Discuss Breaking out of AFC type thinking - how?! PLEASE help! at the General Discussion within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Breaking out of AFC type thinking - how?! PLEASE help!
What is the best way ...
Breaking out of AFC type thinking - how?! PLEASE help!
What is the best way to accomplish it? In particular I am thinking of:
1. Fear of rejection
2. Nerves about approach
3. Being more confident and outgoing in EVERYTHING you do
4. Not feeling as though a woman is too good for you
I am just coming out of a long relationship that ended sourly and ledt my confidence flat. I used to be a prolific puller but now feel so depressed that I can't think of any decent smalltalk to say!!!
Don't go into conversations with women with an aim to 'pull'. Just go with a view to chat for a bit, try a couple of openers and eject. Rinse and repeat. There'll be less pressure on you that way, because you're just chatting for fun, no biggy. You'll get more confident this way and be getting IOIs before you know it.
Thundercat's Art of Approaching ebook is pretty good about these things, so it might be worth checking that one out.
Remember: you've just been in a long term relationship. Wouldn't have had that in the first place unless you were a kickass cool dude which women want, right?
Her loss, your gain. Go find some hot girls to chat to.
1st off get your mind of of the gutterman! 2nd is I recommand reading the playerguide at fastseduction.com heres the link http://www.fastseduction.com/guide/ . At the same time learning that I recommand doing Mystery's noobie mission, if you look around you'll find it. After your done that go to Maniac's site and read up on the lay reports http://www.pickupguide.com/
That should give you a start, but I can't stress this enough DON'T BE A PUSSY AND READ THIS AND NOT GO OUT AND PRATICE! Its almost essential you do both.
Ha ha, cheers fellas.
I have posted before that I WAS a prolific puller before, but the problem was that the confidence was alcohol induced. I am thinking of hypnotherapy to get proper social confidence.
sdellis, start reading and watching whatever you can get your hands on. Before you even start aproaching girls, for Style's sake read The Game. (Neil Strauss) and try getting David DeAngelo's book. This should give you just enough soil to start.
than, go check out recommended reading thread. =)
The ghost of pua's past.
All of the above and read Unlimited Power by Tony Robbins.
sdellis66 this is what you gotta do.
Hey guys we are on Mysterys website so we better give him a plug ...well sometimes.
Seriously...I have just finished reading Mysterys Venusian Arts Handbook and have no problem recommending it...its f***ing awsome.
OK... sdellis66 this is what you gotta do.
1. You said you currently have flat confidence...this is good because you feel like locking yourself away for a while right? good. Lock yourself away with Mysterys handbook and read it.
People say (including Mystery that you have to sarge as well) I agree but if you are feeling low it may be best for you to chill a little.
Now whilst reading this book you will see all the mistakes you made in your recent relationship...I have just experienced this myself with my first reading.
People say go sarging 4 nights a week but if you aint got the mindset then you will need to recharge it -read the book-reflect and slowley get back you confidence.
Also, try not to get depressed as you identify your past mistakes -as you read the book you will see these mistakes. We all make them we are human. F**k I saw a some I just made. But at least you have the opportunity now to see them and learn from them.
Some people never get to see them and/or learn the game and continue to crash and burn not knowing why...you are in fact in a very good position. In fact, as you identify your past mistakes you game will improve in small increments.
2. OK...heres the challange. With you new found knowledge start sarging but remaining sober.This may be tough to start with but once you get going it wont take long for you to be successful again...But now you will have a past experience and new information. Believe me you will surprise yourself.
Do it without to much alcohol...drink lite beer if you have to. Your reward will be much bigger.
This is your mission if you choose to except it...This website will self destruct in 5 seconds...
Na seriousely...go for it
Last edited by Gogocat; 12-30-2005 at 05:39 PM.
^ Very good points
Keep in mind, if you go sarging with wrong frame (mindset) you are going to crash and burn and get even more depressed because you don't understand what is happening.
Assess your sarging experience. Make sure you either voice record or take notes asap. So you can analyze it later.
Be reasonably critical. Point out what you could have done different next time. Don't just fucking say: "oh i am such a loser i can't believe i said that" ...NO! NO! NO! Be positive. If you actually voice record, you'll notice how you improve and you will improve fast. (OF COURSE IF YOU SARGE)
OH Yeah! Before you go and do all that ...
"DO IT!!! Dooo IT!!! Doo IT!" (think starskey and hutch)
The ghost of pua's past.
Here is what I did to get over a fear of approaching, I went up and just asked girls to dance and that was it, didn't run any game at all. I did that and eventually had no problems approaching it may sound silly but thats how I got over mine.
I really feel strongly that you first must just go up and run an opener on people and then eject or just chill and let them eject. Once you get used to nothing coming of your approaches and get comfortable approaching the hardest part is over!!!!!!!!!!!