Itís not what you say. Itís how you say it.
Starlight Phone Consultation - April 2012
Iím scheduling monthly phone consultations with LS instructors, and this month decided to use Starlight. Heís a guy with a background similar to mine: musician, linguist, traveler, and way too smart for his own good. I enjoyed the interview he and Soul did on conversation techniques a year ago, and I figured Starlight would be able to help me present myself better, especially during social circle and day game.
First off, it was great that Starlight was willing to work with me outside the scheduled half hour. He asked me to email him my notes and to give him time to review them. I went through each of the eight attraction switches and brainstormed stories about myself that I could tell in set.
We did a little bit of role playing where I pretended to be a girl and Starlight talked about his own mastery topics. What struck me was that he was upfront telling the girl good things about himself. He was just a lot smoother at transitioning onto the topic. I went into the call with the idea that I needed to be a little more subtle during the day, and that really wasnít the case at all.
He uses a technique called Statement-Reflection-Question. He also gave me a generic statement a girl might say such as ďYeah, Iím in town for the weekend with a few friends that are visiting from New York and weíre trying to find out something to do tonight.Ē and showed me how I could transition seamlessly onto a topic that might come off as insecurely try-hard, such as the fact I ride a motorcycle.
The big takeaway is how he uses some universal emotions such as ďIt is an experience that runs counter to peopleís expectations,Ē to link two seemingly unrelated topics.
Finally he gave me some homework (Yeah, really, Iím doing homework to pick up women. Who knew it would come to this!) to go over each of my topics and do a trigger words exercise where I come up with a couple of humorous stereotypes for each of them. He told me to email it to him and heíd give me feedback.
This was a solid forty minutes, and it was worth the time and money. Some of my phone consultations with other instructors had a real motivational component to them. This conversation was much more academic and much less cheerleader-like. Not better or worse, just different.
My one complaint is going to come off as a guy who won the lottery and complained about the taxes. Starlight was gracious enough to send me an advanced copy of his mini-book on conversation techniques, but he did it after the call was over. Itís an awesome 10 pages, and I hope you guys get a copy someday. Some of it repeated the advice he gave me during the call, and I would have made even better use of our time if I had had a chance to read it in advance so he and I could have covered more nuances during the call.