s going to be. So, when I get in, I start right off the bat. When you guys are doing clubs or bars, hit the first set you see. Test out an opener, get in a confident state. It will just make you feel more comfortable, even though you don’t want any girls in the group, just get into that mode. It’s so much easier. You’re approach anxiety will just go down, the less you think about it and the more you do it…So, I walk in there. The girls are already in a really good mood. It was going to be easy getting attraction, getting good vibes. I wouldn’t have to deal with lock-up or any of that stuff. I walk over to one of the girls. I did the jealous girlfriend opener. It’s a perfect opinion opener because it sets it up for you to start shit testing. So I start shit testing her and she’s giggling, giggling, giggling. “You’d burn the pictures? That’s so mean, so mean. You could be the worst date (?) ever, ever.� I start pushing her away. She comes back, I start twirling her. So I’m pushing her away, leaning in, pulling back--stupid attract stuff. Mini-cold reads: Powerpuff girl, little Nancy Drew girl (she’s asking all these questions). She was like an 8. So, I at least had the attraction stuff down, because I was just doing so much of it, takeaway body language, that she was grabbing me, grabbing me.

When she’d grab me, I tested her some more. “Why you grabbing me? Hands off the merchandise, okay? Hands off the merchandise. I don’t think I know you well enough for you to touch me like that. I got to look out for you guys. This is just a room of 6 girls and my roommates (?) aren’t around. I don’t know what you girls can do. I’ve got watch out for you girls.� At this point, her roommates are in the set too, and they’re all giggling and I’m just like playing them one off the other. So, later on we sat down at a table because we were drinking beer. So we start talking, and she starts shit testing me. By this point, we moved into rapport. All the attract stuff was down because I had her now, I had her isolated. Isolation is not a requirement for rapport. Isolation you do later on, but it just so happens that it was just me and her talking. You know you have rapport when girls start asking about yourself. Questions. They want to know about you. They’re trying to gain rapport. All the attract stuff…mini-cold reads, cocky/funny stuff, the big routines, the push away stuff…drop all that, because after a while it gets old. By this time, it’s like getting to know each other. If she sees you as just this guy, especially in a club…girls don’t know who you are, right? They could be massively attracted to you, but if they don’t know who you are, you’re going to have to fill that in. You can’t just be this club guy. When we approach, since we’ve done it so many times, we’re good at it. When I approach a girl in a club, girls know right off the bat, ‘This guy is super, super confident. He’s done this before. He knows what he’s doing. I’m attracted to him, but watch out.’ They know the second…later on they’re fucking, and they know they’re not going to be able to stop it, too, because they’re attracted. So half the game is building trust and comfort. So that’s what you want to do in this whole rapport phase. So I had this girl talking in rapport. She starts shit testing me really, really hard. She’s accusing me of being conceited, of being a player, because they pick up on this shit and after a while your games going to get really good where girls are going to know that you know about this shit. How do you know about this shit? Because you’ve done it a thousand times, you’ve fucked all these chicks, right? They don’t know that we’re in a room right now talking about this stuff, or there’s an Internet chat board where guys are fabricating routines on how to build the perfect connection between two people. Manufactured…they think it’s fucking genuine. They don’t know I could do this with any girl, anywhere. So, I realized that she’s shit testing me. I go to use what she gives me, right? Girls tell you a lot about the sarge. They’ll give you cues to what you need at that point. So when she’s accusing me of being conceited, and a player, two things went off in my mind. First, I’m going to have to disarm that, so comfort and trust is really hard. She already had the doubt, she was on the defensive. Second, she thought I was conceited, so I was overqualified for her, because I was dressed really cool. She knows me and my friends, our reputations. She was very defensive, so I knew I had to work towards that. The best thing to do was…I just went on about how I had to be honest. “I am a male slut. I sleep around with these girls all the time and I’m good at it.� This is the girl I mentioned earlier, when I talked about telling her not to play the game (shit test) with me because “I’m better at it than you and you’ll lose…the last girl cried.� So, she already knew I knew the game. I told her she wasn’t going to win. She challenged me. “You can’t make me cry. That wouldn’t happen to me. So I told her, “I’m a male slut. I go out to clubs. I sleep with good-looking women. But that’s not what I’m looking for.� She says, “What are you looking for?� So I was like, “The girl doesn’t even have to be that gorgeous. I can get that. I can go out to clubs and fuck these girls, but it’s just empty. I wake up in the morning. They leave, and there’s nothing else there. I go back to thinking about my first girlfriend at school, and how we loved each other, and how special that was. We used to go out on Saturday nights, and we used to just come back and have great sex. But she’d always be there the next day. We’d have breakfast, read the paper or watch TV. That’s what’s missing in my life right now. I’m through with going out to these clubs, sleeping with these women and having nothing there.� That took care of the whole conceited thing. I was like, “I could fall into that trap really easily. I go out to these clubs and it’s just all superficial. Sometimes I fall into that and I don’t even realize it. I don’t even want that anymore. But that’s what’s there, and that’s what I know.� What I’m doing this all for is I’m challenging her. I’m making her think in her mind, ‘I could be this girl that changes you, that you could wake up with.’
