Intro of a new member and 2 questions

Intro of a new member and 2 questions

Discuss Intro of a new member and 2 questions at the Introductions within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Intro of a new member and 2 questions Hi all, My name is Vincent and ...

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  1. #1
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    Intro of a new member and 2 questions

    Hi all,

    My name is Vincent and I am new to the scene.
    A smart fairly good looking "good"guy, funny, creative and socially aware that found out he needs to "grow a pair". I am a reasonable Salsa dancer and help out at classes of a lower level at my school, because there is always a shortage of men (instant DHV here). Lately I got interested in Kizomba (if you don't know what that is, check out youtube, can you say KINO?) After I have the basics down, I will be looking to wing or find some wings.

    I found this place after I recently broke up with my Long Distance Relationship (LDR) girlfriend for 3 years, just as she was about to move countries to come live with me. The thing was, she cheated on me (surprise surprise) and I got to a point where I didn't accept that behavior from her again. I am an open minded guy, so when we decided to go for a LDR until she finished her studies, we agreed to have an open relationship. She was my main girl, but I was allowed to meet others and so was she (guys I mean, although I wouldn't object to girls . The only "rule" was to keep each other in the loop. She didn't keep me in the loop, I found out and eventually I pulled the plug!

    So improving my skills and reading up on stuff, I see so much things that I did "wrong" before, basically being AFC and the like in and out of the relationship. Always getting the LJBF line even though HB friends said they really liked me and wished their BF's would be more like me... bla bla.
    Since I read up (2 weeks ago), I've invited 3 girls over for diner at my place to work on my comfort levels with babes and trying out some of the material. I am learning a lot this way.

    Anyway my 2 questions:
    1) What about stand-up Comedy shows as a first date?

    You guys say don't go to a movie on a first date! I get this, but how about a stand-up comedy show? Yes you are also sitting next to each other for the duration of the show, but I have noticed (earlier just friends dates) that the comedian does all the work for you. Puts her in the right state (laughing a lot), great conversational material after the show "...OMG when he said <routine> i was really ROFL" and you have this shared experienced, that other people just don't get because they were not there!

    2) Reading about all the things we (can) do, I am wondering..."what if my ex GF, did what she did because she met a PUA, when she cheated"? I mean, can I blame her for falling for their skills, when I am learning the same things???

    I don't have one-itis and I don't expect to be with her again, but I do wonder (and would appreciate it a lot) if you guys can share some insightful comments on this one.

    Vincent!



  2. #2
    Hrang is offline Certified Live Training Graduate Lounge Member
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    Welcome Vincent, looking forward to reading your field reports.

    Quote Originally Posted by Vincent69 View Post
    What about stand-up Comedy shows as a first date?
    It would never be my first choice. It doesn't really build much attraction or comfort to laugh at a person telling jokes on a stage, no matter how funny it is. Maybe if it's not too long, or it's the local comedy club with a lot of different performers and plenty of time to chat in between.


    Quote Originally Posted by Vincent69 View Post
    Reading about all the things we (can) do, I am wondering..."what if my ex GF, did what she did because she met a PUA, when she cheated"? I mean, can I blame her for falling for their skills, when I am learning the same things???
    In the type of LDR you described, it's almost expectable I guess. But in general, if I was in a very serious, traditional relationship, I would absolutely understand if she felt attraction towards a skilled PUA doing his thing, but I would expect her to turn him down as soon as the sexual tension started to rise.. Cheating is cheating and lying is lying. There really is no "I slipped and landed on his dick"

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    Hrang,

    Thanks for your reply!
    I realize that there is not much room for talk during the show, more after the show when I say "let's grab a quick drink".
    Thinking about using the shared experience and then state of mind/emotions as a good point to kino escalate.
    And this way I am sure I have a great time, regardless of the company.

    On your commments of my second question:
    Really appreciate the feedback because it got me in a weird "headspace".
    Anyway, it was the lying about stuff part the made me pull the plug and that should also be my focus when looking at the situation. Regardless whether the other guys were PUA's or not.
    Thanks again!

    More thoughts on this from the community are welcome.
    Last edited by Vincent69; 08-22-2013 at 06:51 AM. Reason: Typo's

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    On your first question: do whatever YOU like and want. If she likes it, she will be a good match for you.
    A first meeting is to get to know the girl - meet her alone at a public place, go to museums/ parks/ coffee shops/ walks/ do some sports/ ....
    If you know her already a Comedy Show could be a good idea, because it will give you something to talk about afterwards which normally is related to the man - woman thing you want to establish with her.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Vincent69 View Post
    I am wondering..."what if my ex GF, did what she did because she met a PUA, when she cheated"? I mean, can I blame her for falling for their skills, when I am learning the same things???
    funny question. Just be the kind of man you wish to be. In the end you have to answer to yourself for what you create.

    rule 1: leave the world better than when you found it

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