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Discuss The 10 Emotional Needs of a Woman at the General Discussion within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; The 10 Emotional Needs of a Woman So ive heard this come up a bunch ...
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    Rack is offline Certified Live Training Graduate Lounge Member
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    The 10 Emotional Needs of a Woman

    So ive heard this come up a bunch of times from various sources with almost all positive praise.

    I have never really gotten into it fully. I know I do many of the below naturally and/or with different parts of my game, but has anyone got any insight on further breaking down this model, examples or field reports of its successes?

    I mean, I know I have pulled girls without hitting every one of the 10 below needs, how many are you supposed to hit? whats the deal?



    The 10 Emotional Needs of a Woman - Frank B Kermit

    1-The protection of her most valuable asset: Her Reputation

    2-Women want to FEEEEL a range of emotions. Do not try to make her happy, give her a full range from fury to ecstasy. This is a.k.a. her Drama Cookie

    3-Cater to the little girl in her. Know the difference when to ignore her ramblings and when she needs you to give her a hug. Sometimes she just needs to be reassured like a little kid

    4-Be dominant and take responsibility for leading the relationship. This includes making all the decisions, and taking 100% responsibility for the sex in the relationship. It all has to be the mans fault

    5-She fears abandonment. This is part biological programming, as in the event she is left with a child, she needs to be sure that she will not be abandoned, and left alone to care for it. This covers her emotional need to feel secure.

    6-Trust. The key here is if she can trust you to be honest with her; even if you know she will not like what you have to say. In a womans reality, she is used to people lying to her ALL THE TIME because of the way she looks, or they simply want something from her. If you are willing to piss her off with your honesty, you have demonstrated that she can trust you.

    7-Her physical safety. A man must demonstrate that he is capable of protecting her physically from the threats of the outside world. This is to make her feel safe.

    8-Women need to know you can handle her TRUE sexuality. She will only be as wonton with you as you demonstrate that you can handle it. She needs to explore her sexuality and let it be free with you as a Natural Woman

    9-Prove that you have high quality sperm by showing other girls want to have sex (procreate) with you, and/or you are a good catch and he kids with you will also be a good catch enough to also attract a mate.

    10-Prove that you are not a homosexual. She knows every homosexual male friend she has that is not out of the closet yet. Could you be one too?



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    stuff like this reveals the obsessive part of this community.

    everyones trying to be perfect, and not realizing that level of commitment to one cause is likely to create burnout and resentment.

    in many, many areas, the average woman does not put for the effort that the average guy on this board does. i think the rules of the lifestyle, when you get to see them just bumble through life as long as theyre good looking, can create points of contention.

    the resentment that practically everyone feels towards women after a certain level in the game is tough enough.
    I have failed with women. I guess i can be friends with them now.

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    Off what the last guy just said, I think he is right, to an extent. You get ass holes who go "vagina's rock!" [and then a woman posts going "personality?"] and the same ass hole goes "I qualify" leaving out the psychologically manipulative part [...so she feels like she earned me so that she will fuck me.] People who truly took the qualifaction phase to heart, as it should be taken, would actually be screening out women who they find unattractive instead of just going for 9s and 10s regardless of their personality. Those people who ignore personality are in some ways almost just as bad as AFCs.

    But, at the same time, I think "the community" allows people to achieve social calibration and helps so many guys in so many ways that it outweighs the occasionally objectifying and dehumanizing parts of the community. Many men go on to be more successful, and further more go on to appreciate women and no longer view them as menacing. The real pick up artists love women, people who are attempting to take on their persona don't, they will learn to though.

    I would also disagree about the average woman not putting as much effort as the average board member does. I think the average woman puts in JUST AS MUCH effort as the average board member on the forum does. Women read cosmo, and a variety of other relationship magazines. They talk to their friends, they spend hours buying clothing, they buy make up, spend hours dressing up before going out. They constantly are self conscious, going on diets and working out. Women put incredible amounts of effort into attracting men. Under that rationale, it is not unreasonable for men who want to consistently attract women to put a lot of thought into it. I think the real issue that was revealed by your post is that it is not socially acceptable for men to put effort into attracting women. Society holds the double standard that men who are attractive should be so naturally.

