Discuss Unintentionally became the creep in her life. at the General Discussion within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Unintentionally became the creep in her life.
I already got some great advice from BetterThan ...
Unintentionally became the creep in her life.
I already got some great advice from BetterThan though PM, thought id put this out there incase anybody had anything else to say.
This girl I hang with is starting to take everything I've done/said and managed to find a way to twist it up and make it seem like Im in love with her. She never said I was a creep, but I FEEL that way now.
1. I like love songs, among other genres. So when were in her car (or mine) with all our friends, I plug in my phone and play these songs. Everybody likes them, but she tells our friend that I'm playing them as a "dedication" to her. Like I'm playing the songs so that the lyrics are dedicated to her via me. This isnt the case, I just the music, so does everybody else. I've become a creep without even knowing it.
2. We ride bikes, skateboards, scooters, and other stuff around the neighborhood and to the beach once in a while. My friend had a bike, she had a skateboard, and I had the scooter. A razor scooter, the kind that middle school kids ride. Its fun to ride, but its small, and I'm 6'4". Im hunched over and my hip hurts when I ride it. So as my friend is riding the bike, she pulls up along side him on her skateboard and holds onto the handlebars so they can roll together and stuff. Im minding my own business on the scooter and I'm getting tired of riding this thing meant for 13 year olds, so I ask my friend to trade, and he obliges. Later on I find out that she thinks I asked for the bike so she can hang on while I was riding the bike, I'm not that desperate or pathetic, jesus.
3. Every time I make eye contact with her during a conversation she tells my buddy im giving her "that look"
Really? Fuck. I dont understand how she manages to think this way, and as a result I feel like a total creep and I feel like I dont want her to ever see me because now I feel embarrassed. I'm constantly trying to find ways to reverse this, even though I'm not consciously doing it. Its just how I act. Now im kinda mad at her for making me feel like a tool, but I dont show it and I havent called her out. I cant call her out because I'd have to tell her that my friend tells me everything about me she doesnt want me to know. This shit is really immature but I have to find a way to do this to preserve a friendship of 13 years.
Just rephrame the situation.
If she says 'He is dedicating this song to me' then laugh and go, nah, this wasnt for you, the next one I will dedicate to you, and put on some screamo or something completely fucked...
Giving her 'that look'. 'If you where giving her 'that look' she would have melted away by now'
Something stupid and just make a joke of it. Dont worry about her. most likely she will be doing this shit to get your attention, or because she has some lingering feelings towards you.
Dont stress and dont play into her world and be weirded out by what she says. Hold your phrame.
I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.
~ George Best
The war between the sexes is over. Men won the second women started doing pole dancing for exercise.
~ Jacob Palmer
Thanks man. I dont know if you caught it on my original post but she isnt telling me these things. She tells my friend, and he then tells me. She thinks i dont know
She thinks im a creep but she doesnt tell me
My group of friends never had a single problem until she showed up. Im putting way too much effort into this, but I care because we've been friends a really long time
You have to use reverse psychology. Thatīs the only thing you can do to reframe this.
Follow Portraitīs advice, and if she doesnt comment directly to you - just overdo it when you are together:
"This song is for you, lammakins", "I want to ride this scooter so I can be close to you and stalk you silly" etc etc.
Write her a completely retarded song with horrifyingly cheesy lyrics and dedicate it to her...
Just make an exaggerated point of anything and everything she could perceive as "weird" or "falling in love with her".
Do that for a period, and she will probably get the message.
Reframing is good and all, but I think the best thing you can do is to genuinely stop caring what the hell she thinks about you. If your friend says "oh she said so and so," tell him she's got issues and you don't care what she thinks. Show her that the world doesn't revolve around her and you have better things to worry about. Don't pay any attention to her weird behavior, it's HER problem, not yours. It doesn't sound like you're doing anything creepy... she's just seeing IOIs where there are none.
It would of course help to get a gf hotter than she is, but she'll probably think you did it to make her jealous. Some chicks are just self-absorbed like that.
When I am writing in red, it's as an Attraction Forums Admin. When I write in normal text, it's just me.
You're simply dealing with a girl with extreme self esteem issues and shes chosen you to bully and clearly you're letting her. It's a weird version of the ego boost but it's different in a way. She could be projecting or she could strait up be looney. Either way just move on as you're better off. You will not win this internal mental game as she has already decided you're the creeper who's in love with her. Don't purposely be suddenly cool or standoffish as she will also take that as just another ruse. This game is already over with her and I don't think you're at a level where you could reverse it. Best bet is to go away completely. You're welcome. HH
If youre confident in your game, approach and talk to other girls while shes hanging out in your group so that she can see you are interested in other girls and that you can succeed with other girls
Try flipping those comments back at her like previous posters say, but don't overdo it. HH above had a good point with not out of the blue giving her the cold shoulder.
I'd have a word with your friends and get them to help you out, they should support you. The next time she talks to them about this, make sure they tell her how wrong she is. Get your friends on your side.
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