PUA: You mentioned before that maybe you were looking for a really cool girl. What’s your mindset at this point? Are you thinking maybe she is that girl and you’re setting her up for that or are you just trying to fuck her that night?
PUA: It’s almost like he’s challenging her to win his comfort and trust.
SB: Yeah, make her prove herself, that she could make me not want to be this conceited player now that she thinks I am, which I probably am anyway.
PUA: What if the girl just wanted to fuck.
SB: I gauged her. She wasn’t that type of girl. There are two types of girls: party girls and girls that are for real. Party girls just stay in the attract phase till you fuck them. You can neg them, tease them, push them away, till you get to the bedroom. You don’t need comfort and trust with party girls.
PUA: How do you know if she’s a party girl?
SB: You can just tell. Party girls will be like grabbing you, really easy to talk to…they’ll make their intentions known really quick.
So where was I?…
PUA: The girl’s feeling attraction. She wants to validate that attraction. You’re letting her do that by showing...
SB: Yeah. They get pumped through attraction so fast, that there’s no comfort and trust. You have to build that, so that they’ll feel okay with the attraction, and they can act on it, because they’re not going to act on the attraction without comfort and trust. It’s just not going to happen. A girl won’t sleep with you unless she feels comfortable enough, because there’s a lot of fucked up people in the city, especially for a lone girl. She’s going to need to feel strong comfort and trust.
PUA: Ross teaches build comfort first and then move into the attraction, but you do it differently.
SB: There was a thread on this group a few months ago when I first joined about building attraction and rapport. The general consensus is to get attraction first.
…So with this girl, what happened was she responded to it…unbelievable. Then I started talking about the first girlfriend I ever had and the way she made me feel, how I trusted her, and how when I was with her I never wanted to be superficial. I never just wanted to go around and sleep with girls. Basically I had to convey about how sleeping with girls feels and when you feel a real connection with someone it’s so much better. I realized this this summer and I’m trying to get away from that. Notice I didn’t say I’m not a player. I said I still am, but I’m trying to get away from it. If I had responded to her with “I’m not a player. I’m not into that.� I would be qualifying myself. So instead of going against it, you go with it and use it to your advantage. To tell you the truth, the reason I kept going with this is I love to field test stuff. She started challenging me, and I just wanted to see if I could get around it. I think it convinced her that she was the girl that could lead me away from this.
PUA: Did you convince her of that or…
SB: I made her convince herself. And I made it look like me as the victim. I said, “I go out to these clubs and all my friends are like that and I just don’t want to be like that anymore.� And I tell the girl, “I’m looking for love.�
PUA: With a straight face?
SB: It’s a straight face.

