Three months ago I was laying on the couch head propped on the arm engaging in my favorite pass time, watching Tivo in a semi-vegetative state. I was perusing the guru guides looking for something interesting when I saw a recommendation for a show called the pickup artist.
That was the moment my life changed. I remember half way through it was like something snapped in mind. I couldn't believe I could learn to be attractive to women. The idea just seemed too far fetched. But, as I watched the episode, the realization that the psychology behind the techniques could really work launched me into action.
That was roughly 90 days ago. I don't remember the exact date but the episode I watched was the original airing of episode 5.
Here is what my life was like at that moment. I was a successful businessman with a family business that my father and I started together. I was 40 years old, 270 lbs, balding with gray hair. Routinely I would walk into my customers locations and they would talk about my brother. My brother was not my brother but my 67 year old father. No wonder I hadn't been layed in three years.
All that was about to change. The day after I saw that episode, I got up at 4:45 am and went to the gym so I would be there at 5:00 am when they opened. I worked out for an hour then came home and walked for an hour on the treadmill. I shaved my head. I cancelled all my internet porn subscriptions. I threw out all the food in my house, even the salt.
I had a plan.
I would take two months and work like crazy to get in shape then take one month to take a series of
workshops and find out what worked. I booked a
BadBoy workshop, then two weeks later an approach
workshop, and finally a week after that an
RSD workshop.
I also bought every product I could find on attracting and picking up women.
I spent a load of money and wasted a lot of time. Here is a tip: all
the Mystery Method proucts are excellent, Master the Vibe is pretty good and David Dangelo's stuff is great but you have to get the DVDs since you need to be able to see the body language.
Everything else is crap.
So, 90 days later, 40 lbs lighter, and off to the
workshops.
First up
BadBoy.
BadBoy is a real nice guy with techniques that might work in Europe. Day 1 he tries to get me to grab a 14 year old girls arm in the mall and walk her. That is a recipe for jail time and a spot on the evening news. This guy just doesn't understand our culture. Over three days he tries to open 8 sets and never lasts longer than 15 seconds.
This guy is a waste of time.
I call
BadBoy customer service to complain. It turns out they share a support staff with
Mystery Method. They offer to let me take
the Mystery Method bootcamp in lieu of a
badboy refund. That is an awesome compromise and completely unexpected.
The Mystery Method bootcamp is the same weekend as the
RSD workshop I already booked. Screw that, I know Mystery is better. I cancel with
RSD.
Second
workshop - Approach.
The Approach coach goes by Noah. This guy's game is ridiculously good. He locks nearly all his sets. He flirts in four languages. He renews my faith that this is a skill that can be learned. I learn direct approach. Suddenly pickup is fun. Over three days I open over 40 sets. I don't last long but at least I can open and my confidence is growing.
On the last day our infield is at a bar that is literally on the beach. Noah opens a set and, after he locks, I move into wing him. I entertain the obstacle and Noah ejects to help another student while a friend of his enters the set and continues to game the target. I am starting to get IOIs from both girls. I have run too much attraction (since it is all I know) and now I have both their buying temperatures up which is actually starting to fuck up the set. I grab the obstacle and move her to the bar so we can regain control of the set.
IOI's are out of control now. I move her to the beach and make out with her. This is stupid game and I know it. There is nowhere to close here and I am diffusing all her sexual tension but I don't care. She breaks up the make out session. Fuck, another mistake. We head back inside and rejoin the original set. Over the next couple hours I eject multiple times as different members of our
workshop keep the set entertained. Finally I notice the girl I was making out with is getting bothered because she can see I am gaming some other girls. I eject from that set and go move her outside the side of the bar. I luck out and there is a small alcove used to hide a piece of lift equipment. We tuck up behind it and she says she can't leave with me because her friend is getting creeped out by my wing. If we are going to do anything we need to do it here. (Nice, shitty wing = fool's mate. Fuck it. I'll take it. It has been three years) We start making out again and I put my hands on her shoulders and start gently pushing her down. She stops me. Tell me what you want, she says. So of course I say "I want you to put your mouth on me." Not exactly charming. I need to think of a better transition but fuck it. It works.
BJ close at the end of my
workshop.
Third
workshop -
Mystery Method
The
seminar starts on day one.
Sherriff who is supposed to be running the
workshop is sick so
Braddock has stepped in. There are 10 students: Face, Doc, French, College Boy, Soprano, Johny Cochran, Casanova, The Invisible Man, Ranger and me "Holidaze". My name I have chosen. All the other names are bullshit nicknames I gave them so I could remember who was who.
