salvation

“The truth of a hundred thousand lies”


The fates had a weird twist in store for me my 33 years on this plane
I at the end of my rope a slowly cracking reality collapsing in a heavenly face saved me from the darkness. 1a.m. at a closing coffee shop I met a woman... a girl really. 19-year-old Canadian that showed me a path she was the neon blinking sign needed in my life. On the cross rode lost for a decade and a half. Stagnant for better part of a year the malice and disdained

my over whelming loneness I not understanding what i do wrong socially always coming in 2nd beaten out by the better looking ,more popular or more talented. The standard mistakes i made the Average Fucking Chump i was still are in many ways. Lost in a dream of whom I pretended to be, lied to by the female hart though. The brain always said a particular truth i as a child believed the dream of love and truth disregarding the repeated lie of "its not you it’s me” in the quest to finely understand the beauty / mystery of women i never the thought when the bar lights came up in my life the truth would be so hideous. Every word that women have ben a lie have ben miss reparation of the truth. And the irony of it all they never lied to me they lied to them selves.


Joke time
An HB11 walks in to the bar ….I’m new in town (Ok it’s funny to me)

I own the restaurant connected to it. An utter fucking novice a cunt hair from an AFC. A well warn copy of “the game” has decorated my shelf for about 2 years. Partial read i have to step eight chapters 6. PDF copy “of rules to the game” has been on my hard drive for bout 2 months. I got to day 2 not being able to go any further. (Mission statement) I am in a unique place in my life after crossing the finish line of completing the last major goals I am a chef and own my own place (in the middle of the French quarter). I honestly thought that would be all it took. They never came actually it was taken as a pickup line and dismiss as bullshit. Have been in a slump for a year doing what every body has said to do “stop trying“. I have been chasing my dream this dream for two decades now stuck on the question.” now what?” The question what will make you happy? I know nothing can. You have to become happy call that a life lessons 3 decades of pain loss and abandonment.


HB11 cries to me why what did I do. He hurt me… (Fucking deja-vu)

I realized if I was ever going to get a girl like this one I HAVE to act exactly like the ass hole. But this one is special she deserves an exception she deserves a chance. At this point, I was reading on the forums and reading I knew game theory push pull, electric conversation, 7-hour rule, Kino and AMOGing in theory. I truly knew what not to do but I truly neded a controle grope a final chance for womankind to redeme themselves for me, my inner child, my mother (the first women to teach/lie me how women “really” want to be treated) for my 33 years of believing.



HB11 I think BJ thinks were dating (just as planed)


Night of drunkenness steamed on by the last week my 2nd from last GF (8 years ago) the only one I have ever broke her hart died of hart brake (congenital hart failure) its 80’s night at a popular club in new Orleans the HB11 invites me to the place after she ditches her date (IOIs??) I think this is the 3rd time she invites me to some ware to do something and snub’s me but as an AFC I do nothing by this time I have bought her one “perfect gift “ wife beater with w winged harts on it. Was sure very in essence to watch my self in the third person I had a blast opened a set after HB11 left. I opened with a couple of lesbians’ HB4 HB6 (practice for bigger fish) f-closed with HB6 of them number closed with theHB4 its weird AMOGing your ordinal target. Not bad for my first night out sargeing ALONE,
.



HB11; what am I going to do BJ thinks wee are going out (omfg the non game is working)

In the height of Hurricane Gustav, she started to work for me “volunteering” IOIs abundant. In the binging, she assumed the role of waiters. I was the only game in town, in more then one way (it takes an act of god to get me to score with a woman….NOT!) As the huracation escalated, I cooked for the entire white house press core twice. My little lunch counter was a hit. See every body ells left town the New Orleans evacuation. all so including HB11 B/F OF TWO DAYS he told her threw text that he’s not coming back(I won) his parents wont allow it. My shoulder was salted aging. I play the non-game perfectly every AFC mistake possible by this time I let slip I loved her twice (I did. I fell hard with this one) and she said it once” Accidentally” if it wisent for the community I would of never pick upped on it. it is fitting the last salvation would win my hart and be the last women to hurt me one way or another…by this time I have found her asparagus in the middle of a hurricane
All the signs were their just never K-closed 17 distinctive moment’s chances if you will. No manipulation no tricks as the time rolled on I has to know a little about her the tattoo of a winged hart wrist. Drew references to the hart with three swords on my back (each hart was missing a piece of the hart had) as the hurricane de-escalated the city started to returned to normal and the BF comes back. I ask to speak to her mainly to confess the wrenching… (Enter whine emo statements hear and repeat it for a half hour) …. But I needed to run to Sam’s club my shop was running out of everything. She stood me up (for the seventh time I wanted to kill the AFC I was)