PUA: I’m curious…do you separate in your mind that there’s a difference between trust and comfort? For me it’s like a button…
SB: I view comfort more as talking about yourself, letting a girl know who you are, filling in that blank canvas of who you are. A girl is going to feel comfortable around a guy that she knows a lot about. I was basically telling her all about myself. See, I went into this whole story about myself. I told her about this summer, the moment I realized that I didn’t want to be this player anymore. I was home. I was lying on the beach. I described how beautiful it was. I was by myself. It was a private beach. There were some families on the beach. Every day I went down there, there was this old couple, 60 or 70. I would see them together on the beach holding hands. It was so amazing to think about that, how after being married for 40 or 50 years, after all that time, they still were holding hands spending each day with each other on the beach. That’s special, that’s what life’s about. It‘s not about going to these clubs and being superficial. When I was on the beach I was reading this book and I saw it, halfway through the summer I realized what it was really all about, and I just put my book down and I thought to myself for about an hour what was really important to me, and what matters. Since then, I’ve just been trying to get out of this lifestyle. It’s hard. [Hysterical laughter!]
PUA: That feels like comfort.
SB: That was more trust. She knows that I’m really trying hard to get out of this lifestyle and that if she takes a chance with me, I won’t (indiscernible) because I’m not that guy. I’m not the guy that wants to be like that.
PUA: It’d be funny if these girlfriends got together and said, “He said that same shit to me.�
SB: Yeah. I kind of strayed away from using canned material. I’d say 90% of my stuff is on the fly past the first 5 minutes. The first five minutes, you know some of the stuff is canned. It can be. I’ll tell a story, but the story won’t be real, like the story of the beach. It’s not really canned.
PUA: You’ll use that again?
SB: Yeah. You guys can use that too.
So the next move was…I built all this comfort and trust. (indiscernible - traffic noise) I told her this story about how my first girlfriend smoked Marlboro cigarettes, and she was smoking Marlboros, so that reminded me of my first girlfriend. I was leaving, but as I’m leaving, I’m getting up and talking to her, walking away, talking, still telling her the story, walking, walking, walking, she’s following me out. She gets to the front door of her apartment and goes like this (holds herself back, stops short of going through the doorway?) almost like you could see her lose her balance. So I just kept walking, and now I’m in my apartment. I’m talking to her like this. We’re looking at each other. She’s got her head out the window. But see, this is the weird shit girls do when they know it’s going down. Major shit test. This is last minute resistance. So I walked in my apartment, and I’m yelling in my apartment now so she can hear me on the other side. “This is so stupid. I can’t believe we’re having this conversation like this.� She’s like, “I’m not coming in your apartment. I’m not coming in your apartment.� “I just got to get a sip of iced tea.� She runs over. “Iced tea?!� Now she’s outside my front door, leaning in like this. I’m drinking, really enjoying it. “Ahhh. This is sooo good. This is the best iced tea ever.� I’m right here and she’s trying to reach for it. She’s 20 feet away. I was like, “Come here. Do you want the iced tea or not?� We’re talking, but still I’m walking, drawing her closer and closer.
We learned it from these salesmen in Miami. We’re walking out of the store, and the salesman goes, “Oh, we’ve got the specials right over here.� TD is like, “What?� (following him)
So, I’m doing this to the girl and she follows me. I’m leading her all the way around. It was retarded. I could tell she wanted a good night kiss or something, because we hadn’t kissed at this point. I don’t kiss until all the way at the end, because that’s sort of validating them, that’s like qualifying them. You keep trying to make them earn it, earn it, earn it. So I’m not going to blow it early on by just giving them a kiss. I’m basically going to fuck them by the time…that’s how I know they’re going to be validated.
PUA: As you’re telling the story you’re walking?
SB: Yeah. I’m looking over my shoulder.
PUA: I’ve done that a little bit. It works.
