Discuss frustrated, depressed, need advice......... at the General Discussion within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; frustrated, depressed, need advice.........
so I've been going out since last fall.
There were some ...
frustrated, depressed, need advice.........
so I've been going out since last fall.
There were some number closes but no 2nd meeting at all.
For personal sarging, I know what my problem is (still hestitating, not talking to people as many as I can, get hurt if I get rejected)
Here is another problem
I've been doing online thing as a side thing for 3 months.
(match.com, plentyoffish, things like that)
Man, this thing really depresses me.
At first, I picked top girls and sent messages.
I virtually got no response. so I lowered my standards and it doesn't go anywhere.
When I invite for IM, it is no surprise if they just close the window.
I even picked the girls I wouldn't date at all (fat, ugly) to see what happens, and it devastates me when those girls reject IM
honestly, I am not monster looking, not a midget (6'1"), not supersize (180lbs), no geek style at all. I don't want to blame my race but I am asian
I guess they just look at my profile pics (just like what I do, scrolling down to find the ones I like) and just skip it based on my appearance?
I've had almost 10? number closes online but it didn't go anywhere.
(they either lose interest through txt or after short conversation)
My self-esteem has been crashed and stepped over 100 times because of this online thing (when I fail at personal sarging, I blame my skills, attitude) because I can't do much about it. This creates big fear for day games.
(I noticed my eye contact has gone bad and I just don't feel confident anymore)
Any similar experience?
Here's the thing about online dating sites i haven't used them before but I'm pretty sure they are more brutal then cold approachs. They are more judgemental about things. That's why I personally like cold approaches you can actually demonstrate that you are a fun social guy and demonstrate alot of things that you can't convey through online chatting or phone calls. I mean I'm sure the online dating sites work for some people but like you said. Use it on the side and don't get too emotionally invested in these sites.
And phone numbers really means nothing unless you built a little attraction. Assume they will eventually go stiff unless you built attraction and demonstrated value to them.
Dude online gaming is the worst. I was in your exact same position last year.
Never anywhere else in the world will you face so much instant rejection than online. The proper way to game online is to send blanket messages to thousands of women at the same time and only spend time gaming the ones who respond positively.
The fact is though, the one or two average lays you get some fools mates online doesn't compare to doing it the old fashioned way in real life. If you want to game online, meet people in real life FIRST then get their facebook / myspace.
The final mystery is oneself.
I'm an asian that tried online at the start as well. Screw it, it really does depend a lot on the profile pic. And stop being depressed, you can smell depression on a person, and it ain't attractive.
As far as the online thing goes, try Heartfire's method... I rarely use online game, but I've had decent results with that. As for in-field, you know your issues; now you just have to consciously try to improve that.
One thing, though. If your bad online experiences are hurting you in the field by lowering your confidence level, and in effect lowering your projected value, then for the love of god, STOP ONLINE GAMING!!! You'll get better, more real results in the field, and you won't have that nagging "I got rejected by that snaggle-toothed wildebeest on match.com, why would this HB9 talk to me?" mentality.
Get your game tight in the real-world. That's where the girls are anyway.
Who is ninja? I am ninja.
Time for instruction. IMO, if you aren't getting laid within 6 months you aren't going to figure this out on your own in any timely fashion.
When I am writing in red, it's as an Attraction Forums mod or admin. When I write in normal text, it's just me.
IM on many of those dating sites doesn't work, and even when you get a conversation started with a girl over e-mail they're generally just looking to kill some time between term papers or trips to the spa to get their toenails done (again). IMO online game is mainly useful to get practice at flirting and that's about it.
The Man Behind the Curtain
Stage Hypnosis Experience
Dump the online gaming, it clearly isn't working for you. Go back to making cold approaches.
I'm going refer you back to this thread. You made this 6 months ago and you're still having inner game problems. Maybe you're just trying to hard?
If you are 6' tall you are going to get laid. I don't care if you are polkadoted.
That being said I went through what you did and it took me over a year to become a PUA. Take instruction, buy products, drop the online bs.