The Mystery Method instructor core is phenomenal: There is
Sheriff, Kisser,
Braddock, Rocker, Levo, and
Soul.
The
seminar is intense. I am using the same notebook I used at the previous two
seminars and when I walked in I had written on six pages. By the end of the first day I have written 20 new pages of notes. God this is awesome. The content is so dense I am only getting about a third of it down and I had already memorized damn near every product on their website. These guys aren't fucking around. This is the NFL of pickup and you better come to play.
First night - The teams are split in two and I go with
Rokker, Kisser, and Levo. These guys are newer and have good game but they aren't as good as Noah. They are, however, more structured. I can see that what they are teaching is a method and it seems more easily duplicatable. The demos are solid,
Rokker easily locks his set and and Kisser, true to his name, isolates and makes out with an HB 8.5.
After the demos Kisser comes over to us and says OK someone go open her. He is pointing at a 10 sitting alone at the bar being worked by a GQ model of a bartender. That is all I need, boom, asshole and elbows. All the other guys see is my back. After three
seminars approach is not a problem.
I open with "Hi, I'm a douschebag, blah blah blah." (If your reading this thinking I'm going to give you all my hooks you can dream on fuckers. You'll just fuck it up anyway and what is the point in that? Take a
bootcamp and learn how to do it right) She laughs, and I am in. Now that I am close to her I get a good look. She is not a 10 she is 12. She has a perfect face and tight body. My god she is showing me
IOI's. Is this possible. I am so enamored with myself that I miss her shit test. She throws it out like a pebble the same way we throw negs and I missed it. She says she doesn't want a boyfriend. The correct response: " too bad because I'm going to make you one of my girls." My response: " Good I don't want a girlfriend either." As soon as I say it her breathing shallows, her hand turns slightly and her eyes refocus. No more doggy dinner bowl. Fuck. I lost it. What do I do? Correct reponse
Neg hard now, motherfucker. Do it now. What do I do. Straight to
AFC. "So what do you do?" Brainfreeze
AFC bullshit. Suddenly Kisser appears and says" Have you seen
KINO?!" He wants me to start physical contact now. From his view point I still look locked. It is the right advise 30 seconds too late. Hard
Kino and a throw away would have recovered me from the shit test failure but now when I do it it comes across as try hard and rappore seeking. I stay in set for 20 more minutes but it is over. I'm cooked. No room for error here boys. This is speed chess.
Rest of the night goes down hill. I have lost it and while I can't put my finger on what has happened I later discover that I have gone into a rapore seeking frame. Going to have to fix that tomorrow.
Day two
Seminar is even more ridiculous than before.
Braddock could easily talk for a week and still have volumes of knowledge to give us. He is awesome.
Day two - infield. Tonight I go with
Soul,
Braddock and Loki. This is the A team. These guys are the best I have seen.
Soul takes me one on one and we are working direct approach with constant
Kino.
Soul has created his own style and it is amazing. We work a few sets and two 5' 10" blondes appear in the center of the venue with a small girl between them. Now this is Jamie Fox's birthday party mind you so there are some good looking girls here but these two could literally stop traffic. Boom, I go straight in. - You are adorable. - She looks down at me (she is probably 6'2" in her heels and mumbles something in a foreign language to the short ugly one in the center. They are from Norway and don't speak any english. I stay in set for a few more minutes then eject. When I come back and tell
Soul what happened he moves straight in. He takes a different approach angle and manages to get the tall one I wasn't talking to to back turn her friends providing him instant isolation. Fuck he makes it look so easy. I watch as he talks his melodic wrap and strokes her hands, arm, back and stomach. Time passes and he is till talking. Then more time.
Braddock comes up and says - what's up - . I tell him
Soul is gaming that girl over there. He has been talking to her for over 10 minutes doing everything but finger her here right in the middle of the party. AND the bitch told me she couldn't speak English. (Shouldn't talk like that its bad karma and bad for game, but fuck. What the hell.) Finally
Soul ejects and comes back over. I have to ask - So what did you say to her? - He looks me dead in the face and says flatly - Nothing she doesn't speak English. - OK, Fuck me. This guy is a god.
Through the night I get multiple locks but dont get past qualification. I think I am too much in my head. And I definitely need to get my stories down and build a routine stack.
I have my post
bootcamp action plan.
Day three
seminar.
Sheriff is back and looks human again. He contributes at the lecture and is obviously very strong.