PUA: The whole time she’s like, “You’re playing games, you’re playing games.� At this point I’m not even acknowledging that. I’m just walking. She’s doing anything she can to throw herself out of state. I walk all the way to the back of my apartment by my computer, look at my computer. She’s still talking to me. I’m like “Yeah, yeah, good, good.� Then one of the other friends comes in the room from the party next door. So now it’s okay for her to be in the apartment, because she felt comfort, right? She knew nothing was going to happen with her friend there. So she comes all the way into my bedroom, whereas 5 seconds before she’s like this (hanging behind the threshold?) over the front door. She won’t even walk in. Her friend leaves because I said something. “Why is she in my apartment. It’s sort of weird.� So she talks to her and tells her to go. Her friend leaves and she closes the door behind her. So I look at her. I look at her in the eyes like this: triangular gazing, eyes to lips. (indiscernible) glances. Go like this. I grab her, start making out with her. She fucking throws me on the wall, starts making out with me hardcore. It’s over…
[TAPE CHANGE]
Openers
Openers are just bullshit, right? It’s a way to get in. That’s going to lead you to display your personality and really work the set. Don’t rely too much on having the perfect opener. I’d say 75% of the sarges I do, halfway through, I don’t even remember what opener I used. The chicks don’t even know. An opener is just a neutral way to get into the set. The one’s we use the most now…David Bowie, jealous girlfriend, dental floss, wheelchair opener.
PUA: What’s the dental floss opener?
SB: “Hey guys. I have a really important question. A friend of mine and I have been debating this all day. Flossing: before or after you brush?� It’s retarded, right? But the girls laugh because it’s so weird. The key is that you build it up where it’s such an important question. After, you just go into your routine. Do mini-cold reads, etc.
PUA: What’s the wheelchair opener?
SB: It’s one Papa made up. “Hey guys. I need an opinion. Would you ever date someone in a wheelchair?� “Hmmmmmmm.� “That’s so superficial. I can’t believe you said that. You guys hang with this guy, are you kidding me? “What if it was a really nice wheelchair?� (Indiscernible: he describes the ‘features’.) If she responds positively, then you say “What if it was this really old, dirty wheelchair, where one wheel was bent?� That opener gets good responses all the time.
Okay. A lot of you guys who don’t approach because you have approach anxiety…want a really good opener just to get the girls talking? Use the jealous girlfriend opener. Most of the time this will work and get the girls talking for 5 minutes. You can use any variation. ‘My friend just moved in with his girlfriend….,’ a certain problem arose, ‘what do you guys think?’ It will always get the girls talking. See how it’s so neutral? You’re not hitting on them, but at the same time you’re not insulting them. So, “My friend just moved in with his girlfriend. She finds a bra under his bed. The things been there for 6 months, so he doesn’t even know who’s it is. She flips out. Wants him to burn it. Is that even rational? What do you guys think about that?� It will just get them talking. I recommend that if you need help approaching.
PUA: Can you talk about stringing them together? Do you need more than one opener?
SB: That’s like a Mystery method style. What he teaches is to stack the openers. Mystery’s whole thing to do, because he does groups, is in the beginning he’ll just stack openers because all his openers are really interesting stories that take input from the group and convey his personality throughout these openers. At the same time he’ll neg the target. So, what he’s doing is he’s keeping the whole set entertained while he’s negging the target and building attraction with the one(s) that he wants. So if you want to stack openers and go that route, read up on Mystery’s posts. It’s amazing, amazing stuff. You guys should really read up on that.

PUA: So you don’t stack them?
SB: If it’s going bad, if you’re running out of stuff, I’ll stack them. But I like to take one opener and just work off of it, and just work off of it and just keep rolling, do a mini-cold read.
Right at the opener you want to use a lot of attract material, get them laughing. You can do cocky/funny role-playing. “You can be my new girlfriend. Can you cook? No? Wait, we have to break up. This will never work.�…�Hey, we can get married. Wait, if we get married I’ll be a stay-at-home husband.� It’s just like funny stuff. So that’s what I would do after the opener. Once that stuff starts to bomb, I would do another opener. Sometimes I do an opener in the middle of the set. Let’s say some people approach the set, like the rest of her friends. Then maybe I’ll do another opener, just to get the rest of them involved. Because a lot of time with sets, when you’re working with a group, you want to get the whole group involved. Or, the one girl that’s not into it who will pull all her friends away, so you want to try to do that. Stacking openers is a great way to do that.
Once they start asking you questions…They’re laughing and laughing. �Hey, what’s your name?� That’s a huge indicator. That means they’re trying to get rapport with you. They want to know who you are. That’s a big IOI. From this point, you lessen; you lower it until the point where you’re basically in rapport and building comfort and trust. Drop the cocky/funny stuff.
