The Shut Up Challenge

In a previous post here, I talk about the "Silence Exercise"

Anyway, I thought that I would start a little challenge to the guys on the forum, do the Silence Exercise on at least ONE set, every time you go out, and report back here.

The person with the best Field Report will get a free 1/2 hour phone consultation from me. Bonus points for guys who post hilarious and ridiculous conversations.

What is the Silence Exercise?

I mention it in a previous post (link), but basically, the purpose of this exercise is to develop your non-verbal communication skills, and learn to handle awkward silences in conversations, by talking as LITTLE as possible in set, without getting blown out.

Basically, it goes like this: You open normally, or go in as a wingman . Once the set is engaged in the conversation (the "hook" point), you start playing. The goal is to talk as LITTLE as possible, without losing the set. You'll probably be surprised to see how WELL you can do while hardly saying anything.

In order to communicate, you're allowed (and encouraged) to do the following things.

- You can talk a bit - try and keep it to three word sentences or less. Cryptic and "deep" sounding stuff is great. Also, saying half a thought and trailing off works really well too "I noticed something...." etc.

- Focus on bodylanguage. Being locked in is really important for this exercise.

- Questions are OK. I know we're usually against asking too many questions, but you can ask questions in this game. You need to ask open-ended questions though, because if you ask a closed-ended question, your conversation will die quick.

- Speak slowly and with emotion. Creating maximum impact out of every word is important.

- Use eye contact and facial expressions to try and prompt more talk from your targets. Instead of asking her a question, or making a comment on something she said, just try raising an eyebrow and giving a quizzical look. The more you can communicate without talking, the more you're learning.

And post your results here!

Rain Check

Yo tenmag,

I didn't do the actual challenge but I have consciously been shutting the fuck up more recently. It's helped out a lot, since I used to talk too much and now I have more intrigue and sexual presence. I've also noticed that I've been more aggressive on the kino out of necessity, which has been a big sticking point for me.

Anyways, I'll do that challenge a bunch of times this coming week (inauguration week in DC- bars open 24 hrs baby). I'll post the best story here when I'm done, then i'm coming after your ass for that phone consultation .

This is a cool idea to have everyone do the exercise and give a little bonus prize along with it. You guys should hold one of these every couple of months or so. When's the cut-off date?

this should be good.

::chuckles:: This should be fun..

Sweet...

I was talking with Cajun about this when we were filming our Video Podcast (one of which should be up soon), and apparently he's played this game a few times with DaHunter .

His best three-word opener: "Phil Collins.... yes???"

My best one, used in London (and it worked!) was "You like Salad?"... followed a few seconds later with a very curious "Why...?". What's hilarious is that she actually answered that question for 2 or 3 minutes

sounds like a great experiment and skills building exercise

I tried this the other day on 2 sets. You ll be amazed what 3 words can make a woman say...

"So your story?"

Haha try this you ll remember me. The girls kept talking for like 30 minutes lol

Ok so I tried this one time last night as I was about to leave because I had just remembered, I literally gave no thought to it at all, saw the first cute girl (around an 8) and started up. This is the best I remember it:


*girl is sitting on a bar stool at a karaoke bar with her friend who said nothing the entire time except for giggle a few times*

Me: "Abortion. You game?"

Her: "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Me: "Right or wrong?"

Her: "Abortion? who gives a fuck this isn't hte place to talk about that."

Me: "I think...[I forgot I could only say 3 words and didn't want to cheat] alot"

Her: "Are you high?"

Me: "I like abortion."

Her: *she actually laughed slightly here but that may have been because her friend was cracking up* "Well good for you, please leave you're making me uncomfortable."

Me: "What's your opinion?"

Her: "I'm not going to talk about this here, I'm trying to have fun."

Me: *walking off* "I'm aborting you."

Her: "Good"

Me: *turned back around* "so...abortion good?" [I don't know why I said it like a caveman, I could have just said "so abortion's good?"]

Her: "Are you American or is this like your second language?"

At this point it was going nowhere so I told her that I was only allowed to say three words to her the entire time. She thought that was funny, we talked a little bit and I shoved off. She was cute but had bad teeth and that's a deal breaker with me.


I'm going to try it a few times tonight and see how it goes. I need to actually think of something good to open with.

Lol... ^^^ this is classic... hilarious.

Alright, first of all you get massive props for making me laugh. But I think the "abortion opener" can probably be safely canned. I don't think there's any way you can build attraction and comfort with a woman by talking about abortion.

Best lines:

Me: "I think...[I forgot I could only say 3 words and didn't want to cheat] alot"

Her: "Are you high?"

Me: "I like abortion."