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AFC/Needy things YOU have done!

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  1. #1
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    AFC/Needy things YOU have done!

    Hey guys, so I got the idea to make this thread from here:

    Ultimate AFC Email... Good read...


    A couple people who replied there agreed this would be a good idea.

    This thread can be a good way to reflect on your own past or current AFC actions and help get them solved. None of us are perfect, however accepting and learning from your mistakes is how you become a better person.

    I will start to get things rolling.

    Once when I was out with my ex and some friends, I got super jealous and pissed at her. She saw two old highschool friends (guys) and chatted with them for a bit. I got really mad at her for never introducing me and stared the guys down really hard. I made a pretty big fuss about it and a lot of the people we were with noticed. I think I looked pretty insecure. This time around, when out socializing with my next GF I will act completely indifferent with whatever she does. If she does something that crosses my boundaries I will leave it until we are alone and discuss it then.



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    So you wanna hear my AFC side?

    Well... you asked for it:

    My ex and I were inseperable - until she ended things with me (this was more than 2 years ago). In order to get her back, I went through hell and was my own worst enemy. I called her, texted her, begging for her back, crying in my car when dropping her off after our "dates", and letting her walk all over me. I showed up at her house at 12 AM, laying flowers on her doorstep, texting her to come outside and see them, only to get a cold response while sitting at home crying in my bed. I sent her VERY LONG Facebook messages explaining how much she meant to me, that I'd never let her go, and that I'd "probably" (my way of being somewhat alpha, not really) take her back if she came running my way. She didn't.

    Oh, and by the way, I even went as far as to try to talk her friends into getting her in my direction. Whenever we'd text (post break-up), I'd respond to her within seconds while she took almost 30-45 minutes before getting back to me.

    Gawd I'm such a boss, huh?
    "The mind only acts as an enemy for those who do not control it."

    You only lose what you cling to. -Buddha

    Here's how I see it:

    Men act, women react. Don't take the woman's role.

  3. #3
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    Betterthan's response is practically me 2 years ago.

    I broke up with the girl then cried so she would take me back. She did and dumped a week after on the same day and around the same time (vengeful bitch ).We got back together a week after this 2nd break up then I dumped her and took her back the same day.

    I told her my whole body hurt cause of all the love I had for her and I wanted to marry her and wanted her to have my babies. She said nothing and walked away. The next day, she said something like, "that's nice but I don't really think about you outside of school. I've got a stuff to do." Huge blow to my ego. She repeatedly used her ex to make me jealous, got him a birthday card while conveniently forgetting mine, told me her feelings had died for me but if I waited, they might come back (I waited), and then she said she'd fallen in love with a dude she knew I didn't like. I threatened to beat up her ex, demanded she stop talking to other boys without permission, and gave her a ton of ultimatums.

    After graduation, I moved to Houston (she was in England). We would chat on skype and all. I checked her facebook message and saw this to her ex: "someone likes me but d_downs still likes me. What should I do?" I tripped out and wrote her a message. Summary: you're a fucking whore. You're like a grasshopper, you never settle down for long on one dick before moving on.

    Now the message she sent was kinda fucked up and implied she was considering going for someone else (fair enough) but my reaction reeked of n00b! She called me stupid, insulted me, posted it all on facebook, and made me beg her for forgiveness. When I did she said she was tired of the routine. I eventually grew a pair and asked for a breakup. She said no, she was prepared for us to be re-united eventually. I agreed. She dumped me and blocked me on facebook.

    A year and a half later, this january, she sent a message and a friend request. I responded with one word: "good". I hate messages that read, "how are you?"; they're fucking annoying and lead nowhere. She sent every message we had ever exchanged (rather my afc messages along with this new message) and after reading through them, I realized why I had taken steps to become a different/better person.

    I deleted her. That shit is in the past.
    Hey, it's all just advice. You can go out there and do whatever the FUCK YOU WANNA DO! - Hodgetwins

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    No better way to learn than by experiencing.

    Sent from my SGH-I727R using Tapatalk 2

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    Quote Originally Posted by d_downs View Post
    Betterthan's response is practically me 2 years ago.

    I broke up with the girl then cried so she would take me back. She did and dumped a week after on the same day and around the same time (vengeful bitch ).We got back together a week after this 2nd break up then I dumped her and took her back the same day.