PUA: (Indiscernible – question from Mishel regarding his obvious accent and her asking where you’re from)
SB: Yeah. This guy Toecutter is involved with that, too. What he says about that…I’m sure once that happens, the conversation just dies. Where are you from?
PUA: Israel.
SB: “Oh, I know someone from Israel.’�
PUA: It should be very easy because maybe they have friends from Israel.
SB: Yeah, it’s boring, right? They’re taking control of the conversation. You want it to be your conversation. So just bust ‘em, bust ‘em. Say something like, “Where do you come up with these questions? You don’t care where I’m from. Oh wow, you know someone from Israel? Maybe we know each other.� That’s how I would turn it around.
PUA: One mistake I made a lot, which I’m correcting, is I pause too often on an opener. I pause for a reaction, or something like that. The group thing…you want to be in charge of the conversation so you don’t want to pause too often. At the same time, you don’t want to ask too many questions either. Just go one thing to the other. If you stand and pause for the reaction she’s going to think ‘stalker, stalker’ in her head, so you want to avoid that.
SB: He brought up a good point. There are different ways of opening for different venues. When I’m in a club and it’s loud music and it’s all high energy girls tend to stand (?) like this. Unless you whack them over the head with some crazy material, they’re going to walk off. So you have to overwhelm their reality. The way you do that is you open fucking hard. You just open and start busting through your material quick quick quick. No pausing at all. Just keep going going going until you have them like a deer in the headlights, till they’ve stopped and you’re their only reality, everything else is blocked out. But if you’re in a coffee shop…you just…pause, because you’re not going anywhere, you’re at a table, talking normally. You don’t need to overwhelm them with material. On the street, too, you have to talk faster because if they’re walking somewhere you’re going to have to stop them and hold them there really quick. So that’s a good point about pausing, when and when not to do it, opening for different venues.
PUA: I find sometimes they go straight to rapport and they respond more to that.
PUA: You have to shit test them a little bit, because once you stray into rapport—sometimes that happens, you just get caught in a rapport trap, right? There’s no attraction there. You’re going to have weave things into the rapport stage as well, like intrigue. Then you’re going to have to use more body language to build that attraction from there. It’s really hard when that happens. That used to happen to me a lot. So you just get to them by shit testing.
A lot of guys have a problem with the cocky/funny stuff and negging where it’s too hard and the girl’s getting offended. I moved almost completely away from harsh negs. My whole game right now is playful negs. Like calling girls ‘your little sister.’ Girls don’t want to be thought of as the little sister. Basically show them, “I love my little sister.� No girl is seriously going to go, “That’s so rude� and walk away. It’s going to bring them down a step, but at the same time it’s fun, it’s playful, right? So that’s what my whole game is right now. But for the 9s and 10s, you need those harsher negs. When you guys are doing this stuff, you’re probably doing it on girls with low self-esteem or mid self-esteem. Not as hot. They don’t get hit on as much. If they’re really responding well to you, don’t neg them because it’s just going to get bad responses. Any of you guys ever get a good field experience where all of a sudden you’re having this great conversation. Don’t bust out a neg. It’s just going to alienate the girl, push her away. If you do, do something to pull her back in.
