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Discuss Advice on Damage Control. Experts! at the General Discussion within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Advice on Damage Control. Experts! Friend of mine, a natural, is having a problem with ...
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    Strokes is offline Certified Live Training Graduate Lounge Member
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    Advice on Damage Control. Experts!

    Friend of mine, a natural, is having a problem with a girl. The problem is unique, I gave him advice, but I wasn't 100% confident in it. I'd like to open it up to the forum.
    My friend meets this girl who he takes to a date party. He's has lots of social value because everyone knows him at the party. She doesn't know anyone so she latches on to him. He runs great game (so he says). He ends up taking the girl back to his house. They hook up, she wants to fuck but he tells her no. She blows himm a bit. He thought he was running control game with her. Making her want it even more. He texted her a few times without getting a response. He got one later, wrote back to her a few times more, and no response.
    I thought it could be possible buyer's remorse. He had her in a great frame, she loved him at the party, etc But he didn't run enough comfort. SO she goes back with him because she's into him, highly attracted, but wakes up the next day like what did I do. ONly problem is He denied Her sex. She isn't responding to him the way he thought. Any ideas? He says it's possible she's seeing other guys. My friend has other girls, but he's catching a bit of oneitis on this one because he doesn't have control. Advice?



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    If a woman is willing to spread her legs for you and you don't go for it she can feel shame and embarressment and will generally be upset.

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    doc
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    BINGO...Orleans !
    he turned down the greatest gift they have to give...No wonder.
    "Act surprised...Show concern...Deny...Deny...Deny".

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    Strokes is offline Certified Live Training Graduate Lounge Member
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    Dissagree

    I appreciate your opinion, but I dissagree. I think that would make her want you more. He also was showing her he likes her by all these texts, she can't be embarrassed when he's giving her IOI's like this.

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    doc
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    it was time...
    if he did`nt want to thats cool....but she obviously did..
    maybe she`s with someone who will...when she want to....hmmmmm
    "Act surprised...Show concern...Deny...Deny...Deny".

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    iCY
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    if a woman gives you something, take it. she wants to cook you something? go eat the food. she wants to sleep with you? go ahead. not taking it is almost like a 'neg' of its own. You know what happens when you neg TOO MUCH. you end up scaring the girl away.she will feel embarassed like someone above said, and to a certain extent, she'll feel like a slut. and since he didnt have enough comfort with her, shes not gonna want to see him again.
    then again, i am a bit confused as to what your friends goal with that girl was.

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    He is also not helping his case by texting her multiple times with little or no response.
    LUCID
    ....I always welcome constructive criticism on any of my thoughts. Please... feel free.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Strokes
    They hook up, she wants to fuck but he tells her no. She blows himm a bit.
    So she gave him head and then he basically froze her out? Talk about punishing good behavior. And he doesn't know where he went wrong? If he had no intent of sleeping with her that night then he shouldn't have let it get that far, obviously.
    As for what he can do - move on and don't let it happen again.

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    GameBoy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Strokes
    I appreciate your opinion, but I dissagree. I think that would make her want you more. He also was showing her he likes her by all these texts, she can't be embarrassed when he's giving her IOI's like this.
    I have to disagree Storkes.
    I've seen this behavior before - First Hand.
    There are a few key elements that are missing in this discussion:
    1.) If she is a LSE girl - this will devastate her. (This also applies to women with heavy daddy-issues)
    She sees you as something great; bigger and better than her. She wants a piece of that and she wants to make sure that you stay interested in her. To her - the best way to do that is to sleep with you. When you turn her down you're sending one of the hardest, truest, sharpest and most painful rejections into her heart. She will resent it, because she resents her self.
    On that note: If she has LSE- she probably has issues with self-deprecation and self-image. If she believes herself to be someone of low value - and you reject her greatest gift - she might see it as you discovering her inner worthlessness and not wanting to be around that. Why else wouldn't you fuck her? she thinks. You're not rejecting her body, you're rejecting her soul.
    2.) Instead of having sex, he took a blowjob.
    She's probably feeling like a cheap slut now. She was rejected sexually, but used for his pleasure and used to get him off. She might feel like a total whore at this point. The guy wasn’t willing to stick his dick in her, but thought she'd be useful to get off.
    This will send her deeper into her shame-spiral.
    Believe me - you don't want this girl anyway. And, even if you did, the relationship is going to be so badly damaged that it's not worth it to recover.
    -GameBoy
    All your women are belong to me.

    I hear their periods attract bears... bears can smell the menstration. - Brick Tamlin
    Check out GameBoy's Game Theory: Archive and Journal - updated 12/24/06: Songs I love to dance to.
    And check out GameBoy's new Blog: Devoted to all aspects of personal Style. (Including fashion)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lucid
    He is also not helping his case by texting her multiple times with little or no response.
    Going back to the 'cheap slut' comment that I made above - she may think he's only out for a repeat performance. This only means more shame and degredation in her eyes.
    It's also common for women like this to seek-out emotionally painful situations when they are feeling bad about themselves.
    The next time that she's depressed, she may call him because she wants to feel like shit. This is a control issue. To her, she is already low, but if she makes herself feel that way - it is on her own terms (even if she is using a guy as a tool to get there)
    This is why cutters cut.
    Last edited by GameBoy; 02-02-2006 at 04:04 PM.
    -GameBoy
    All your women are belong to me.

    I hear their periods attract bears... bears can smell the menstration. - Brick Tamlin
    Check out GameBoy's Game Theory: Archive and Journal - updated 12/24/06: Songs I love to dance to.
    And check out GameBoy's new Blog: Devoted to all aspects of personal Style. (Including fashion)

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