    As to the original post: I think it has some valid points and is basically parts of the mystery method just put into list form. I found point ten very amusing, and is actually an issue for me. My girlfriend and my last girlfriend both accused me of being "a good gay guy." I responded "Too bad I love vagina and anyway everyone wants gay guys to be straight." I need to work on that a little.

    :-)

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    I would say number 6 and 8 are the most important. Number 5 is important but mostly for long-term relationships.

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    Hmm seems not many people have heard of this. From doing a little more research but mostly just from thinking myself, thinking back on past interactions with women this is one way I believe the model can be used.

    You might even change the name of the model to emotional wants

    You assume that a woman wants to feel anywhere between 1-10 of those emotions. during an interaction, a woman will hint in some way she wants to see you do something that will trigger a particular emotional need. Probably in the form of a shit test, but maybe because of environmental circumstances.

    So the way you should react to the shit test / environmental circumstance is by doing something that will trigger the above emotions.

    I guess you can also look at them like attraction switches. If you are able to trigger the above emotions in a woman, you DHV yourself.

    So, examples:

    lets take number 4.

    easy thing here is to make the decisions, on say your date. all of them. this is obvious.

    another example could be on a SNL routine. say location 2. from there on you should start to make all the decisions, what to drink, where to go, if your going to eat bla bla bla. During this point, she may ask things like "so what do you want to do?" or "can we go someplace else?" etc...

    to deliver the emotional feeling of number 4, you shouldnt say "sure, what do you want to do?/where do you want to go?" you should come out with ideas.

    (I know this is obvious, just trying to break down the model, largely for myself.)

    another example, lets take 7.

    So 7 is something that will be a little harder for you to 'control' but you need to react in the right way if a situation arises around her personal saftey. This could be as simple as navigating through a large crowd, holding the closing train doors, pushing her to the inside of the footpath etc... things that you probably cant 'game' into an interaction. But she will be looking to feel that emotional need, and if you provide it, DHV.

    I guess the model can be used as a reflective model after a night, then when looking back you can try and see if you triggered enough needs or responded effectively to a shit test/environmental cirucmstance to trigger one of the above emotions inside her and this DHVing yourself. (and not just in attraction, im thinking you need to DVH through every phase, just a different type of DHV ie trust in comfort, sexuality in seduction etc...)

    potentially not delivering an emotional need in the right situation could DLV yourself and potentially ruin the interaction?

    mmm i dunno, just a mind dump.

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    ohh and Nihilistic, i really did not understand your post at all...

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    We're people, these aren't fact, they're one person's theory. A handful might apply to one, a handful might apply to another, but they won't all apply.

    I put my comments in italics -

    The 10 Emotional Needs of a Woman - Frank B Kermit

    1-The protection of her most valuable asset: Her Reputation
    Reputation can have all sorts of meanings. She might be a bad girl who doesn't commit to one man. As Joan Jett once said, "I don't give a damn about a bad reputation". Girls out on a bachelorette party bender? GGW? Amy Winehouse and Courtney Love? Some people are guarded, some aren't. I think most girls have a bad side...most guys hope for it, anyway. I think it's a bigger deal in high school than when they're on their own, exception is work-related. People want to keep their jobs, but if they made one porn with their boyfriend and someone in the office happens to recognize her? Reputation is important, but not necc. a good reputation.

    2-Women want to FEEEEL a range of emotions. Do not try to make her happy, give her a full range from fury to ecstasy. This is a.k.a. her Drama Cookie

    Male vs female mindsets. Mars vs Venus. Chick flicks, romance novels. If you're in for the short term, she wants the thrill and excitement. If she wants you for the long term, the thrill and excitement should be downplayed and broken out every now and then. Shake it up a bit, don't let it become complacent just because she's got the ring on and you have brats running around. There's a lot of books for guys on how to keep a relationship going, but they rarely read them, or heed its advice. Just like all those magazines that tell you how to get ripped abs. Means nothing if you do nothing with it. This is something some people have to be EXTREMELY cautious with,esp if they see what's in her medicine cabinet.

