Girl wants to keep things casual and date other people. I want something more serious

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  1. #1
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    Girl wants to keep things casual and date other people. I want something more serious

    Hey guys, this is my first post so i'll try to do it right.

    Here's the deal, I met this girl in vegas over a month ago. We hit it off right away. I ran very little material. things just flowed well. I had taken a Bootcamp a month earlier with Sinn and Future (it was freakn awesome) so was aware of the steps I needed to do to escalate our interaction. End result, she came to my room that night, had tons of LMR, but was able to break thru and have sex with her.

    We have seen each other 3 more times since then. Once a week later During a LA layover. Oh I live in Atlanta and she lives in LA. But being a pilot allows me to travel anywhere and anytime for free. Another when I came to LA for the weekend, and last when she came to Atlanta to visit me.

    Here's the deal... she wants to keep things casual even though we do things that are building strong comfort and feelings. She has no problem keeping her emotions aside, or so she says, but I'm having a tougher time with it. She wants the freedom and ability to date who she wants, when she wants, and do what she wants with them. I'm trying to give her the space she wants, while trying to work my time in and get her mind "fixated more on me" and have her realize that I can provide her with what I think she's looking for.

    What I'm looking for is advice on whether I should keep her as a "friend with benefits" or try and persue more. She did mention that if the right person came along that she would want to be with just him. But in the meantime, she can't be serious with just one person, actually with no one.

    So should I too keep things casual?
    Should I also date other women and let her know that I'm dating other people?
    If I do want to try and persue a relationship with her, what steps/advise would you give?

    Thanks.



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    So should I too keep things casual?
    YES
    She is telling you she wants it casual. At least she is letting you know and not leading you on.

    Should I also date other women and let her know that I'm dating other people?
    YES, why should she be the only one having her pie and eating it too.


    If I do want to try and persue a relationship with her, what steps/advise would you give?

    You don't. There are tons of women out there that are ready to give you what you want. The only reason you are hung up on her is that she is letting you play with it and you want more of it. If you were on her shoes, a player, you would be doing the same thing she is asking. I think she turned the tables on you and it is becoming one-itis.
    Last edited by jsaligeri; 12-26-2007 at 09:53 PM. Reason: reformat reword

  3. #3
    The_Jedi's Avatar
    The_Jedi is offline Certified Live Training Graduate Lounge Member
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    It's just another form of one-itis. Jsaligeri spoke the truth.
    "Curiousity killed the cat... but for a while I was a suspect."

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    Thanks guys. I agree I'm getting the one-itis. sounds like if I move too fast I'll lose her. I did tell her that I was willing to NOT date other girls. Guess I was looking for the same response, but didn't get it. Big DLV in my part.Sounds like the best thing to do is date other girls. Dont be specific about it but make her aware that other girls are in my life and If she wants to be a bigger part, she needs to do more work.

    Just one question for you guys... she loves attention (hugging,kissing,touching) while we are together. Should I comply with all her needs while we are together, or should I make her work for it and not give in to her wishes?

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    Kino is great, so long as it's not the "needy" kind, if you know what I mean. But you might want to throw in the occassional hoop for her to get that attention, to keep her compliance and investment up.

    A more important question to ask yourself is how does all the "touchy-feely" make YOU feel? Is that what's pulling you in too far, maybe?
    "Curiousity killed the cat... but for a while I was a suspect."

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    It is a LONG distance relationship after all.

    Just keep it casual. There is always someone better.

    I can understand your concern with settling down, you're not a college kid anymore. And most young guys would say "OH MAN fuck her, just go fuck other woman" ....well, date other woman, if she wants to keep casual that means she is not ready to settle.

    if that's what you were looking for?
    The ghost of pua's past.

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    She's not willing to be more serious with you.

    Sorry, it had to be said. Date other women and make her a FB.
    My avatar represents me, before.

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    Just one question for you guys... she loves attention (hugging,kissing,touching) while we are together. Should I comply with all her needs while we are together, or should I make her work for it and not give in to her wishes?



    If she loves attention, go with it or not. play with her. make it work for it or don't. She is your FB so accept it. But do not comply with all her wishes. Or do. give her a hard time. It is up to you how you want to play it. **BUT***

    The first thing I would do, even if you don't have another FB is go to a store buy some bra or women underwear and leave it in a place that she can see it. And go get some tampons. Open the darn box, throw away like three of then. Get a woman's blow dryer, which cost like $25.00 and leave it on your bathroom exposed so she can see both tampons and hair dryer. If you don't feel comfortable about an opened box of tampons or a hair dryer, go get another toothbrush... it works wonders...

    Jealousy is a great aphrodisiac.


    Roberto
    Last edited by jsaligeri; 12-27-2007 at 08:15 PM. Reason: corrected spelling :(

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