Overview
A lot has already been said in the previous reviews about the format of the
seminars and about the general structure of the event (thanks Nicky and the rest of the guys). Given that, I’m going to focus only on specifics in my review.
The first thing that stood out and that I really agreed with was what Bol said about the
bootcamp not being a “one size fits all approach” to training us. There was an intelligence to the way the material was taught that I really appreciated.
As Bol said above,
Mr. M tailored the
Bootcamp in two ways. First, when he found out that seven of us were a fairly close-knit group who regularly went out together, he didn’t ignore that and just teach in a mindless way, churning out the standard stuff. He took it fully into account and adapted to that unique situation. Second, even with time constraints that made it impossible for him to cover everything, he tailored the teaching to each of us and spent lots of time on many different occasions during the weekend, working individually with each of us, both during the
seminars and also during the in-field parts.
This was good. Very good. I was impressed and surprised by the degree to which the training was tailored in both of these ways, particularly the latter.
Again, as Bol said,
Mr. M made a serious and admirable effort to find out about each of us specifically so that he could teach us in as personal a way as possible.
The only thing I’d change about the
bootcamp, if an extra hour could be added to one or two of the
seminars, would be to have more time spent on doing practical exercises with the instructors. The time we did have doing this was so useful that I was sorry we didn’t have more time. But as
Mr. M said, without adding more time, doing more practical work would mean falling short on the theory – which they’ve tried before and the result was that at the end it felt a bit “hollow” (because the foundational theory wasn’t laid firmly enough). I guess the only solution would be to make the
bootcamp longer ;)
The material that was taught has already been given a good “once-over” by the other guys so I won’t double up, but one example of something I learned that really helped and clarified things was (a) what the different ways of making women feel
attraction are, (b) how to use them, (c) understanding that the appropriateness, or lack of it, of using the different principles on which “creating
attraction” is based, depends on the context of the situation and on the logistics of the situation.
Examples
1.
In
Daygame, the main things to keep in mind as your guiding compass are intrigue and value-based
attraction, as opposed to, say, buying temperature
attraction, which for obvious reasons is more suited to night time, high energy environments. Does that mean you shouldn’t
tease or have fun at all? No, definitely not. What it means is that if she has no clue who you are and you just stop her on the street and starting busting her balls and then get her number, she probably won’t answer when you call because she will no longer be in the fun state you put her in when you met her and ... you’ll just be some random dude who she doesn’t know the first thing about. There’ll be more reasons for her not to answer than to answer.
2.
Similarly, escalating
kino is also context-dependent: If the context is a high street clothes shop, it must be done in a way that is appropriate for a first meeting with a stranger in the day time, in an environment where she is surrounded by other people who could easily become aware of a guy who isn’t socially calibrated hugging her and spinning her around like a madman. In a bar/club environment, people are in a very different state than during the day when they’re shopping or walking back to their office after lunch.
The tools work; but they should be used in a way that demonstrates that the guy understands how they apply to different contexts. Being really high energy, joking around and being very animated is a little less appropriate at a bus stop, in a supermarket, or in the doctor’s waiting room than it is in a raging party!
These are just two examples of many that helped deepen my existing understanding of how to use the principles that
Love Systems has talked about in the
LS Insider. In a way, this is the sort of GPS guidance system (the six ways of creating
attraction and when it makes sense to use them) that I’ve been looking for after several years of learning things in a less structured way. Less structure can be good in that it encourages improvisation which encourages creativity and “in-the-moment-ness”. However, as
Mr. M pointed out, the bad thing about not having sufficient structure is that hindsight is NOT 20/20.
In other words, having structure allow you to look back, after any interaction and examine what the hell happened, what went well, what didn’t and what to do about it.
I like this way of thinking as it is directed in a way that is conducive to constant improvement and development, which we all want.
The Night Sessions
When people have asked me whether I “go direct” or “indirect”, I didn’t think much about what “direct” meant - until the
bootcamp last weekend. I thought I was “pretty much” going direct, because I didn’t use opinion openers, because I hate them and feel like a chump using them, unless I’m in an art gallery or something, in which case I might say “what do you think?” gesturing to some painting she’s looking at.
In bars or clubs, or even on the street, I would just tell her how I felt, but in a way that made my reasons for talking with her not entirely clear. However, I would do that in a playful way, so that what my words didn’t make obvious, my vibe did.
Last weekend though and “Man Game” :) were different stories. I realised that “direct” really meant just that; telling her straight up why I am talking to her and “revelling in the act of expressing my intent and desires as a man” to quote
Mr. M.