HB11… (Silence is only golden to those who are not weighting to hear something…..ANEYTHING)

Days continue she combines a montage of mixed signals HBll says with Demeter and timid “we we really need to go to Sam’s” I get in the bar she ignores me. HBll is in the kitchen she invades my personal bubble touches me ever so softly, “I’m going to get him to love me and break his hart”. Since the B/F has entered the picture 1on 1 time with her has been non-existence in retrospect I relies it was not my cloths, job ware I lived, it was solely based on attraction and popularity. I hate society. The funniest thing was in confidence I told B/F she was my controle grope and I was not going to use one drop of game. as I was reflecting I think that she was told “I was looking at the forums and I’m a player a bad one” it’s the secret I was going to reveal the 3 days prior I asked to talk 1on1 AFC mistake being way to truthful. Late that night I, texted a hart filed emotion all out
At this point, I was cracking every fiber of my body every wisp of my sole I gave my all I do not want to die alone the gods of all that is and was why am in the middle of this game





You just got your phone you don’t know what was said (Your fucking kidding)
In retrospect I think it was molly a refugee from the war state of Minnesota she was a HB7 when I met her…I rate her as a not an option now one of those truly ugly people VAIN egotistical my shit…
… I could continue but I reall don’t feal like devoting a half hour to me insulting a non-option the days continued and life


HB11 “And I’m ling their naked and he says I need to get my head strait ….Waite you was not supposed to hear that “(fucking irony)
The last day …


Lost and abused of life death living



Soulless

High-pitched laugh echo threw the mammoth marble lined halls
Of the chambers use to house the reminisce of my bleeding hart
The dust litters the ground 2'' deep result of countless heartbreak
Mated in places by the blood tears shed over 3 decades of heartache
Gaussian swirls wefts of hints of emotion is the only thing that disturbs the eerie stillness

Off in the far background a child plays (He looks like my son)
Unaware of the end I am contemplating for him.
Protected this long out of principle
I realize now it is him or me death of my inner child
Or, the death of me.

O god I need a set of any set look a HB10 Michel a friend of mind blah blah manger crap shop talk(scope the target work the room).
HB10 {looks once) blah blah blah owner blah blah (twice) blah blah money blah blah (three times)
(Now over the shoulder) Ooh nice pants I have a sward eye threw hart on my back my three of swards tattoo
Back to mikelchel have (slight neg.) they look like pajamas ….
Push pull dance the wind rips of my face now target weather comment \
DHV yah I gust cooked threw gustov back to buddy ….
As the convo drifts to Michele dips
Hb10 idle chitchat DHV DHV (Shit this almost scripted)
AFC mistake (spoke to soon)
DHV DHV
HB10 I travel and sarge oh, it is something I do.
Hatter: (…what?)
Convo continues
HB10 I have Sarged in la NY….
Oh, stop the presses
S so on day 3 of the rules game I opened a set with what would be my new wing…

We hit the clubs the following night…
And the rest is history
She left soon afterward
6 days latter she left the new Orleans changing her number wile I understand every game has rules she is playing her own. This remains to be the only women to ever in my life to be completely honest . not manipulate and give mixed singes to use me fore being overly nice od be compley true and up front with what she wanted needed and hoped.

the wings that was ripped from my hart was put to the winds of the outer bands of hurricane Ike and one fell On the corner under a sign that could easily read as “envy “ and in French is “wish” or “desire” I met an angel… Sarah winger I really don’t know if she was real or the answer to my insanity her existence is ethereal now Meir scribbling on a website a whim of a memory. angel or demon sinner or saint she gave me the direction I desperately needed I’d thank her eternally. -Hatter



The Olney difference between an angel and demon is ware they been and ware their going

Credits role mindless self indulgence (strate
to video)

with variant of real world Mirabella of time and space of nola at the time mayor quoting storm of the century hatter and HB11in various bars and clubs in different dress looking over BJ

A chenel flip stylea seen cuts to the dougen stair well the credits stop
HB11:hay how u doing
Hatter; thought you wernt talking to me
HB11:no BJ just gets really jealous
Hatter: ((and your friends)
Credits sand music starts

As last of the credits role the as the song is finishing with
HB11 and hatter: singing a dewet to the last of the song


I never noticed
No, never noticed
You're so amazing
So amazing

I never said it
No, never said
You're suffocating
Suffocating

I never noticed
No, never noticed
You're beauty's fading
Fading

Cut to black