Dating troubles

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Dating troubles

Discuss Dating troubles at the Introductions within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Dating troubles Hi I'm new to the site. I have problems in this area I ...

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    Dating troubles

    Hi I'm new to the site.

    I have problems in this area I would say so need advice on some issues and situations I find myself in with women.

    I had a pretty terrible upbringing which is the reason for my problems. I have no issues chatting to women but taking risks is a problem for me and so usually you won't get anywhere no matter how attractive you are.

    Often I am not assertive enough and doubt myself when with a woman so she sees this hesitation in me and labels me as not confident. This is when it all falls apart.

    Thanks for reading



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    Hi, and welcome to the forums. I've moved this your first post into the introductions forum.

    A lot of guys have some extra baggage from their past that makes things a bit harder, amplifying approach anxiety, making rejections feel worse and possibly there will be some problems with intimacy and displaying interest in a woman. But that is all very solvable.

    There is a lot of good information that will get you off to a good start here: New? START HERE!.

    And maybe you want to tell us a bit more about your experience with woman and what you would like to get from joining this forum.

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    Thanks for the reply.

    In terms of my experience with relationships and women, I have little in all honesty. I'm 27, not a virgin but it has been a while since I got laid. The last five years have been difficult as I've been trying to resolve personal issues and trying to secure a good job with the latter being difficult and thus not helping my confidence. I've been seeing a girl recently on and off over the last 6 months but an inability to make a move or not knowing when to has scuppered things. She likes me but doesn't think I'm confident. And 6 months ago she told me I was a little shy. Plus she was out of an abusive relationship at that time and was quite needy I felt. Also the fact I don't drink makes it more challenging.

    I would like to get some advice on how to improve this area of my life. Also it would be good to learn from anyone else who similarly has alot of baggage and how they have managed to overcome it. Part of it related to a period when I was bullied for a good 5-6 years when I was younger and that has left big problems with self esteem, shame, anxiety, lack of assertiveness.

    Cheers

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    job20 is offline .
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    Just remember that the first person to 'see' the hesitation is you !
    You usually have about 5 seconds to correct it. Don't take my word for it. Try it out. If your still freaked out after 5 seconds act as though you don't care or it doesn't bother you then carry on as usual. Think of an excuse, change topics, act a little disinterested by looking away for a sec or just say I just remembered that I had to see someone about something and they are up stairs or are at the other side of the bar. But its probably best if you bypass this block altogether by practice having a conversation with random women.

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    The "baggage syndrome" you refer to works both ways. The women tend to have plenty of baggage to, whether it be from work-related troubles, past of current significant others, or family related, or even finding out they need expensive car repair and may not be able to get to where they need or want to go. I once took a lady I met at a social club out on a boat ride on Chicago's lakefront, and without explanatory details admitted that she was so preoccupied with things that were going on in her life that she really couldn't enjoy the outing. I did, however, give her somewhat of a gold star for keeping the date rather than cancelling. Unless you are in a steady relationship, very few cancelled dates ever get reschedules. I think dating is harder today than it was in times past, as many single women seem to be married to their careers.

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