Why is this approach cool? Well, I learned yesterday after a good street approach that wasn’t direct, that it could have been stellar if I had been direct. It’s already starting to click in my head, after just a few days of letting the whole
bootcamp experience sink in.
During the night sessions on the
bootcamp, on my first direct approach, I felt like a tool. It just felt cheesy and stupid – and like something every other chump out there would say. But I quickly realised that it certainly is NOT something that every chump out there says.
The idea is to create “a movie moment” where she is literally stunned. I heard Carlos Xuma say that guys’ using the word “stunning” to describe a woman is not a good thing when you think about what it actually means; that the guy is so bowled over and so affected by beauty, that he is temporarily incapacitated – like a deer in headlights.
So, for a change, in this “movie moment” the tables are turned and all of a sudden there’s this rock of masculine pulsing... testosterone, standing there waiting for the deer (her) to wipe the doggy dinner bowl look off her face so that the conversation can begin!
Something in me has definitely shifted and I feel almost ready to take out all the “softeners” - as
Mr. M cleverly called them - and start laying down the law.
The second direct approach was a horrible crash and burn disaster, but
Vercetti had already explained to me (in a previous set) exactly what I was doing wrong, so this time, doing it wrong again, I was able to look at it afterwards and think “NOW I know why that didn’t work!”
My sub communication showed straight away that I wasn’t comfortable with it and the friend (obstacle) reacted with a look that said “LOOOSERRRRR!” and I made the critical mistake of reacting to her reaction instead of ignoring it, or, better still, blasting through the shit test and putting her in her place, by, as
Vercetti said, “misinterpreting what she said and exaggerating it to a ridiculous fuckin’ level!”.
Over the course of both nights,
Vercetti was just the coolest cat in town! I learned SO much from this guy about being an unapologetically masculine man and having an unbreakable frame that reacts to the slightest sign of female bitchiness with a “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?!!!” attitude and takes no prisoners.
It was magnificent to watch this guy in action. I was trying to plough through this cute little brunette’s bitch shield, basting away and then... in steps the Panda Bear (
Vercetti) to kick some serious ass! She was putty, (PUTTY, I SAY!) in his hands less than a minute later.
Thanks V, that was a serious lesson in standards and setting
boundaries.
At the end of the first night,
Vercetti gave me and Tjin the most almightily ass-kicking, ball-breaking debrief that was equal parts hilarious, cutting – in a tough love way, and inspiring.
Vercetti, again, if you’re reading this; thank you, dude. I know that debrief was primarily for Tjin, but everything you were saying applied to me, as well.
Sheer Awesomeness. Be detached, be excellent, be gone. That is
Vercetti.
There was more of the same from V the second night – specific ways fixing my sub communication to make the direct approach work. When I went into a set, to try it, it all fell apart and I messed it up, but... I feel I have already changed in the few days since last Saturday night and the “excellent-ness” of
Vercetti will be seeping in for weeks and months to come as I go out and practice with my “Navy Seal Team”.
Mr. M was similarly fantastic, but in different ways. He pointed out stuff to me that has undoubtedly been holding me back for a long time. Again, sub communication. As
Mr. M said; “You have to fix your sub communication for the direct approach to work”. But he didn’t stop there, he made it very specific and told me what exactly I had to do to stop shooting myself in the foot – for example, I was a “mouth-looker” up until and for some part of the
bootcamp. I needed to look in people’s eyes! Pretty simple, right? Well, yes, if I had known I was doing it and that I needed to stop, but it had been an unconscious habit that I was unaware of.
Apart from that, there are the underlying reasons why I wasn’t comfortable always making eye contact for long periods and why it is so important that I get comfortable with it.
1. It is a sign that I was uncomfortable with tension.
2. Tension is your best friend when it comes to sexualizing interactions and raising the stakes! You gotta have tension! Vital. The release of the tension needs to happen at the, ahem, appropriate time – and not before:D
So, That’s One Small Step for Goose.... One... Giant Leap for Goose’s Game..
As if an intellectual understanding of this fact wasn’t enough, I had the one and only
Mr. M to demonstrate what the whole “creating sexual tension thing” is all about.
At some point during the time he was talking to a cute blonde on Friday night, I noticed that SHE was a “mouth looker”! I told her this, we teased her a bit about it and then
Mr. M continued... and taught her how to keep eye contact.
“Ok, look into my eyes.... no, no, you’re looking at my mouth again! Look into my eyes! Now, I’m going to count to ten and I want you to see if you can hold eye contact with me until I get to ten... one.... two.......... three............................”
With every digit, the line of dots got longer and longer, and the tension increased, more and more.... and more. At this point, their faces were about 2 inches apart...
