I had a
1-on-1 with
Fader on sept, 18th and it was just awesome!
It's not just learning quicker or getting very detailed feedback from a pro, the most important thing for me was that he customized everything just for me, exactly in the way I needed it.
I started with
the game just four weeks ago and if there's any advice I can give to people booking a 1-on1 to get the most out of it, it's
a.) setting clear goals for your game and your 1-on1,
b.) choosing where to look for sets ahead of time, the best would be to scout the area one day (or some days) before
c.) If you can only pay for one day (like me): really learn the basics of the method at home before you take your
1-on-1, and practise as much as you can. If you can afford two days, I think it would be best to learn as much theory and do a few sets, then take the first
1-on-1 or
bootcamp early (to get the basics right instead of learning them wrong) and the second
1-on-1 much later.
I failed to do b.), I needed to take the
1-on-1 that soon (because of some reasons to complicated to explain them here) so I wasn't prepared as good as I could have been with two more weeks of studying the material first (c), and I did well with a.) BUT my
sticking points have actually been different from what I thought they were.
Fader did a marvellous job in finding them and helping me to get over them. First we talked for an hour to see what I had already learned, discover some things about my personality and my belief system, analysing how one of the sets I did at home went (it was really on) and how to continue with this girl.
We realized I got something wrong – I didn't really understand how
attraction works (I thought just negging, being cool and making some playful banter), I had no idea how to continue after openers (I'd stick for an opener forever and never talk about anything else the next two minutes, e.g. if I asked an opinion about using an 80's theme or a jungle theme for a party, I would continue about the 80s or the parties for the next five minutes…). I totally failed in seeing how important
qualification is (I thought I could just see if I liked the girl from what we already talked about or decide about this later, but I didn't get how important it is to let HER know that I am qualifying her) and I had no clue on how to move to
comfort. I'm just great in doing conversation and so I had opened and succeeded in getting a phone number sometimes, but I got the "
I have a boyfriend"-speech instead of a phone number more often in the 8 sets I tried before my
1-on-1 than in the
50 sets I did since then…
So
Fader explained to me how
A1-
A3 do work, how to do proper
qualification, how to use
storytelling,
DHV-spikes, create my own routines, openers and stories and how to build
comfort. We didn't do many sets that day, but I later realized that this was perfect.
Fader did exactly what was most useful for me. In my own language (it's not English) I'm really great in building rapport, listening and making interesting conversation. So what I needed was much knowledge, a change of my
inner game / belief system and a few important feedbacks on my approaches, mainly on
body language and structure.
We did 4 indirect sets and one direct approach which went VERY wrong, the girl looked really scared because I approached to fast from the side, like someone who tried to mug her.
Fader stepped in and interrupted in a professional way to show her I'm no danger to her. This was the only set I ever did where a girl was frightened or annoyed by my approach. The feedback from
Fader was gold. On my flight back to Europe, I saw a girl on the plane that turned every men's head. At baggage claim I just walked up to her, told her I noticed her and want to get to know her. I did everything right with the approach thanks to
Fader (had trouble after the first 20 seconds because I had to speak in a foreign language). Five minutes later she had to leave because all her friends had collected their luggage, but she even stopped them to take the time to write down her phone number and e-mail address (I asked for it, but I haven't called her since she lives so far away that meeting her would be a one day travel and at least 300 Dollars.).
The feedback I received from
Fader for my indirect sets was also gold. Last week I was ill and the week before that I had to work very much, but used the time I had to spend on four train rides to really work one HB on every train ride for a long time. The first one is going to get married soon, but I kept her as a "travel advisor" and she emailed me back. The second one is really cute, lives 2 hours away from me and was on vacation for ten days now in a foreign country so she could not use her phone except for
texting, but we texted one message back and forth every day (she'll be back and able to answer the phone tomorrow). The third one was exactly my type. We talked for two hours until the train reached its final destination. I haven't followed up on her yet since I was ill, but she will visit a town next to my home five days from today. Kudos to
Fader!
For the last one and a half hour
Fader and I talked about how to handle a girl I had set up a day 2 for when she would return from vacation – I met yesterday. Talking about that showed my worst
sticking points, deep
inner game issues and wrong limiting beliefs I had.
Fader is a exceptional great listener, a perfect analyst and I just can't describe how well he handled the difficult task to show me my beliefs were wrong and I HAD to change them. I always thought just drunk party girls want to kiss a guy on the first date, but now I get that if you don't try it, you'll end up in the "
just friends zone" which was my problem for the last 10 years of my live.
To completely get rid of my
inner game demons I asked to of my female friends about this. Both are very high class, almost never get drunk, are very intelligent woman and one is still in the
LTR with her first friend from high school (the
LTR has already lasted 7 years now). Both said that if the guy was the right one and the timing and place would be right, they would definitely want to kiss on the first date. I would NEVER have discovered or really believed this or got over this sticking point from reading ebooks, watching DVDs or going out with a
wing. Every
PUA who would have told me that, I would have labelled "silly playboy with low value system who just wants to fuck silly party girls who are half drunk and who are sluts anyway". It took a skilled instructor to really teach me this one and
Fader did a great job in teaching me.
When I started with MM, I thought it was about getting laid with beautiful girls. I assumed that if I do it right, after doing it for a few years, I might be lucky and actually date a girl that's not only beautiful, but would meet all my other standards I'm looking for to start a
LTR. That was four weeks ago. I now have a choice of three girls to call that are not only HB8, but seem to have all the other characteristics I'm looking for in a woman (as far as I can tell after talking to them for an average of three hours each). I don't know if everyone of them will really show up for a day 2 with me, but I was on a day 2 yesterday and have a day 3 scheduled with that girl for tomorrow. We have spend four wonderful hours together. Four weeks ago, I wouldn't have believed that I could meet three such woman in two years, now I met them in just two weeks while
approaching 50 other girls – and I was also able talking to them for a long time and getting their numbers :-)
I spend all the money I had saved for vacation this year on my
1-on-1 and the trip from Europe. I didn't regret it for one second after the day was done - it was worth every penny!
Also this is still going to require a lot of work, my live has already changed in a very great way thanks to
Fader.
RedTiger
| Who wants to change their abilities with women and dating FOREVER? |
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I like love songs 
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