WARNING: This goes beyond simple pickup. If you are here to get routines and gimmicks, then you will not like the following post. However, if you are here to better your life, and discover all the ways in which you can be the best man you can be, then you may proceed.
Be Human; Avoid Perfection
You are probably wondering what I’m talking about. So let’s get down to brass tax. We all have at least one thing (sometimes several) that we just hate about ourselves. It can be a lack of confidence, lack of ambition, physical imperfections, and any and all things you can think of. For me, it was always physical imperfections.
Since I was 9 (sheesh, 11 years ago), I was an overweight, low self-esteem boy. What can I say, I love eating good food, and still do. As I discovered the community, my self-esteem skyrocketed, but I was still overweight. It was always a source of pain for my ego. I used to think that no woman in her right mind would want to see me naked. I couldn’t rationalize it away. Even in the movies, an overweight man could never pull the girl in the end. I tried several times to lose weight, most times lasting no longer than a few weeks, as I lost my commitment, and deemed my self to be forever overweight.
After I started getting results, and started getting laid more, something happened that really put things into perspective for me. Sure the two girls who took up my offer to have sex in high school didn’t seem to mind, but I always kept my shirt on. However, as the notches on my belt increased, it really didn’t seem to be a problem with most girls. They didn’t care. I would lie in bed with a new hottie, both of us completely naked, and they didn’t shirk away from touching me, and kissing, and all that good stuff. It was around this time that I realized the topic that this post is about.
I realized that my inner game was rock solid. Nothing can shake me. I am the shit, and I damn well know it. My outer game keeps getting better and better. My body language is impeccable. I realized that I had tailored my game around my imperfections. It worked to compensate my weight to the point that girls didn’t care. I also realized that if my body was chiseled, that I might be too perfect. I had learned how to play fat guy game, which is different from average weight guy game. I think that these guys can get away with more, do less, than us bigger guys who have to be spot on.
Now to the meat and potatoes. There is no one in the entire world that is perfect. Even that HB10 with the dazzling personality; trust me, there are faults. But I’m going to ask you this. Would you really want a perfect woman? A woman who does everything the way you like: cooks you dinner (every food you love, every night), has amazing sex, rubs your feet when you get home from work, cleans and keeps your place spotless, dresses better than runway models, and is completely faithful, never even looking at other guys.
This sounds a little intimidating to me. I would feel like I would have to be constantly on my game (as if you aren’t already). It would get old real fast. Now look at it this way, would you rather have the same girl, who, say, doesn’t rub your feet every night, dresses moderately nice, and say has a few faults (she snores, burps, etc). I would like this girl A LOT better.
The reason why is that perfection is BORING!!!!!! Perfection leads to routine. Routine leads to boredom. Boredom breeds contempt. I don’t want a perfect girl. I want someone with a few flaws, as they seem more HUMAN.
How do we define human? Someone with emotions, logic, intelligence, and a heartbeat? Someone who is constantly trying to define the meaning of life? Someone who is trying to get ahead, and become powerful? Whatever definition you can come up with, there is one thing in common: we don’t come out of our mothers perfect. We don’t die perfect. Life is a constant struggle to better ourselves. Think about it, if you were perfect at, say, juggling and you did it everyday, for an hour, for 20 years. By the end of this time, it’s going to be routine, and you will not take the same enjoyment out of it. You will probably even hate having to demonstrate it all the time. Think of television actors. If it’s one thing they hate more, is that when people recite lines to them from whatever television show they are from. This is because it is routine for them. IT IS BORING. However, this is nothing better than learning a new skill, and constantly trying to become better. It makes you feel alive. It makes you feel human.
If I became chiseled, and started gaming normally, I probably wouldn’t have the same results as I did when I was overweight. Reason why: I would be coming on too strong. I could get away with saying less, but because it’s part of my game, I would still use certain routines that are not compatible with my body type. The result: the girl would feel uncomfortable with the new me. I would have to change my game in order to see the same results. A girl doesn’t want a perfect guy. Sure, that’s what she says, but we all know never to believe a woman when she says what she wants, or else none of us would be here. She would rather you be HUMAN, a guy with a few flaws, someone who is close to perfect, but not there. Because if you were perfect, you would drive her CRAZY. She wants you to have flaws to counterbalance her own flaws. This is the only way a serious relationship can work.
What I’m asking you to do is not change yourself for anybody but you. If you want to look better, do it for yourself. Don’t try to be perfect for anyone, because being human is more beautiful. Having flaws means you are a human just like her, and she will love you that much more because of it. Strive to constantly better yourself; she will love your ambition. Strive to comfort her; she will love your thoughtfulness. Strive to be human, and avoid perfection; you will be unforgettable.
*This post was influenced heavily by a great teacher named Pook. I wish to give him most credit for helping me to understand this subject.