    3-Cater to the little girl in her. Know the difference when to ignore her ramblings and when she needs you to give her a hug. Sometimes she just needs to be reassured like a little kid

    BE THOUGHTFUL!! I can't stress it enough. On a random day, buy her a small, thoughtful gift. Even if it's not a holiday. Mark dates down on your Outlook or a place where you're not going to forget. Get Discount movie tickets to use at a later time. Gift card to a nice restaurant. Flowers, even if the excuse is that they smelled nice and would look good on the table (you don't have to say you took them from a gravesite or were at a gas station). Just random acts of kindness. You don't have to overdo it. You have no idea how big little compliments are. And listen to her when she wants to talk, don't give feedback. She already has her friends to get feedback from. Just respond and acknowledge that you heard her.

    4-Be dominant and take responsibility for leading the relationship. This includes making all the decisions, and taking 100% responsibility for the sex in the relationship. It all has to be the mans fault

    I try to find "collaborators" vs going the dominant/submissive route. I've never been told that what I like to do is boring, but have been told it's not for them. I think there are some things that are a "man's role" (fixing stuff and hooking up the HDTV and bribing a bro to help out with a case of beer you had lying around from last year's party...that he brought). I have issues when women don't take any accountability or responsibility in a relationship. But don't leave every decision up to her.... "yes dear, we'll do everything you want" unless you LOVE ballet. From the get go, she knows my likes and interests, and I know she's not going to like everything I do. And I'm a good sport for what she likes to do. Determine what is really important to her that you feel is an obligation but are a good sport about it. And she should be taking some interest in what you're doing, and if she's really not into it, she should tell you. That might take some work in finding out the truth. And when you give up those "me" things to spend time with her, she should have done the same. But she has to accept your interests, they're a part of you.


    5-She fears abandonment. This is part biological programming, as in the event she is left with a child, she needs to be sure that she will not be abandoned, and left alone to care for it. This covers her emotional need to feel secure.

    When you meet a girl who has never gone through a dry spell, when she's getting ready to end it with you, she's lining someone up. It's good when you've met someone who makes clear cut breakups vs keeping one on the vine, while swinging to another. I don't associate the abandonment with kids as much as I do boyfriends

    6-Trust. The key here is if she can trust you to be honest with her; even if you know she will not like what you have to say. In a womans reality, she is used to people lying to her ALL THE TIME because of the way she looks, or they simply want something from her. If you are willing to piss her off with your honesty, you have demonstrated that she can trust you.

    No one wants to be used or betrayed. This is just a human need... but I think men put a higher value on it.

    7-Her physical safety. A man must demonstrate that he is capable of protecting her physically from the threats of the outside world. This is to make her feel safe.

    In 2008 this has changed, because women take self-defense courses, raise kids on their own, compete in jobs with guys, and are as competitive and as athletic as guys when it comes to sports. Women are a lot more empowered, but as a result, male emasculation has resulted from it. I think the needs met are a little more complex than just Me Tarzan/You Jane. Women usually wind up having a relationship with one guy they're supporting in life. This ties into long term stability.

    8-Women need to know you can handle her TRUE sexuality. She will only be as wonton with you as you demonstrate that you can handle it. She needs to explore her sexuality and let it be free with you as a Natural Woman

    It depends. Some people's "true sexuality" comes from a really dark place. Traumatic childhood in some cases... you really want to dredge that up because it gets her off? Proceed with caution on that. And the question is whether she can meet your sexual needs as well... she might be too conservative for what you're into and you'll spend years trying to break her down into doing something she morally feels is wrong. Usually this is stuff you can find out through emails and phone calls, past the point of sex history and just exploring fantasy...reminding her it's just fantasy and being really open, talking about stuff you might feel uncomfortable bringing up.


    9-Prove that you have high quality sperm by showing other girls want to have sex (procreate) with you, and/or you are a good catch and he kids with you will also be a good catch enough to also attract a mate.

    This to me is the "we look good in pictures together". Get the photo of her and you on your cellphone (make sure you have practiced it and figure out your best angle). When it comes across that you look good in pictures together and she wants you to send the pic, the subtext is that the kids will also look good.

    10-Prove that you are not a homosexual. She knows every homosexual male friend she has that is not out of the closet yet. Could you be one too?

    This is kind of irrelevant. Yes, as a man, you should prove you're masculine and have a pair. That has nothing to do with sexual orientation. And I don't think anyone should allow themselves to be emasculated. If you have to ask the question if you're gay and you're over 21, there's bigger issues to deal with.

    [/QUOTE]

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