Discuss Response to the Direct Opener at the General Discussion within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Response to the Direct Opener
Is there a way to tell early on if the ...
Response to the Direct Opener
Is there a way to tell early on if the direct opener failed or not? For instance, it seems like a lot of girls will be taken aback by the direct opener, so you can't really tell if they're surprised or whether the approach just isn't gonna work out.
Look for IOI's. You recongnize them I assume?!
Also, don't be reaction seeking after your direct opener. It lowers your value. Immediately continue talking so you don't give them the time to even react verbally. You could even neg her direct after your opener: (... = pause)
PUA: "Hey! I just saw you standing right there, and... I think you're to most cutest girl I've seen... in the last 10 minutes that is!"
HB: "blahblahblah"/hair touching*/prolonged eye contact*/silly giggles*
= You're in!
HB: "Okay/Thanks" (said coldly)
= You're NOT in! be unaffected by her reaction, continue talking/DHV'ing and use false disqualifiers. IOI's will follow naturally. If not, you're still doing something wrong
Don't Fail, Just Learn!
If you get ignored or locked out of the set w/ body language you've bombed. If they sit there and listen to what you have to say you are in.
direct openers have a time and place and they have to be done the right way. If you are going to compliment a woman on her looks you should balance it with a qualifier. The qualifier guages how it hooked and will help if it seemed lower value for saying it. One of my favorite direct openers was " I couldnt help but notice you and thought you were really attractive, but is there more than meets the eye?"
From my experience direct openers are usually more effective in day game and earlier in the night and right before the bars close.
In my experience the teo most important factors for the success of a direct opener are:
- How many people are around your Target? (Social pressure is the concept: I cant remember where I read it, but its not mine) If there are people around your target she is much more likely to feel uncomfortable, as she would look easy in the face of such crowd (yes, even if they are strangers)
- Is the target an introvert or an extrovert?
a direct approach is a strong psychological stimuli to a woman: if you give it to an extrovert (who seek stimuli) she is more likely to appreciate it, if you give it to an introvert (who fear stimuli) she is more likely to reject you. You can recognise an extrovert because she will appear more confident, might wear more colorful clothing, more likely to be loud, will generally not appear fearful or suspicious, and in many other ways.
On a separate note, direct game is quite ballsy, so I would advice you to just check that there arent too many people very close to the target, and that she does not appear in obvious distress. Then just go as if u think too much u surely find good excuses as we all doo...
You are looking at this the wrong way! If you are trying to calibrate as to whether or not the opener worked then you are making this so much harder for yourself. If you are still talking to her, if she is still listening to you, then you still have a chance. You know all the talk about being unreactive, this is what they mean. If she doesn't respond well to your opener, don't react as if she didn't respond well.
Originally Posted by anonymousgoddamnit
ALWAYS ASSUME ATTRACTION.
Assume every girl that looks at you wants you. Assume that ever girl that ignores you is playing hard to get.
You are the hottest guy in the club with the most value and she is lucky that you decided to open her and if she doesnt see this then too bad for her.
And another thing, openers are for OPENING. If you are talking to her, then it worked. You cant expect to build attraction, comfort, and qualify her with an opener. It's all about what you do next. Us guys see a girl and we immediately know if we want them or not. Girls are completely different. They are looking for a guy to build attraction and comfort and demonstrate value and confidence. This could take a few moments or a few hours. So dont worry about your opener, just focus on comfort and attraction.
Reframing is spot on - hidden ads
Very very interesting reply Mycer.
There's lot of literature in Positive Psychology around the concept of "Positive Illusions" In a nutshell, they have proven that those with a slightly rose-tinted view of reality succeed the most. But the key word here is "slightly". on the other hand, If you exceed, you might end up as a delusions-full psychotic, you'll make wrong judgements, and it will become more difficult to learn from your mistake because you wont see them.
So I think your idea of reframing is spot on but maybe a bit too far off... [ ur not always the hottest guy in any club, that's me! ]
question, as I'm pretty new here, please advice: I see that some ad hoc editing, complete with fake spelling mistakes, plus a link to a love system product on Direct Game has been added to the body of an answer I had previously given on this thread, so it looks like I've place them there. THAT'S TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE TO ME, and as much as I think that THIS FORUM IS AMAZING, I am thinking to stop using it right away If my messages are to be edited with hidden ads.
I noticed that certain terms automatically link to products. I donthink that was edited in, its just programmed into the forum. As for the editing, that is weird. I'm new here myself, I got no clue about that.
Originally Posted by almostfamous
Also to be clear about the framing that I'm the hottest guy with the most value... the thing is the hottest guy with the most value is confident in all his actions and speech, but also humble, as he has nothing to prove. Does Bill Gates wear huge platinum chains and diamonds to show off how rich he is? No, he has nothing to prove. Just as I don't go trying to convince anyone of my value, that would be counterproductive and show insecurity.
And a note on unreactiveness, that an instructor here wrote a great article on. It's not about being unreactive, it's about NOT HAVING NEGATIVE REACTIONS. If you get some IOD's, you can either completely ignore them, or neg her for them, or tease her or whatever. Like the classic mystery reaction, turn to one of her friends and ask "is she always like this? You can dress her up but can't take her anywhere."
Treat any IOD's as a shit test. They are testing your frame and reality of being high value.
According to Magic Bullets:
This means that she has to decide then and there, based on your thin slice.
Direct openers usually force a woman to decide whether she is interested in getting to know you.
Basically, the opener works if you don't get instantly blown out. According to Magic Bullets, if it succeeds you automatically get put into "normal conversation," which means the A2 phase.
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