Frustrated Doesnt Begin To Describe Me

Frustrated Doesnt Begin To Describe Me

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  1. #1
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    Frustrated Doesnt Begin To Describe Me

    I'm Will, and I've know about PU for a while, maybe 8 months or so, and it's not going anywhere for me. My friends that are also in "The Game" tell me to be confident, but I don't see where or why I should be. My AA is rediculous, to the point I will go out of my way to keep from talking to girls because I'm down right mortified. I'm decently smart, I know a lot about history, and girls don't give two shits about, and I'm a parts guy at a BMW dealership. I live with and take care of my Grandma, which is a DHV, but I don't know how to convey that without sounding "try hard". I'm not good with words. I'm very direct and blunt with what I say, and tact is not my forte. I'm using this forum as a last resort, because the members of another foru were dicks, which I'm accused of being from time to time. I don't really believe in this stuff, because I haven't seen it work. If this fails, fuck it, I'm gonna be leaving this "community".



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    Hey man, thought I would post my two sense.

    Of course this stuff won't work if you don't give it a chance, you need to jump out of your comfort zone and start talking to girls. Every time you get rejected you learn what not to do, even if you go out and get rejected 20 times you are winning.

    I still haven't perfected my game yet, but I'm defiently seeing improvement. You have to take even the smallest things as an achievement. Start out small. If you only talk to one girl a night to me that's an achievement even if I do get rejected, because I know for a fact before I would have never even attempted to talk to her.

    People really do want to like you, no one wants to be a social outcast. They have no reason not to like you because they don't know you, and if they do reject you it's your opener because how can they get to know you in that 2minutes?

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    Well I don't see what to do different when I can approach, usually after a few beers. I've tried cold reads, I've tried Cs V Us, jealous girlfriend, and every girl looks at me, cocks her eyebrow, and turns away. I got so tired of the shit one night I told a girl to eat shit and die and another to go play in traffic. Honestly, I'm beginning to think this stuff is getting old.

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    History can be a real DHV. I study astronomy myself and you'd think explaining Einstein's general relativity theory is like the nerdiest thing to do, but I use it all the time and girls (and guys) are hanging at my lips. Try to mix facts with opninion. What do YOU think about Mengele in the second world war? Why hasn't anyone heard of Unit 731?

    Or, to be a bit more positive (the stories above are a little bit too negative), tell about some fun history (there's a story about my home city (Nijmegen, the Netherlands) about a boy that accedentally disarmed a bomb that would blow up a whole bridge, it's an interesting, positive story).

    So just think for a while about how history can be fun to talk about, some small stories, and mix it with your opinion.

    Now your AA. I personally hate it when people say to "just go out and face it", because that's like the hardest thing to do! Give yourself really small goals, like:

    - Say hello to one girl who walks by
    - Ask for directions (even though you know them, who cares, they don't know!)
    - Ask for the time

    Things like that, and start small: one girl every day. After a week or two, you'll notice that it's not even a challenge anymore to ask for direction, so you ask something else, and you're ready to do some openers. But not now, first focus on these small things.

    If you're too direct then you need to talk more to more people (for example to give your opinion about something that starts a discussion. You have to defend your opinion so you need to talk ). Talk a lot more with your grandma, your friends, talk a lot with the people you know (this is easy as you already know them). Talk, talk, talk.....

    So my advice is: talk and start with small steps. Good luck!

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    It's more about HOW YOU COME ACROSS than the words you say. I think something like 80% or more of communication is non-verbal. That means, posture, clothing, eye contact, tonality, volume, proximity, etc.

    Do some searching on youtube for demonstrations of what to do and what not to do. You'll start to pick it up.

    There's also the show on VH1 which I found extremely useful. Watching the narrated field tests allowed me to recognize A LOT of my own mistakes, and correct them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Phateless View Post
    It's more about HOW YOU COME ACROSS than the words you say. I think something like 80% or more of communication is non-verbal. That means, posture, clothing, eye contact, tonality, volume, proximity, etc.

    Do some searching on youtube for demonstrations of what to do and what not to do. You'll start to pick it up.

    There's also the show on VH1 which I found extremely useful. Watching the narrated field tests allowed me to recognize A LOT of my own mistakes, and correct them.
    Exactly, maybe you are coming off as you have practiced this a lot. Something you are doing isn't right. As much as I do use routines I usually go for more of a natural approach. I know some of these routines work because I have seen results. What I mean is I focus on more having fun then anything, and just screwing with the girls(teasing them non stop) which doesn't always work because I tend to forget to transition or isolate.

    I have a few routines I stick to(The horse girl is a favorite of mine) but most of it just is making other peoples nights more enjoyable compared to if they never did meet me, without looking like a clown of course(but I am guilty of this as well).

    I still have very bad AA sometimes, but if I am in a group setting that AA goes away almost instantly, because I feel like I am on top of the world when I am in a group of friends who value me being there. If you are having a lot of fun with your friends, bring that energy over to the girls you want to open.

    For me it's all about getting into the mindset that I am going to have fun tonight no matter what happens.