By this point we have an idea of each instructors strengths and style. You would think that since they are teaching one uniform method that all the pick up would look and sound the same. It is really not true.
Here is a highlight of the instructors:
Sheriff - A master at
SNL - Same Night Lays - and
relationship management. When I find a girl I really like I'm going to take a one on one with this guy. He is the master at keeping a relationship feeling new.
Braddock -
Braddock is the high school jock/jokester. I loved his style of game. Awesome teacher. I'm going to take an advanced
seminar with him in about six weeks. If you get a chance to take a
bootcamp with him take it. He is a phenomenal teacher.
Soul -
Kino legend. Once I master the traditional method. I'm taking a few one on ones and getting this crazy shit down. It is just indescribeable.
Kisser - If I had to pick an instructor other than
Braddock that I wanted to teach the
seminar it would have been Kisser. A computer geek by trade you would never know it. He is a master story teller. The best in the group. I steal quite a few of his stories but can't get them to come off, I have to water down the details to find congruence. But Kisser can paint gorgeous word pictures for the girls and lull them into his little trance. Very evocative. Kisser was also very dedicated to teaching. It is one thing to have game and something completely different to teach game. Both Kisser and
Braddock are passionate about teaching game.
Rokker - His style is what it sounds like. He is the musician. Tall and good looking with a swedish accent this guy had girls falling on him. That made it kind of hard to evaluate his game. But he definitely can get the ladies.
Levo - I don't see much of his game till the last day. I think he uses some variant of a Borat personality.
Night three, I stay in town since I have a job in Miami the next day and head out with all the instructors. I was the only one with week game but it was cool to watch the masters. Besides I have my homework and I try a couple of stories on a few sets. I make some modifications to the story, get a better reaction. Make a few more mods. Cool now I have two strong field tested stories.
One of the girls I meet is an HB 8 semipro. When she finds out I am going to Manhattan for Christmas she offers to sleep with me if I'll take her with me. Friggin wack job. If you approach enough people you are going to meet some of them too. Wait a second, Mr I beat off watching the computer everynight just turned down not quite hooker pussy. Well its not super discriminating but it is a start.
Post
BC (
bootcamp) Day 1 Nothing. No sarges. I work a little online game over eharmony and match.
Post
BC Day 2 Cashing my check today I notice the teller is really cute and she is giving me IOIs. I also notice she types really fast so I say - Man you are a fast typer. Do you text as fast as you type? Prove it. Here. (I pass her my number) text me something cool. -
Her - What do you want me to text? -
Me - How about when you get your break. Your going to take me to lunch. You have to pay. I'm high maintenance. -
blah blah we do lunch. It is pretty good. I'm getting better at advancing
kino and coupling it with strong releases. Still need more stories.
Post
BC Day 3 - Killing time in the Starbucks. Get
IOI's from the cashier. Give her a little
neg. She is wearing green clothes, green jewelry and green eye shadow. I say she looks like she is ready for St Paddys day. The
neg lands like an anvil. She is crushed. Wasn't that much of a
neg and she is an 8 so she should have been able to take it. But no. Calibrating negs is the hardest part for me. You have to do it to maintain attraction but it is easily the fastest way to blow a set.
There is one other set of HB 8's in the coffee shop. As I approach I realize they are speaking German. I run the handbag opener and sit down next to them. They are only responding in German but I don't care. I plow and start some of
Soul's
kino. They give me the - your a creepy guy look - get up and walk away. Nice. The cashier saw the whole thing and is revelling in telling all her workers what a loser I am. Oh well. Fuck it. Time to move on and find some other sets.
Quiet the rest of the day till I go to check in at the Ritz. It is about 7:00 and there is some kind of convention or something here. It is mostly middle aged men with name tags but interspersed are quite a few models that they have brought in to man the booths. I go upstairs change into Sarge attire and head to the bar.
As I enter I see that the hottest girl in the room is, of course, standing right in the center of the room. I head straight in. They see me coming and are watching my approach. Not ideal. As I get closer I notice everyone including the girl is wearing a wedding ring. Too late to abort. Oh crap. This is going to be bad.
I open with the
DLV stack. "blah blah blah rolling around in garbage cans." The line hits and they laugh. Nice, I'm in. I give her the "eyes up here" line and the guys are rolling at her reaction.
"So where do you all know each other from?"
The two guys are account executives for Clairol and the girl is a model from New York.
The sarge is on.
