Discuss You are an arrogant, Self-centered Asshole. at the General Discussion within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; You are an arrogant, Self-centered Asshole.
Today a girl that I hooked up with twice ...
You are an arrogant, Self-centered Asshole.
Today a girl that I hooked up with twice last semester called me that.
She's been ice cold for about 2 months.
She declares she hates me.
I am bewildered as to what I did.
Apparently I've ingrained the wrong idea of being Alpha into my thought processes, and have emerged from my transformation: A Dick.
I have to fix the bridges I've burned with this girl, because she's friends with EVERY girl I've met lately.
I also have to fix my personality, if that is indeed how I'm acting, because I definitely am not trying to be that person.
What do you guys think?
1. Perhaps there's something else going on for her, and it ain't you; or
2. Her perception of you is how she sees you, but not how others may; or
2. It's you.
Feedback that you feel is valid is important. People rarely take the time to tell us how they feel about us.
Either way, actions speak louder than words, so I would work on being the opposite of arrogant, self-centered and an asshole.
I don't know that you need to "fix" your personality. Perhaps you want to figure out what behavior made her think that.
I've asked people in the past how they arrived at a perception of me, and most are happy to share it, so you might ask, if you care to. Good luck!
There is a point where you stop all the games, routines and cock BS that you banter your way though an interaction with man.
Originally Posted by confuseid
If I had to take a stab at this I would be willing to bet you over negged, DHV'd to the point of bragging (they are 2 different things) and really out right insulted her at points.
Learn to tone it down, most girls have SERIOUS self esteem issues and a lot of the new people will really fuck up when they neg and DHV.
Most people take the cocky-funny attitude along with the negs and DHVing WAY too far. I've noticed that a lot of people with this problem tend to lack a sense of what the other person is thinking. Most of my interactions revolve around what the other person is thinking. I put myself in their shoes and imagine what I would think if somebody just did to me what I did to them. If I would have a bad reaction I will do something to make up for it. You basically have to look at yourself from a 3rd person perspective and come off as a good person overall.
Tell us more about what you did.
I had a girlfriend last semester in college, and cheated on my girlfriend with this girl.
She's a cheerleader named 'Meredith'.
Now I spent quite a bit of time with her last semester, and had sex with her twice.
She was seeing a guy named Brett or something at the time as well, so I thought the whole relationship wouldn't be a big deal. Apparently not.
I talked to her close friend who reported that the REAL reason she was mad was because, apparently, she's the type of girl who gets lots of attention from guys, so she is the one who is used to getting bored with them.
She apparently thought we were going to get into a 'relationship' of sorts, and she got real hurt because I ditched her.
Now that's a load of bullshit.
We were both seeing other people at the time, not to mention I was dating a girl.
So after giving her about 2 months of space to cool down, I IM her and say, "Hey."
The conversation pretty much goes,
Meredith: I don't want to talk to you because I hate you.
Me: Why do you say that?
Meredith: You're a self-centered, arrogant asshole.
Me: Whys that?
Meredith: You're rude, you swear a lot, you think you're better than everyone, and you say stuff behind people's backs and don't think it'll get back to them, etc.
I had no idea what to say to that!! haha.
Anyway, that's the gist of it. She hates me apparently.
I would very much like to just brush it off and move on, but she's friends with too many girls (cheerleader) that I've been meeting.
Any more ideas?
1. I think she is a fucking loon.
2. She seems mad that you would not fall into her game. Kinda like you just crashed her whole I am the princess of the world mentality.
Not worth it.
Classic Dumbfounded chick responses. Sometimes women can't handle the idea that they have become boring to men. They deal with it in awkward ways. Either cut your loses or keep dealing with her shit.
She does sound potentially loony.
"I CoCo Puff Sweet Bitches"
Originally Posted by Durk
She's done you a big favor. First, dumping a cheerleader is great social proof and she's advertising it. Second, if she tells people you're a jerk, they'll want to know why. If she tells them, they'll see that she's the one who's off base. If they agree with her, they aren't the kind of people you want to hang out with anyway. She just hasn't realized that everyone else in the world isn't as stupid and manipulative as she is.
You should thank her.
I shouldn't bother trying to talk to her about it?
For all I know, it could be something else, her friend might be wrong.
(but probably isn't, seeing as how its a 3rd person perspective)
What you said makes sense though. Hitting & Quitting cheerleaders = social proof