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    Sednax, I focus on 19th Century US History, namely the Civil War, and I'm very opinionated and, really not trying to be cocky, but there's nobody around my area that holds a candle to me in that time period that is under 25. There's a few positive things, a few humorous things, but really, who wants to hear about a ship's captain blowing himself off the first below sea level flushing toilet?

    Phateless, I reckon I don't have anybody to coach me on the 80% you mention, but as far as the 20% goes I'm better off with my mouth shut. Also, what show on VH1 are you referring to? I never watch that channel. If it's not sports, drag racing, or history/Discovery, I don't watch it.

    Kruise, obviously something I'm doing isn't right, else I wouldn't have posted my intro as such. Maybe my "teasing" goes too far, I've been told I don't know when to stop and what to and what not to say. As far as groups, I stay far away from groups, usually I fail, and I don't need unnecessary people seeing it.

    I know a lot of my responses sound like cop outs or BS, but they are limiting factors of my game and life. I normally have a good time when I go out, but I always look back thinking, I wish I could have spoken to that girl or this girl, almost EVERY time.

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    Quote Originally Posted by willthethrill View Post

    I know a lot of my responses sound like cop outs or BS, but they are limiting factors of my game and life. I normally have a good time when I go out, but I always look back thinking, I wish I could have spoken to that girl or this girl, almost EVERY time.
    '

    My last post for you to ponder on. I don't know if you are just waiting for some game on a silver platter but you have to work on this stuff. You can sit there and be your own worst enemy and think of reasons why not to do something and feel the pain of what could have been. Or you could simple walk up to the girl, say something, anything. Sure she could reject you but to me rejection is better then not doing anything. If she does in fact reject you make a mental note never to do whatever you just did. Also you can re frame yourself by doing something a man of "high value" would do if he was rejected "Haha, you are like the mean girl from highschool, that is awesome.. does that normally work?"

    Then try a different approach the next time. No one said this shit would be easy. You have to work on it just like you work on everything else before you become good. Yes it comes naturally to some but so does baseball. The more you fail the more you will learn and it will pay off.

    Then again I don't really practise that much, and maybe that's why I am not great. But it really depends on how bad you want it. The routines/stuff I use I just keep in my back pocket ready to come out whenever.

    I think you just assume no girl likes history, which might be the case. But girls do like smart guys. If you want to bring up history or she asks your interests, throw in some qualification by straight up saying your feelings. I don't know how old you are but you could try something like "I don't normally tell girls my age/girls under 25 that I love history because girls our age are haven't realized history is who we are and is why we are the way we are"

    for one, if she is wondering what your interests are, she is interested in you. If you bust that out, there is no way she is going to want to look stupid in front of someone she is interested in. Now guess what? You just started normal conversation in an interesting way, about a topic you know a shit load about.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kruise View Post
    '

    My last post for you to ponder on. I don't know if you are just waiting for some game on a silver platter but you have to work on this stuff. You can sit there and be your own worst enemy and think of reasons why not to do something and feel the pain of what could have been. Or you could simple walk up to the girl, say something, anything. Sure she could reject you but to me rejection is better then not doing anything. If she does in fact reject you make a mental note never to do whatever you just did. Also you can re frame yourself by doing something a man of "high value" would do if he was rejected "Haha, you are like the mean girl from highschool, that is awesome.. does that normally work?"

    Then try a different approach the next time. No one said this shit would be easy. You have to work on it just like you work on everything else before you become good. Yes it comes naturally to some but so does baseball. The more you fail the more you will learn and it will pay off.

    Then again I don't really practise that much, and maybe that's why I am not great. But it really depends on how bad you want it. The routines/stuff I use I just keep in my back pocket ready to come out whenever.

    I think you just assume no girl likes history, which might be the case. But girls do like smart guys. If you want to bring up history or she asks your interests, throw in some qualification by straight up saying your feelings. I don't know how old you are but you could try something like "I don't normally tell girls my age/girls under 25 that I love history because girls our age are haven't realized history is who we are and is why we are the way we are"

    for one, if she is wondering what your interests are, she is interested in you. If you bust that out, there is no way she is going to want to look stupid in front of someone she is interested in. Now guess what? You just started normal conversation in an interesting way, about a topic you know a shit load about.
    I've tried being direct with my approach, and I've tried a FTC thrown in as well. As the old song goes, "Shot down in flames..."

    I've generalized every girl not liking history simply due to the fact the girls I'm interested in don't care about it. You'd be surprised at the number of people who don't care who or what they are. I've never had a girl ask my interests. Usually I struggle for conversation, and wind up with that as my only option. We all know how good girls love talking about flow charts of a LS7 head or the M1842 Springfield!

  10. #10
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    I love posts like these because it shows that even a good looking, successful guy can have some trouble with game (just like me). Theres nothing wrong with you, it just takes practice and a lot of confidence. I am currently lacking in the confidence department, which is really holding me back. I would stay away from topics like history. I love history, but sticking to more normal, everyday topics may be your best bet, like pop culture. Try to not be so blunt with girls... I understand that that is who you are but I've learned that game is more about having word finesse, and not just calling it as you see it. Additionally... dont forget it is a numbers game!

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