I spew a little fluff. One attraction story then:
- Last time. Eyes up here. I know they are really appealing. But you are making me feel like a piece of meat. It looks like you just want to reach out and touch them. -
As I say the last line I reach out with both hands like I am going to squeeze her breasts but stop a couple of inches shy.
Still, making an exagerated honking motion at a pretty girl in the center of the bar has now attracted attention and three AMOGs move in to save her.
The girl is directly in front of me with the Clairol guys on either side. I see the three guys in my periphery approaching from her left. I turn to face them and place my left foot right next to her right foot which causes the Clairol guy to her right to be back turned out of the new group.
The AMOGs enter and before they can say anything I reach out and shake each one of their hands. As I shake each hand I say "Howdy neighbor. Howdy neighbor. Howdy neighbor. I'm just out here meeting all my neighbors.....Actually I'm required by law to meet all my neighbors"
It takes these knuckle heads a second to process the joke and as it happens the backturned Clairol guy reenters the set to my right. This means that I am now positioned to the targets right with no one behind me.
I turn to her and say - hold out your hand. She lifts her right hand. I say - No, the other one. She lifts her left hand. I then take it pivot on my right foot such that we have now back turned this whole set and begin to walk her away by the hand.
- Lets get a drink while they talk. -
I start to run game but I am only using real light negs. I'm scared of them now and I don't want to blow it. I say stupid shit like - I only date tall girls I could never date a shorty like you. - (She was probably 5 foot 10)
I run the two polished attraction stories I have and start to qualify. She behaves nicely and never mentions her ring.
I give her the
Sherriff squeeze and she squeezes me back, hard. Nice. It is on, like Donkey Kong.
- The vibe in here is to stiff with all these suits. Lets go out by the pool.
We sit out by the pool and I run the question game and then Strawberry fields. After about an hour she complains that she needs a drink.
I say - lets go back to my room and drink the minibar dry. I should warn you though. Nothing is going to happen. I am on my period. -
She laughs and says - me too - as I grab her arm.
Back in the room it is mostly awkward comfort. I haven't polished any of these routines yet. And seduction
kino is not really catching.
Finally we end up fully dressed lying on the bed heads on pillows facing each other. This shit is backsliding into a lets just cuddle and be friends frame.
My options start running through my head. I could freeze her out, but I'm sensing that she is really on the fence and that might cause her to leave. With her being in the hotel the logistics for her to just walk down the hall and be in her own room are working against me.
What would
Braddock do? Then the voice comes back through my head. "Be Bold!"
No more hesitation. I grab the back of her head pull her in hard and kiss her. Then I pull my cock out and start beating off.
We break from kissing and she just stares at my cock as I'm stroking it. It takes her a few seconds but then she reaches out and takes it in her hand.
She leans in, kisses me again, then says -Turn out the lights. -
The next morning I wake up as she is getting out of bed. She goes into the bathroom and I assume she will be right out. A few minutes later she appears and it is weird. She is dressed. Her eyes are all strange and she babbles something incoherent as she bolts for the door.
I'm awake now, pondering what the hell just happened. She is gone and I don't know her room number or her phone number. I reach for the phone to call the front desk and that is when I notice.
There is a red streak on the phone. I look at it and then the lamp. There is something on the lamp too. Now I am up kneeling on the bed. I look at the room and I can't believe it. It's like something Manson would have left behind. There are bloody handprints all over. Not just the phone and the lamp but the wall above the bedboard. On the chair and the drapes. I pause for a second and try not to panic.
What the fuck happened here.
Then slowly it starts to make sense. How things didn't quite feel right as I was fingering her and when he had sex. She was wet but somehow it was different. Since it had been so long I figured maybe I just didn't remember it right. Now I knew what it was.
When I said I was on my period I was kidding. When she said it. She wasn't.
Great. What the fuck am I going to do about this room. There is blood on damn near everything. How the fuck can a human being lose this much blood and walk around. No wonder some women are such bitches on their period.
I put the do not disturb plaque on the door and head to the store to buy cleaning supplies. I come back and start cleaning. It takes nearly a whole day. I wash the sheets in the tub. I soak the mattress stains with oxyclean and then blow it all dry with a hair dryer. I scrub the furniture and the drapes. It takes a sonicare toothbrush to get the bloody handprint out of the wallpaper. The process is horribly tedious and I keep having to run the maids off as they knock on the door. But in the end I get it clean.
So it only took 3 months and $8,000.
But I am back on the horse and getting laid.
Hopefully the next encounter will be better.
Holidaze
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