Discuss Feeling like I'm missing prime opportunities... at the General Discussion within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Feeling like I'm missing prime opportunities...
Hindsight is definitely 20/20 (although my regular vision is ...
Feeling like I'm missing prime opportunities...
Hindsight is definitely 20/20 (although my regular vision is better than that) although I feel like I'm doing too much "man, I know I could've..." these days.
A little bit about myself: I don't consider myself any PUA of any kind, I'm just more or less curious to get feedback.
I am attractive. More so than I realized for a long time, because for a long time I did the basics very poorly: not confident posture, bad eye contact, stuttering, fumbling through sentences, saying "uh", "um" and "I think" before everything, apologizing for myself. Most of that's in the past now.
I'm still a slow salesman though. It's not entirely bad, met some very attractive women and had fun doing what I've been doing. Yet I feel I'm still more good looking and confident, and have more to offer than what's being offered.
I'm trying to dress better for one.
The thing is though, I get approached and I feel I get the signal a lot, but I have such a chill and laid back demeanor, and I'm such a teaser it's hard for me to break that and shoot them something real serious. I get the impression I'm a very comfortable and fun person to be around so I like being casual and laid back but I feel as though I could be more forward in many of these situations. I want tips for escalating the situation quicker so I may be more forward yet still have it seem organic. I do it really effectively with touch, but with words I feel I still miss out.
So y'all just take this baton and run with it. Like I say I don't really believe in Game yet I'm interested to hear your take.
First off teasing is fun. Trust me everything that comes out of my mouth is a tease or joke. But that can get very boring very fast to a woman. She needs to know the real you.
Start with that. Usually you tease and joke to get attraction but based on what you are saying you already have that. So start having normal conversations with her. And actually pull the trigger (give her statements of intent or just flat out ask her out). Experiment in the timing of this. It is all about trial and error. Sometimes you will give her a SOI and it will be too early. But with enough practice you will start to feel the window for when its right.
Okay, hmmm, I guess I would say I'm good at sensing when not to be forward, but feel like perhaps this causes me to miss earlier chances to do this. Maybe the more appropriate question how to be forward without necessarily being forward?
I strive to make everyone feel as though they are getting something very personal, even when they aren't, but I do find certain situations need more discretion at least to the point where I can't be just painfully direct.
My question back to you is why are you afraid of being forward? If you put your cards on the table two things happen: she either rejects you on the spot and you can move on or you get closer to banging her.
Girls know when you like them. They are good at sensing this. So its not like you blatantly hitting on them is exposing some big secret.
Okay. So perhaps I just made a slight breakthrough I feel. I ran into this Indian chick at the end of what could've been a disappointing night. I'm not sure, but that's just all around weird there. Anyways run into the Indian chick. Immediately establish what y'all call Kino. Then just start chatting her up. Immediately get her phone number. I text her "I'm like here's my address wanna chill" told her she was lookin hot she immediately replied she couldn't now. I was like you're in town for a month plenty of time "" and she was like "yeah that's true ". I responded "f*** yeah it is". So I feel here I did more of what I set out to do.
Okay, it's good she was responding to you, but you came off too strong with the bolded statement. You didn't have to reinforce what she said by saying "fuck yeah" because she already reinforced what she said by saying "yeah that's true ". As conventional as this sounds, you need to realize that you're aiming for nothing - taking shots in the dark with no definite goals or direction. Whenever you hear about "PUAs" and amazing pick-ups, there was some planning in there that led to that pick-up, some direction and idea of what to do.
Originally Posted by UltraMagnus2005
In your case, you didn't set any goals for yourself, you just went out one night with nothing to shoot for. Did you want to get laid? Want a number? Want a relationship? Fuck-buddy? Many girls to have casual relationships with?
Who are you going out with? How many sets do you wanna approach? Do you need to improve body language? Tonality? Style? I mean there's A TON of things that go into a correct pick-up, but we all have small flaws that we need to work on. For example, I had to improve style, tonality, and body language. I want many casual relationships with women and possibly a serious relationship once the "right" girl, for now, comes along. Start setting some goals for yourself so you have some idea of what you want out of the night. You're going out there expecting something to happen and coming back disappointed because you DIDN'T HAVE GOALS. It's huge to have goals. You need a destination and good direction. Also, look into inner game on these forums.
Read up on some of the "best of" threads, too.
"The mind only acts as an enemy for those who do not control it."
You only lose what you cling to. -Buddha
Here's how I see it:
Men act, women react. Don't take the woman's role.
I'm not worried about what I said really. I'm going for it. She won't hear from me for a while though. I usually find they text back on their own time. I'll do the same. I've got a packed schedule at all times.
Just got a black chicks phone number. She approached me and I went right for it. She was like "you need to hit me up later". I really feel like I'm now being the right kind of pushy for my personality. See where this goes
I definitely feel like the clothes are helping too. They're casual but pricey. Which is exactly the look I wanted to have.
Good stuff dude. I like people like you. You get advice you implement it in a way that works for you IN THE FIELD and you come back to tell us about it. Perfect keep it up.
Originally Posted by UltraMagnus2005
What I'm doing better is focus the conversation on me and her. Anything I say relates to one of those people. I think that's helping me escalate it quicker. I also establish the physical a lot quicker. Good so far.
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