Stagnation - How to come out of it
Discuss Stagnation - How to come out of it at the Introductions within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Positivity & Proper Attitude My older cousin went through something like that, it was over ...
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- 08-19-2009, 03:02 PM #31
My older cousin went through something like that, it was over the course of like 8 years. I just got off the phone with him and he said that everybody's learning curve is different. He turned 26 last month. I told him a little about what I read here and I asked him how he was able to go from being a total loser with women to having comfort, confidence, and opportunities with women that he never had before, and he explained:
Positivity & Proper Attitude
My Older Cousin
"If you make an attempt at something with a negative attitude and an expectation of failure, fail, then you say 'I knew I was going to fail, this is so difficult, nothing is helping,' then internally you did not grow. You absolutely cannot grow until you start asking:
"What did I do wrong when I tried to open that set?"
"Maybe I fucked up when I said, 'You are the prettiest girl ever, I never thought a girl like you would want to talk to a guy like me, can I please have your number?"
"What sort of thoughts am I having when I'm out trying to meet women?"
"How is my body language? Do I appear confident and strong?"
The key is having a positive attitude, stop focusing on the past. Imagine if you were in a club or bar or coffee shop right now talking with a girl, making her laugh and smile at you. Then imagine she asks you 'Could I give you my number?' to which you flirtatiously respond, 'Oh lord, does this mean I have to call you?' Imagine seeing that beautiful girl again, except this time you're holding her hand, kissing her, wrapping your arms around her, laying her down on your bed next to you... How does that feel? Find that feeling inside, it's like butterflies right? If you walked around consumed by that feeling with the expectation that TODAY you will meet a beautiful woman who wants some sort of relationship with you (a great new friendship, fuck buddy, or maybe future girlfriend), then you will have a 500% advantage over some guy who only thinks about how many times they failed or how badly it hurts to get rejected or how unlikely a girl might respond that way.
Some people think with this frame of mind, "I will believe it when I see it." Which can translate here to, "I will believe this Mystery Method crap works when I try it once or twice and score a HB10, and THEN I will have the confidence and belief that I can score others." In reality, that isn't how life works. Any successful person (in ANYTHING, not just picking up girls) feels, "I'll see it when I truly believe it." Belief is a choice. Look at this thought pattern:
'I have struggled and struggled for years and years. I have received rejection after rejection and failure after failure. Despite the crap I have been through, I believe that the next time I approach a girl I will say exactly the right things I need to say to get her on her knees worshiping my rod of excellence.' Negativity and lack of faith/belief completely halts growth and development. No growth and no development will lead to further failures and rejections, and further failures/rejection will (unless you change your mindset) create more negativity and lack of faith/belief."
Yeah... Okay so that "cousin" is actually me, so what. For some people it takes a lot of time and involves a lot of rejection and failed attempts to get a handle on their shit. Is it worth it? Fuck yes, with an emphasis on the fuck.
And I realize that the guy who posted this thread has probably jumped off of his balcony or shot himself by now (he hasn't posted anything on this thread in 3 months), or maybe given up and will never see what I wrote here, but hopefully some of you other guys who might be doubting yourselves or considering giving up will keep fighting for just a little longer. The only person who can take you out of the game is you, and the only way to lose the game is to give up. When you're out there fucking up, making a fool of yourself, sweating, red-faced, nervous, giving women a reason to laugh about you the moment you turn away, as long as you are trying to improve, then you are winning. The moment you doubt yourself and doubt the system, then you lost and you'll probably never live the lifestyle of your dreams.
Am I there yet? Hell no, but where I'm at now is way better than where I used to be.
- 01-07-2010, 07:42 AM #32
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