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This might ...
My girlfriend is a virgin and doesn't want to do it before marriage
This might be long, so bear with me.
About 2 weeks ago I met this girl through an internet dating website. Her profile she was looking for someone to 'hang out' rather than date. We exchanged email addresses and talked on yahoo. The first time we talked, she didn't even give me her number. The next day she did, and told me she was only looking for a friend. I told her same with me, and did a lot of push-pull, saying she wasn't my type etc.
We flirted a lot and she was fun to talk to (still is). We met on the weekend after that but she didn't let me kiss her.. saying she doesn't kiss on the first date. That's also when she told me she was a virgin and was saving herself for marriage. I was like 'yea right' because she had been flirting with me a lot, talking slightly about sex, saying 'we'll see' when I told her she had to be my sex slave for a whole day to make it upto me for showing up late.
Later on when we were talking on the phone, it started to feel like she really was serious about this marriage thing and wasn't gonna sleep before marriage, in fact wasn't gonna do anything sexual other than kissing. We had a fight about it and we broke up, blocking each other and deleting our numbers.
I thought that'll be the end, but I started to regret it later on because I'm a virgin and she was my first ever girlfriend (I'm also her first ever boyfriend). I felt like she was my only chance and all that, and one night I saw her number in my recently dialed list and gave her a call, but she was drunk and we only talked for a few seconds. The next morning she texted me and I called her, and we ended up talking another 30 mins and arranging another place for meeting.
Then we did end up talking for hours on the phone almost each day during the day scheduled, and on the day we met we went to the movies. She told the cashier she wanted the seats in the back row, and when we went to sit the whole cinema was dark and with very few people around. She started to touch my chin and my face, and i leaned in to kiss her. She pulled back at first, but when I did it again she kissed me back with a passion (my first french kiss, and from what she tells me hers as well).
We kissed a few more times during the movie and also on the way back. She's a really good kisser.. and also she sucked on my neck which was great. However she didn't let me touch her breasts.
Then we kept talking and 2-3 days later we saw again. This time we ended up with me pressing her against a railing in the empty train station and us making out for about 15 seconds. She let me grab her ass and all that but still didn't let me touch her breasts. Also she doesn't like kissing in public and doesn't ever do it when people are around, even if its just 1 guy standing at a long distance.
Then we ended up talking dirty on the phone and she told me that my dick entering her pussy sounded tempting, etc. But the next day I made the biggest mistake by telling her I want to take her virginity. And then she said we won't tell each other anymore stories because it was raising my expectations and all that, and it made me mad and we had another almost fight and break up.
Then we met again yesterday and this time there was more kissing.. but I tried to kiss her too much even when she didn't want to. But during the movie she let me touch her breasts, in fact she put my hand inside her bra and made me squeeze her tits. She also pulled her jeans forward to let me see her panties. And she unzipped my jeans and stroked my dick during the movie but I couldn't get hard lol.
And now I'm gonna see her again, but she said there will be no breast touching all the time. I was like okay, as if it didn't bother me. But it did... And then we ended up talking about the virginity again, and she again told me she will only lose it after marriage. Also she is on her period, and we had been discussing her sleeping over at my place (but without sex). And she said she wanted to do it during her period, so nothing could happen. I was like 'You don't trust me?' and she said 'I don't trust myself'. Also she said that one part of her tells her to lose her virginity to me, but the other tells her not to. Also she told me that I'm the first guy to take her heart, and the one to take her virginity might not be the one to have her heart, and that makes me more special than him.
I'm very confused, because this is clearly leading me to wanting to marry her, because its so frustrating. I know I can bang her without getting married, and i really don't think I will marry her unless she changes her attitude. She's a christian, and refers to talking about sex as dirty, goes like 'tsk, stupid guy' whenever I say something related to sex, and acted tired last time to not kiss me (but I think I was trying too hard).
She did tell me that she's okay with doing other things but not me taking her virginity, but said time will have to show what those things will be, etc.
Anyway, I really need help with this. How can I take her virginity? I do like her.. and want to keep her as my girlfriend.. but only if sex becomes a normal part of the relationship. Please give me some advice?
Not sure how well this'll go down on here, but you could try respecting her views?
If she doesn't want sex before marriage who the hell are you to force her into it?
Here are some options:
1. Break up with her and get a girl who will give what you want.
2. Stay with her, and respect her views.
3. Stay with her, cheat on her in the meantime, and eventually hope to get laid.
4. Be patient, turn her on so fucking much, that she will beg for sex.
I have met girls who said they would wait til marriage....Of course they will say that *snicker*
How old are you and how old is she?
(If you've never failed, you've never lived.)
I've taken two girls' virginity... both of them said they wanted to wait until marriage.
Now, you need to tread carefully here, because she will probably get attached to you. I don't know if you're in the US or not, because cultural attitudes to losing virginity differ WILDLY.
Anyway, you need to do a LOT of comfort to get her to give it up. It seems that there's a weird dichotomy that exists with virgins - they're either sluts that want to lose it ASAP, or they want it to be really special. Really really special. In either case, she'll get attached to you. Great if you want to keep her.
Now, she might try to convince you that she's not sexual but the fact is that she is. And she is going to be a slave to her hormones as much as you. But the hormones are different. You need to show her you care for her and all that. Don't mistake that with being needy. Its great that you broke up with her, it shows non-neediness.
By the way, let it slip that you're also a virgin, and "experimentation" will become more OK in her mind if you're both each other's first. Remember, you're high value and you've fooled around with girls before, but none of them were worth it.
My avatar represents me, before.
I think option 4 is the best there. She's gradually allowing you to progress, especially with the whole breast situation. Is she ok with oral sex? If so, that could be your chance. Get her so fuckin turned on that shes begging for you to put your dick in her. 2 steps forward, 1 step back. There are plenty of articles on ways to get her turned on. Take a look at those.
Originally Posted by NumbaOneDesi
Best of luck, and let us know how it goes.
Clarification: Option 3 and 4 are not mutually exclusive!
Cheers guys... your replies really made my day because I was starting to think there was no hope in this situation. Oral sex is an option.. she hasn't allowed it yet but I think she soon will. I'll look for those articles on how to turn her on.
We're both 18 but she's a few months older than me
Originally Posted by miaddict
Okay it seems to me that she really wants to do the deed but her ASD is sky high at the moment. My suggestion is to pull a massive freeze out, basically take yourself away from her. Continue to see her, when she kisses you do so but then stop prematurely, don't touch her, don't let her touch you, if she complains say: "but you wanted to wait until you were married." (note you DON'T say "until we are married"). My opinion is that after a couple of weeks (or sooner) of cutting off gratifying her she'll get fed up and give into to fucking you. Basically you are acting very needy right now and you have to show her that you don't give a shit about fucking her, then she will be all over you and if you ever feel you are close to doing her (i.e. at a place suitable for fucking) keep disqualifying her with "but you wanted to wait" "we shouldn't be doing this" "etc" as you intensify the presex makeout session. If she stops you while intensifying then you have to go for the freeze out again. "Yeah you're totally right you wanted to wait....blah, blah, blah" and don't make anymore advances until she comes after you again.