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I wanted to wait a few days before writing ...
Fader Bootcamp - Seattle, August 2009
I wanted to wait a few days before writing my review because I wanted to see how I would feel after the bootcamp "high," so to speak, wore off.
If you're reading this review, you're probably wondering if a bootcamp, and more specifically, a bootcamp with Fader, is right for you. If so, settle in, because you're who this review is written for. First, a little about myself so you know what kind of guy I am, or rather was.
If you're just interested in my opinion of the bootcamp itself, skip to part two.
If I had two words to summarize the bootcamp overall, they would be "fucking awesome." For me, attending a bootcamp has been two years in the making. I read "The Game," while I was living in Japan and it totally changed the way I thought about women. However, since that time I have either been in a relationship or not in a position to take a bootcamp (deployed to the Middle East, specifically).
Growing up, I was pretty much a classic introvert who didn't socialize very much. It was always easier for me to read books by myself than it was to meet and socialize with people I didn't know, especially girls. After moving to three different schools in three different years during my early teenage years, a particularly severe incident of trauma occurred in my life that only served to help cement my non-social tendencies. My life was out of balance, as someone pointed out to me. He basically suggested that I should go bang dumb, blond cheerleaders; unfortunately, such a thing was easier said than done for me. Before I turned 20, I could count the number of times I had had sex on one hand (all of this in spite of the fact that I am actually a pretty good looking guy, although I didn't realize this at the time, so I definitely had some severe game issues).
Despite my late start, before my bootcamp with Fader, I didn't consider myself unsuccessful with women, as being in the military right out of high school really helped me learn how to better socialize with people, women included, and I was be able to have relationships with some very beautiful women. But I still felt like I was "getting lucky," so to speak. I didn't have a plan for meeting women, and I didn't really understand social interactions. I attribute my successes to that point to my good looks, intelligence and sense of humor (once women got to know me), but I definitely didn't have any real game.
After happening upon and reading "The Game," and subsequently "Magic Bullets," I began to have a better understanding of social interactions and why women behave the way they do. I felt an almost religious fervor in my mind, a new outlook on the world; however, it was mostly theory. I began to work on some of my body language and voice projection issues, but nothing really beyond that. I was also in a long-term relationship, so I wasn't going out and talking to people. Even if I had, I would have fallen back into my old patterns of getting wasted and then maybe trying to talk to a few girls.
While I was in San Diego for a month outprocessing to separate from the military, I had the chance to go out downtown and see the clubs and the people. But I never actually pulled the trigger. An unsettling feeling of approach anxiety always washed over me, so I would hang out in bar drinking possibly talking to someone if a conversation was initiated with me. Not very productive. I knew I hadn't yet turned myself around.
Once I returned to the city from which I entered the military, I was introduced to the daughter of one of my mother's coworkers. I felt intimidated by her because she is very attractive and seemed to have her business together, but I sucked it up and used the some of the techniques I had learned (I know kino escalation was particularly helpful because she mentioned it to me later), and got the girl. In fact, we fell in love, something that had never happened to me before, and even though I wouldn't have acted on it without having everything else in my life in order first, I started to get the feeling that she might be "the one," a thought that had never even crossed my mind with other women.
Fast forward six months and she has broken up with me essentially because I failed to manage the relationship properly. Bad times for me.
After all of this, I realized it was time for a change. Reading more books wasn't going to help me: I needed to put theory into practice.
After reading many reviews of bootcamps, I decided that I would go with Fader because of the many positive reviews I had read.
One of the best decisions I ever made.
Fader blew my mind wide open. I had very high expectations going into the bootcamp with some specific goals in mind, and all of those goals were met and exceeded.
When I met Fader, I could tell that he was a super-cool, chill guy. He is very open and honest with his students, describing some of his troubled past, and taught the seminar out of his hotel room, making for a more informal and relaxed atmosphere. He also goes out of his way to go above and beyond for his students, giving us hours of extra seminar time, talking with us over dinner and making sure that everyone's questions were answered. I felt less like I was attending a seminar and more like I was basically renting Fader and his expertise for the weekend. Having discussions with him was like talking to an old friend who "got it" with women that I never had in my life.
Fader is known for his work on Inner Game, a subject that I felt I was already reasonably strong in. I figured I might pick up a few pointers here and there but would mainly focus on techniques in the field. I couldn't have been more wrong.
Listening to him talk about Inner Game really helped identifying a lot of negative and limiting beliefs and frames that I didn't even realize I had. I destroyed them and have replaced them with positive, useful beliefs. I now understand how important Inner Game is. If the game is a house, then Inner Game is your foundation. Sure, you may be able to live in a house with a poor foundation, but it's not very comfortable and eventually it will collapse. The changes I made to my Inner Game almost make me feel like a new person, and I talked to more new people and had more new interesting conversations just in these past few days after the bootcamp than I have had in a very long time. I have a very positive vibe now, and people respond accordingly. It's a great feeling.
In addition to Inner Game, Fader also covered each of the stages of the Emotional Progression Model while adding in his own thoughts. The material was definitely not just a rehash of "Magic Bullets." As you can read in other reviews, he is also constantly integrating new thoughts and ideas into his seminar, and he also teaches material that he came up with that I found very helpful, such as his Value-Compliance Model.
