Dutch guy from Beijing

Dutch guy from Beijing

Discuss Dutch guy from Beijing at the Introductions within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Dutch guy from Beijing Hi all, Since I've been looking around on this forum for ...

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  1. #1
    Rik
    Rik is offline
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    Dutch guy from Beijing

    Hi all,

    Since I've been looking around on this forum for some time now I thought it would be nice to introduce myself and actually get more active in posting than just reading. I am an 18 year old guy who's living in Biejing for at least two years now.

    I always had a pretty active live when it comes to girls, but I actually never been good at it. Yes, I am very much able to pick a girl up in a club on the dancefloor and get here back to my home but meeting a girl in an other place always been pretty much impossile for me, same for getting a girl on a second date. I just don't know what to say to people I've just met (same for guys i just met). I think I just get the girls because I am good looking and most certainly not because I am such a fun guy to hang out with. I think getting to be more talkative is the most important thing to change in myself, and ofcourse thereby also the hardest thing.

    I started getting interested in this PUA stuff because I always thought that I would become more talkative when i grew older and that is why I didn't pay much attention on changing it. By doing this it only grew worse so then I realised that I have to put effort in it to change it, and so I am doing right now. First thing I changed was getting rid of my AA, and as hard as i thought it would be, as easy was it to do so. I just noticed that girls acturally wanna be talked to by someone in clubs and even on the street. Although I find approaching on the street still pretty scary because my conversational skills are way more tested there than in a club. So I am already pretty happy with what I have achieved so far, but know that I have to work way harder to get a good game, because now it stills sucks big time.

    Any of you guys have advice how to upgrade the conversational skills? should I write down some stories and retell them to people on the street/clubs for instance?

    xx Rik



  2. #2
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    The dead simple dumb advice I would give you is: practice! And if your only problem is conversation, I mean no approach anxiety or anything, you don't need to seek for someone you want to sleep with to practice, just practice with everyone you can. Talk to the lady in the shop when you go buy milk or cigarettes or whatever, you live in Beijing, I'm sure you take the cab all the time, talk to the driver, and I'm sure there's a guy paid to wait and watch at the entrance of your building, talk to him too.

    I don't remember where I saw this, but the thing is you meet many people everyday who you only have functional conversations with, like in a store you will ask if they have some lighter colored jeans than the ones you're looking at right now or ask for your coffee to be really dark at a starbucks or your taxi driver to go to your house. These are functional conversations, but you can also talk to them about other things.

    This way you can train yourself being talkative without risking anything.

    Examples: here in Beijing, my tailor knows about my last holidays, and I don't need to show him the receipt when I come back as he knows me. I used to know a few bar owners. I try to practice my chinese lessons with the drivers etc...

    So talk to people you don't feel committed to as frequently as possible, it's easier and trains you.

    A few "challenges" you could try:
    - I've read that recently: open a dictionary, pick up 2 words, and try to go talk to someone using those 2 words.
    - What a friend of mine also tried to do is: try to talk to someone for 1 / 2 / .. 5 minutes without letting him reply. Talk talk talk (don't try this on someone you want to keep around though!!)


    As a starter, if you need, you could prepare a little story you want to tell. But maybe just the general thread is enough.

    Hope that helps!

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