This has been a serious debate for a while now...Nice guys always finishing last with women.
Why Nice Guys Finish LAST with Women
Well i was once classified as a "nice" guy. And her is my personally testimonial on how i change this from experiences.
Okay, so this is a topic that has been going around for quite a while now..Probably before myself, and many of you were born. Guys commonly called “nice” guys trying to figure out where they go wrong with women, and why women always seem to walk right out of their lives.
Lets face it, being called a nice guy sucks(especially by women) because we all know what pool this usually places us in. Typically nice guys are classified as:
Always putting what he wants on the back burner
Saying anything to please a women
Smiling all the time when in the presence of beautiful women..FOR NO REASON. Because they think its “nice” and makes them look better. Its actually worse but well get to that later.
They usually settle for the first attractive female that luckily stumbles into there life.
As you probably know by now these are ALL unattractive qualities that almost turn women off immediately, for psychological reasons that were developed through society before our time. This is just the way it is.
Have you ever heard this before from a female you were interested in? “Awww your such a nice guy!” or maybe you over hear them telling their friends..”He’s such a nice guy!”
Well its different ways that someone can refer to you as a nice guy… 1) being a overall genuine person that cares about others. 2) a push over, ass kisser.
You usually know which one your referred to by the tone, or even they way people treat you.
Its happened to me plenty of times in the past..All throughout high school and during my freshman year in college. So how did i manage to change this without becoming a douche bag or arrogant ass whole? Lets talk about it…
1) Nice Guys dont make their women INVEST!
So we always hear the cliche, “People appreciate things they work for more.” or “People appreciate things they have to invest time or money in”. Well this is very true in terms of women. If you are one of those guys that seems to get opportunities with dating women, but always seem to lose them because your being to “nice”? Well, it may not be because your being “to sweet” or being really nice as in actions but meaning you always GIVE instead of TAKE or require your girl to invest in you and your time. Doing favors for others and treating them well causes the giver to love the taker more. In return the taker does not always feel this way..In fact they may feel bogged down..burdened, or even ungrateful. This is usually when the “grass is greener” syndrome happens. This is what happens when you see the nice guy being his girlfriend EVERYTHING she wants, doing good deeds etc, and not requiring her to invest much. On the contrary the “bad boys” are always requiring and demanding things of their partner. They make their girl INVEST.
So what can you change this?
Dont be too nice and do everything she wants you to do. Instead make her invest in the relationship as well. It should never be 70/30 on your part. It is nice to keep the investment level at 40/60 which ive learned from experience.
Remember, when females do FOR YOU is when they begin to fall in love with you. If she is not willing to invest this just means she may not be a good fit for you.
2) Nice guys reward BAD Behavior.
This is a big one. People in general learn from the consequences of their behavior. Its the simple system of reinforcement. People who recieve a good reward for good behavior tend to keep up that behavior over the long run, and vice versa.
Nice guys tend to treat their girls well ALL the time, even when they probably dont deserve it. Of course, this makes you look like a push-over. By doing this you are showing your partner you dont DESERVE better, and you know you are lucky to have her so you will always treat her well no matter what. this is WRONG and a good way to lose a girl.
How do you correct this?
Simple, have BOUNDARIES. Reward good behavior when its there. Make her EARN HER REWARD. If she is grumpy and nagging one night, simply ignore her. This will let her no you WILL not tolerate that type of behavior and still invest. Get the point?
3) Nice people are TOO Availible
This is a big one because…Typically people value things based on scarcity. For example, most guys who get a date or hook up with a 10, feel like girls like her who are soo “scarce” to giving him a chance are rare, so in return he raises her value and more than likely will come off as needy and desperate. We see this with guys all the time.
Nice guys are ALWAYS eager to please a girl they find attractive. They always agree to drop things in their life for the girl. They think be being convient, they can make it easier for the girl to fall for him..Which is wrong. Its actually the opposite. Instead you come off as needy, desperate. Eventually, you will get taken for granted, and overlooked by the girl..She will become BORED. It makes you seem LOW value and worthless.
In return, the “bad boys” are hardly availible, always cancellign plans, calling off dates, basically making the girl do things according to his reality. But women find this attractive, temping and alluring.
So in return, this makes them look scarce, which raises their value and the girl appreciates them being in her life more..Get the point?
So as you see being a nice guy isnt a bad thing.. being TOO nice is! A lot of guys who once were nice guys end up turning into douch bags and missing out on a lot of opportunities because they have been dumped for being “nice”. So i was once this guy and with these small changes it drastically improved my results. So if you consider yourself categorized as this guy..change it with these simple steps.