Discuss Gerben here at the Introductions within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Gerben here Hi, I'm Gerben and a newbie on this whole 'game'-thing. I'm in the ...
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- 07-13-2010, 04:35 AM #1
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Hi, I'm Gerben and a newbie on this whole 'game'-thing.
I'm in the thirties and never had a girlfriend so far and I think that's ok.
People think that you have to have a girlfriend or a relationship when you are at a certain age but I don't really care what other people think or do or what is 'normal'. I don't want a girlfriend just to be like other people so I can say:'Look at me, now I have a girlfriend too' (achievement unlocked).
Until now I had no interest in girls (no I'm not gay!). My friends all been married and divorced with children and lot of problems and shit so I'm not sure a relation will work for me.
The reason I'm here is because something happened last year. I fell in love with a colleague and I thought she was the only one and there would never be a girl like her in my life. So as I knew nothing about the 'game' I behave like a total wussy and I was constant afraid to losing her. I said only nice things and gave her a lot of compliments. She was very nice to me so I thought I was approved by her. Then when she visited my home I had to know if she had feelings for me so I asked for it. She responded with:'I don't know, I see you as a friend'. I responded:'Yeah, but we can try to have a relationship.'
When I write this I feel embarrassed, my frame of reference was totally different!
So, after another hopeless phone-call it was clear she saw me as JUST a friend, it felt like I was totally useless and my self-esteem was dropped to below zero. What was wrong with me? I was very nice to her and she could trust me! Oke, it's just me, I am what I am and therefore not attractive to females and there's nothing I can do about it!
Then I searched the Net for info on this subject and there was David D.
I read his book and watched some seminars. My eyes were opened! There was hope for me! So now I'm absorbing as much info as I can just to see things in another perspective.
My main goal is NOT to 'get laid' (I see this as a natural consequence) but to become a better person without social fears and become (more) attractive to women. I don't understand why many guys find it so important to show others that they get laid very often. Are you not 'man' enough if you don't have sex with a woman? I don't think it depends on that!
Anyway, that's my story and within two years I am a PUA