Out of the six guys (myself included) who attended the seminar, three of us went on the in-field portion, and the field is where everything discussed in the seminar came together. For the first time, I really began to see the social "Matrix" unfolding around me, both through being in set myself and having Fader pinpoint my mistakes and watching the others guys while Fader gave a play-by-play to what was happening that was good and bad, as well as watching Fader himself interact with women. They would go from static and unanimated to laughing and touching him after he talked with them. That Fader has solid game there can be no doubt.
One of my specific goals for the bootcamp was to push myself beyond my comfort zone in social interactions, a goal I definitely accomplished. After getting blown out the first time, I realized that I just didn't care! My approach anxiety was there, but I ignored it and opened anyway, and after a couple of sets, it was barely there at all. This stuff is fun if you let it be fun! I'll never again meet women who "reject" me, just women who clearly have bad taste in men, which saves me the time of interacting with them. And with Fader breaking down the interaction, I began to quickly understand my mistakes and work toward fixing them.
Fader is also known for his stripper game, so after the clubs closed on the second night, he took us to a nearby stripclub. Unfortunately, due to circumstances unquestionably beyond his control, he wasn't able to game any of the strippers, but I'll leave that story for someone else to tell. Nevertheless, I did gain some insights into stripper game that I may work on sometime in the future.
After the first two days of seminar time which were jam packed with information, on the third day the class got to select "modules" to learn about--Day Game, AMOGs, Social Circle Game, SNLs, etc--which I feel I also got a lot out of, and it is cool to know that each class can get different material tailored to their needs.
There were also some pretty funny situations that came up in field, one where Fader told a girl that she was "making [him] think negative thoughts about her," (instead of inappropriate thoughts) and one where a woman told him she was 39 years old, but he thought she said 29 and so he gave her the "come on, are you serious?" face. Good stuff. I have to admit as well that the infamous "Faderade" is pretty tasty.
A few tips for guys who take one of Fader's bootcamps in the future. If you are coming from out of town (as I was), I recommend staying at the same hotel where the seminars will be held. This will make your life simpler. I also STRONGLY recommend that you bring a laptop to take notes on because there is no way you'll be able to keep up with him by writing and you'll want to take a lot of notes. Although it's not strictly necessary to have read "Magic Bullets" before you take a bootcamp, I recommend reading it through at least once so that you have an understanding of the structure of the game and what you will be learning. Reading some books like "The Game" and "The 48 Laws of Power" won't hurt either, but they are less important than reading "Magic Bullets." If you've been part of the community for a while, you've probably read them anyway. Be prepared to answer a few questions about yourself at the start of the seminar on Day 1; in particular, know what your personal goals for the bootcamp are and how you will know if it was a success. Finally, I recommend working on nonverbal communication issues and your game in general because the higher your baseline, the higher your finish line will be.
I don't have any thrilling stories of threesomes, SNLs or making out with some girl in the corner to tell you about, even though with some of the women I talked to I could definitely have gone farther with them. I wasn't suddenly magically transformed into a smooth-talking Casanova. I haven't learned any "Jedi mind tricks" to effortlessly make women like me. So how then do I know my weekend was a success? My primary objective was to get outside my comfort zone and learn how to approach and work my way through the stages, and everything else was just gravy. Did I accomplish my primary goal? Check. Fix residual nonverbal communication issues? Check. Come to a much deeper understanding of social interactions? Check. Come away with a new attitude and enthusiasm about being social? Check. So what that I didn't bring any women back to my hotel room this weekend? If someone hit rewind on my life, I would take Fader's bootcamp again without hesitation. It's a lot of money, but as an investment in my own life and happiness, it was unquestionably worth it.
So to close, to borrow the analogy of game as a house again, this weekend, starting from an empty lot with a few bags of concrete mix lying around, Fader helped me build a strong foundation that will last me for the rest of my life. Then, he brought me all the rest of the tools, building materials and plans that I will need to continue building where we left off, and now it's my job to continue working to finish what we started. You get what you give. I'm not worried that I didn't hook up with any women this weekend. That's not the point.
If you build it, they will come.
Avarice did a great job reviewing Faderís Seattle bootcamp so Iíll just add a few things that were important to me personally.
As others have said, Fader is a very high energy guy and he covers a lot of material. Bring a laptop to take notes. I tried the first day with pen and paper and I couldnít keep up Ė it was much better taking notes on a laptop.
Fader spent way more time covering material than the 15 hours we all expected, and when he finished the standard b/c material on Sunday he then added several topics that were selected by the class. You get a lot of added value from a Fader b/c.
Fader started the b/c with a lot of material on inner game that was really solid and helped to anchor everything that followed. Iíd read some LS material (Magic Bullets and Routines Manual) before attending the b/c but Faderís material on value and compliance was something new and did a lot to explain why the b/c material works. And if you understand why the material works then youíll be much more confident using it in the field.
The b/c was already sold out when I registered so I was only able to attend the seminar portion, but I did get to see Fader in action with a hired gun (bartender) during dinner. We happened to be at a place that I know well and this was a bartender that Iíve known for a year or so. This girl is known for being an ice-queen and Iíve seen her shoot down dozens of guys, but Fader had her wrapped around him within a few minutes of entering the bar. She was smiling, laughing, hugging him, and giving him all sorts of IOIís. And twice when Fader started to walk away she went running after him to bring him back! It was awesome to watch and provided a powerful example of how good this material can be when you really know how to use it. I missed out by not getting the in-field training and I definitely recommend the full b/c over the seminar only version.
Thanks for all the kind words. What happened in that strip club will stay in that strip club. I will be doing one more seattle workshop around spring of next year. Hope to see you guys!
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