PUA: What do you do for Day 2 stuff? (remainder indiscernible)
SB: Day 2 is something really important that I’ve been talking about a lot. When I was in Amsterdam with Mystery and TD, almost exclusively we talked about Day 2, because that’s where the real shit goes down. For guys like us, right now we’re just looking for really quality women to spend time with, girlfriends, stuff like that. All the one night stands with the party chicks, after a while it gets old; it’s not that hard once you get a decent game. You start getting fuck buddies. Sex for you guys won’t be the real thing you’re looking for. You’ll want to look for more quality women. So we don’t have sex with girls on Day 1s. We’ll save it for Day 2 so it’s more of a frame of a relationship, because a lot of times if you sleep with the girl the first night you met them they get buyer’s remorse. They’ll be like, “I slept with this weird club guy…it just happened…I felt skeevy about it…I don’t know if I should talk to him again.� So what if you had this great conversation, you had this great time at the club, and you don’t go for the full close. You save it for Day 2. You think on Day 2 she’s going to be worried about what happened the night before, or is she going to be more comfortable to meet up? She’s definitely going to be more comfortable. That’s what we were focusing on. A lot of the time, girls don’t want to meet up, it’s because 99% of the guys don’t understand this whole buying temperature stuff—girls have to be pushed up to that buying temperature. If you made out at the club on Day 1, on Day 2 they know you’re going to try to make out with them because you already did it before. Most guys think they can pick up from where they left off, which is not the case. That ‘s why on Day 2 you call her up, and all of a sudden you’re just this funny guy using callback humor from the day before. It’s not going to work; it’s not going to be funny. Let’s say the whole time you’re calling her ‘Powerpuff Girl.’ Then you get on the phone and you’re like, “Hey little Powerpuff Girl.� It doesn’t work because she’s not at that buying temperature. You have to push her to that again. On Day 1, I don’t really get her number, I get meet plans, which are a lot more solid. Think about it. If you’re in a club, you have a great conversation and at the end of the conversation you ask, “What’s your phone number? I’ll give you a call sometime.� You get the phone number, and granted she leaves thinking “Wow, this guy’s going to call me sometime.� You don’t call the next day or the day after. Four days goes by. She’s going to lose those memories of how good it was the first night, because the buying temperature is going to go down down down. If you call the next day with meet plans, the buying temperature is still going to be there a little bit and you’re going to be able to escalate from there. What I’ll do is something like, “Hey, tomorrow I’m going skateboarding in Central Park. It’s going to be really cool. You ever go skateboarding? I can teach you. Other than that we can just walk around the park. It’ll be fun. It’s going to be a great day out.� So you just have an activity in mind on Day 2. She’s like, “Okay.� You’re like, “How can I get in touch with you.� “Here’s my phone number.� See the difference between that and “What’s your phone number?�

Solid game plans are fucking important. Always have a solid game plan no matter what. Even if you’re going to do a venue change in a bar have a game plan, when you get her back have a game plan, or Day 2 have a game plan. You’ve always got to know where you’re at. If you don’t know where you’re at, the chick doesn’t know where you’re at, she’s going to sense that and she’s going to go. Always have plans. If she says she can’t go, suggest something else, and if she says ‘no’ again and you sense she’s breaking off, say something like “Well, what steps are we going to have to take to make this happen?� It’s basically putting the ball in her court.
Try to make plans the next day or the day after. I know a lot of guys ask how long do you wait before you call? A hot chick in a club, she gives guys her number. What, are you building anticipation by waiting? She knows you’re going to call, she knows what you’re calling for. Instead you ask, “Listen. What are you doing tomorrow? It’s really cool.� It’s not that intrusive. Think about it. The girl had all this comfort before. She had no reason not to. What’s the main reason why girls flake? Because they think you’re going to pick up from where you left off. They think it’s going to be weird.
PUA: Do you have anything you do for a first encounter, like build trust and bridge to Day 2?
SB: It’s building ultimate rapport, wide rapport. Deep rapport is when you talk about one subject. Let’s say you both love scuba diving and you talk about if for 2 hours in a bar. It’s a fucking great conversation. You say, “Let’s meet up.� She says, “Sure, sure, great, great.� She’s probably not going to go because she’s going to think, ‘what are we going to talk about, we’ll have nothing to talk about.’ Even in your sarges, what’s your biggest fear – running out of things to talk about? So, if you just talk about the one subject and finish talking about the one subject, she’s going think they’ll be nothing to talk about. What if you had all these different subjects to talk about and you don’t finish talking about them. On Day 2 she’s going to be more inclined to hook up, because you have more to talk about and you’re this person who can talk about so many different subjects instead of just one.
PUA: Could that build comfort and trust, though?
SB: That builds rapport. Yes, it’s very important to build trust, because she’s not going to be in your apartment with you the next day if she doesn’t have enough trust. Think about it. We’re these guys. We approach these girls super confident with super good material in a club, in a coffee shop, or on the street. You’re just not the next guy. Like who are you? So building comfort and trust is just displaying your personality, who you really are. Let them know you have a family, let them you have this job, this hobby that you’re passionate about. Let them know who you are as a person, that’s comfort and trust. Without that, you’re just this guy who approached in a club who got her attracted really quick and she’s probably a little leery about that. That’s not enough to go on. So building comfort and trust is super, super important.