I don’t know, but I’d be willing to bet that something was going on in this cute blonde’s pants – hee hee :-)
Now I get it, just like I get all the other things that combine to amp up the sexual tension, like proper
kino, moving around the venue,
push/pull (literally physically, as well as verbally), buying temperature and other
attraction principles.
Unfortunately, I didn’t get much time to work with
Keychain, because between doing sets, talking to the other guys, doing more sets, talking with
Mr. M and
Vercetti and doing yet more approaches, there just wasn’t time the first night.
However, on Saturday night,
Keychain pointed out what was to be the first set of the night for me. I went in, did my thing and came back, after which I got some very practical and solid advice on how to get sitting where you want to be in a set.
It turns out that it all comes back to Man Game :)
You pretty much take them by the hand, move them where you want them to be and then sit down where you want. I had “locked in” against the wall, but could’ve done much better by just moving two of them, climing over seats, tables, the bar, etc :) and unapologetically sitting where I wanted to sit. Being able to do this is not only great for logistics, but it demonstrates a ballsiness and confidence that few guys have. So it’s serves as an introduction in itself – a little over the top, yes, but with a little bit of
humour thrown in for good measure, you’ve got the perfect mix (do not quote me on that, readers, if you get beaten up!) and as
Keychain said, “they will go along with it”.
Who would’ve thought! I’m looking forward to trying that next time I go out.
Keychain also taught his “Rapid Escalation” techniques during one of the
seminars. They require some balls, but so does climbing over large
obstacles in a social setting to get to talk to the girl you want to talk to – so I’m looking forward to giving those a shot at the next available opportunity.
Finally, I want to say, that having been in the community for several years now, I have been around the block enough times to know that there are A LOT of guys out there for whom this whole “women thing” is.... a serious problem... that has a serious and dramatic effect on their quality of life and overall happiness.
People who don’t understand how someone could PAY so MUCH MONEY to learn about social dynamics and how to have choice in their relationships with women, don’t really understand the following fact, for whatever reason:
Learning these skills is important. It is not trivial and it’s not something to be laughed at or made fun of for. Personally, I went through many years of misery to get to where I am and I want to say that this is a noble path and the guys who teach it are doing great and noble work.
Some guys want to “bang lots of hot girls”. Some guys want to find “the one” and settle down. Either way, both of those things are important parts of the path of life for the guys whose goals they are. Will banging lots of girls make a guy happy? No. It’ll make him realise that guys and girls getting together is a normal part of being an adult human on planet earth – and that suppressing that (because he has no other choice – or very little choice) will make a guy unhappy.
It will also increase his confidence and eventually, when he realizes that he has “been there, done that and bought the t shirt” (and had a shit-load of fun along the way!) it’ll make him realize that he deserves to be with a great girl and .... to quote Mystery: “have a good life” and I would add, a happy one, because he realizes that he has choice and he’s staying with his girlfriend or wife not because he has to (because he thinks he has no other options), but because he chooses to.
At least, having travelled the path for quite a while now, this is what I know and feel to be true.
So, why pray tell, am I talking about all this irrelevant stuff? It’s supposed to be a
bootcamp review, I hear you say...
Yes, exactly. And the message above is my attempt to give credit where it’s due – to the mentors who teach this noble path of personal development.
My biggest personal breakthroughs have come from mentors in the community. You know who you are :)
Mr. M,
Vercetti and
Keychain - and all the other guys in
Love Systems and the other companies that teach this - are making real, tangible positive differences to men’s quality of life, and sense of happiness and fulfilment.
Who would’ve thought that picking up chicks could be so important? :)
Thank you,
Mr. M, you crazy, full-of-life and fun person, you!
Thank you,
Vercetti, you funny, ballsy, cool-ass mo fo’in Panda Bear!
Thank you,
Keychain, you Robert Plant-esque, rockin’ King of getting straight to the point!
And last but not least, thanks to my fellow
wing men for their camaraderie, and to Jeremy and
Savoy for putting this out there and making it possible for guys to get where they want to be as guys.
A milestone weekend on any guy’s journey to being the man he wants and deserves to be. 5 STAR EXPERIENCE – HIGHEST RECOMMENDATION | Who wants to change their abilities with women and dating FOREVER? |
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I really wanted her too - she was hella HOT. FUUUUCK!!! One of the other students, vetoed me into 
It was outside the club where I also witnessed 
. So I decided I should greet them. The first 2 or 3 sets I went indirect but didn't push them that far. Then I went direct... time to try this so-called "Man game". The first approach didn't seem to tough at all, when I can still clearly remember times out infield before the 
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