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First post here and this seems to be ...
Need help loosening up a shy virgin
First post here and this seems to be the right place to post this, if not let me know.
I met this girl the last week of the semester at a four day long party, shes 20 im 18. We were both pretty drunk but I was chatten her up about school/herself/etc. We pretty much hung out for the most part of those four days hanging out drinking/dancing/talking. During one of our conversations i find out from her best friend she thinks I'm possibly a bit young and shes also a virgin.
Now just for the record I'm not exactly smooth, pretty shy actually, but unfortunately so is she. The next day a few people hung out sober just relaxing. Now heres where things start throwing me. She seems really unresponsive/disinterested throughout.
That was the last day i saw her in person before she went back home for the summer (45 min. drive). Over the past few weeks I've been talking to her on AIM and everything seems fine with me showing interest and her showing it back.
Earlier today we went to six flags with a total of eight people. It seemed like an exact repeat of the last night i saw her, completely unresponsive.
Why is it exactly that we can connect when we're either
A: drunk or B: not face to face?
Could it be that she's just shy?
18-20 isn't a big age difference at all, but i might need to convince her.
It could also be me being less outgoing while I'm sober.
The fact that she isn't on campus anymore either and we arent really to the point of just hanging out isn't really helping (unless thats what i should shoot for?).
So my question is whether she's actually into me and is just shy or maybe she's just not interested. If she is actually interested what should i do to both escalate things and get her in the comfort zone.
Thanks for the input guys.
Well do you guys talk on the phone a lot? If not then you guys should, then maybe after a few weeks of talking to her she'll loosen up or be more open to you. That is when you ask her on a date, not somewhere closed or she'll feel uncomfortable. Maybe a dinner or a picnic is good. Shy people are usually really exciting when you get to know them more and they are more open to you.
And if you guys do talk on the phone for like a few weeks and she still like this then shes prob. not interested in you or she just think you only want to get in her pants. Either way you have to make her feel comfortable and theres no need to be afraid.
It's mostly talking online, but she isn't on very often so i didn't think it would be a good idea to neg her.
Would it be better to just wait for the next semester to start and try again, or attempt to persist through the summer?
Next semester, but keep in contact with her maybe call her once a week to check up on her etc... That way it shows that you have the patience and you care to some extent. Maybe before semester start you could ask her to go with you to go out. Tell her that summer is almost over and you want to spend some quality time with her. Her response prob. will be a "awww" and if she tells you she can't go or anything, just tell her that you'll see her next semester then. If she agrees then you should go do your thing blah blah, but make sure not to go too far. As in maybe a peck or kiss is good.
Originally Posted by Tom16689
well I've gotten that far, but again... piss drunk.
Originally Posted by Xaler
Thanks for the help man.
group theory- you have to win over the people with you guys before you talk to her.. ignore her, you have to.. at least before qualification.
Ten years from now... Father: Hey son, I finally got my PH.D. in Venusian Arts at Harvard! Son: Wow, great job daddy! I got a 86% on my DHV story today, that's higher than my friends
Show scarcity. Dont IM chat with her for a week. When you finally reconnect, just say you've been super busy and explain all the fun things and people and adventures(read: DHV stories) that you've been having, but do it by leaving open loops, like starting a story about something really cool to bait her and then changing subjects, but more than anything, DONT SHOW INTEREST IN HER UNTIL SHE GENUINELY SHOWS INTEREST IN YOU... Qualification is HUGE and the Mystery Method Corp is spot on in its development and implementation, because it is SUCH a necessity... If shes not responsive to you when you're together, then run solid game starting from attraction (since you already know her)... Good luck bro
Thanks for the tips guys, I'm pretty much going to follow the advice given to the T and see how it plays out.