PUA: On Day 2, how do you build up to where you can go back to your apartment? (?)
SB: You don’t have to use a lot of attraction stuff, because she’s already attracted to you. What she’s going to want initially is comfort. So you’re going to want to build comfort really quick. I just wrote a really good post on it. I’ll go as far as to say something, on Day 1, after we have meeting plans, like “Last time I went out with a girl that I kissed in a club she tries to kiss me as soon as we met, the next time. I don’t know if you girls are scared about that?� And she just picks up where I left off. Then she be like “Yeah, wow, me too.� Use all their shit against them. Use every single thing they’ve ever used against you against them. The strongest game I’ve ever used, all the best shit I’ve learned is from girls. All the girls that shut me down, pulled shit on me…it’s the best stuff.
So, Day 2 is comfort first. Then you want to get rapport. Get to know each other. Rapport is just getting to know each other. Then escalate it to where you start seducing her and go for the close.
(next minute indiscernible)
[TAPE FLIP]
Blowing AFCs/Cock blocks out of the set
SB: To cut down guys, we have a bunch of lines we use…Another guy approaches the set. A line he always uses is, “How do you guys know each other?� Usually people will talk about how they know each other. I’ll be like, “I fucked her.� You’ve got to do this on 9s and 10s. They’ll be like, “aaaahhh�. It’s really good. But do it on a 7…(and she’ll be freaked)
PUA: But you hadn’t fucked her yet.
SB: This is like totally cocky shit, like doing battle with the other guy. The guy’s like, “Ah-ah-ah-ah� and it totally cut him out of the set. Another thing…A guy comes and tries to bust up the set. He comes around to the chicks. I say, “Dude, dude. I will pay you $200 to take these girls off my hands right now.� The girls always say, “What? Ahhh.� The guy says, “What? $200? Pay me, pay me.� Then you go, “Chick’s (indiscernible).� Blown out, blown out. By saying that he’s qualifying himself right into your frame. He looks like a chump. And you’re negging the girls at the same time.
PUA: Did you ever get a negative reaction from the girl who you supposedly fucked?
SB: Yeah. When we first started trying it out. It doesn’t work all the time. You have to have high attraction girls, be in the set for a little bit. You have to use it on the right girls.
PUA: What if you say she’s my wife or my girlfriend?
SB: That’s kind of like qualifying yourself. That’s not like blowing out the other guy. You could say something like, “That shirt is fucking awesome, dude. Is that LaCoste? You know, I used to wear LaCoste in fucking high school. I had all those shirts.� It’s like, is that a compliment or what?
This guy Bad Boy, he goes up to guys approaching girls and says, “Hey guys. Where’s your girlfriend? Where’s your girlfriend?� If they say, “she’s at home,� he says, “Girls, this guy leaves his girlfriend at home and comes out to hit on you. What’s up with that? If they say, “I don’t have a girlfriend,� he says, “How lame is that. This guy doesn’t have a girlfriend? Dude, there are some cute girls over there. Why don’t you go talk to them.� Or…�You’ll find someone.�
A lot of alpha males will try to touch you for dominance. “Hey dude. I’m not into guys. The gay club is over there.� I’m with girls. They’ll come up and be very direct. I’ll be like, “Girls, do you know this guy? Is this your friend? He’s like freaking me out. He’s like touching you? What shit is that? Is he trying to seduce you?�…Call him out on the fact that he’s an alpha male. “That’s really cool. You’re the alpha male. You know, alpha males You’re like the leader of the pack. You call the shots. Like you’re the boss, man. Fuckin’ cool. You’re a really cool guy.� It’s like baiting the guy so much. Once they get made like that they try to gain rapport with you and ask you a question or say something. The second they do that lock them out of the set. Just completely ignore them and they’ll look like fucking chumps qualifying themselves to you. They’re blown out of the set. <END>