    I told her my whole body hurt cause of all the love I had for her and I wanted to marry her and wanted her to have my babies. She said nothing and walked away. The next day, she said something like, "that's nice but I don't really think about you outside of school. I've got a stuff to do." Huge blow to my ego. She repeatedly used her ex to make me jealous, got him a birthday card while conveniently forgetting mine, told me her feelings had died for me but if I waited, they might come back (I waited), and then she said she'd fallen in love with a dude she knew I didn't like. I threatened to beat up her ex, demanded she stop talking to other boys without permission, and gave her a ton of ultimatums.

    After graduation, I moved to Houston (she was in England). We would chat on skype and all. I checked her facebook message and saw this to her ex: "someone likes me but d_downs still likes me. What should I do?" I tripped out and wrote her a message. Summary: you're a fucking whore. You're like a grasshopper, you never settle down for long on one dick before moving on.

    Now the message she sent was kinda fucked up and implied she was considering going for someone else (fair enough) but my reaction reeked of n00b! She called me stupid, insulted me, posted it all on facebook, and made me beg her for forgiveness. When I did she said she was tired of the routine. I eventually grew a pair and asked for a breakup. She said no, she was prepared for us to be re-united eventually. I agreed. She dumped me and blocked me on facebook.

    A year and a half later, this january, she sent a message and a friend request. I responded with one word: "good". I hate messages that read, "how are you?"; they're fucking annoying and lead nowhere. She sent every message we had ever exchanged (rather my afc messages along with this new message) and after reading through them, I realized why I had taken steps to become a different/better person.

    I deleted her. That shit is in the past.
    Nice, man.

    Glad that you're accepting your past rather than dwelling in it.
    "The mind only acts as an enemy for those who do not control it."

    You only lose what you cling to. -Buddha

    Here's how I see it:

    Men act, women react. Don't take the woman's role.

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    years and years ago when starting out:

    I would take my cues from the girl in bed. Ask permission. Be apologetic over things. Try to emote to her on her level, as if a female. This is what you are taught in school, by women, by the masses to do.

    AFC needn't be a clueless guy, it can be a guy who has learned from all the wrong places. He can be very good at learning, and as a result be worse off than the guy who is 'doing it all wrong', the asshole. The AFC learned things like always "Ask permission before you have sex with a girl, make sure she is consenting." He took the lesson literally and would say something like "Do you mind if I put my penis in your vagina?".


    90% of guys problems on here are simple because they wait for the girl to initiate. They want 25 000 IOI's and some kind of proof they will not get rejected before they will initiate. The very act of initiating is attractive, and rejection isn't an event, it is part of the process. She rejects, you adapt. Simple.

    It is easy to say when you have had loads of women. You don't care about rejection any more because you have so much proof of self worth to fall back on. You understand that it is her saying it, not every girl.

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    Wheew,

    I use to be with this girl who had me completely wrapped around her finger. She'd break up with me once a month, and I'd do shit to try and "win" her back every month: I bought her gifts constantly, I apologized for things I didn't do, I once left flowers, a balloon, chocolates, and a giant teddy bear on her porch, I asked her to think about me everyday at 12pm so we can think about each other at the same time, I let her evil daughter have anything she wanted, I let her mom judge me...the list goes on.

    Another girl broke up with me and left me crying for months. I once called her 57 times in one night. I was like Jason Segel in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
    "My conversations so deep, I get in your head
    Next thing you know, you yawnin', turnin' over and I'm in the bed" - 50 cent

    Respect The Cock...

    Follow my boy @chillnoved on twitter, tell him Zeus sent you. That guy's gonna do great things. He also gives GOOD advice.

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    We were dating for a few months and started being alpha and attractive but since she was my first gf I AFCed big time, resulting in she losing attraction and sending me all the way to LJBF land...

    When she said the dreaded "it's not you, it's me" I said "I want you to know something" tears rolling down my cheeks "that you are first love"

    Hahaha

    Funny thing is she broke down and cried too, and we ended up being fuck buddies for 2 more weeks, which I believe it was because she felt sorry for me and decided to keep "giving it" to me for a while...

    ----

    Suffering is something useless nobody will thank you for

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    I think a lot of us have to actually go through these aft moments to realize how not to act from.experience.

    You can hear someone say a million times not to be needy, but until you lose a girl because of it, you don't really see the consequences.



    Sent from my SGH-I727R using Tapatalk 2

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    Quote Originally Posted by dubman View Post
    I think a lot of us have to actually go through these aft moments to realize how not to act from.experience.

    You can hear someone say a million times not to be needy, but until you lose a girl because of it, you don't really see the consequences.
    Gotta agree. A lot of the stuff on here wouldn't have made sense if I hadn't done certain things and seen the results. I new about Mystery, PUA, etc during the relationship but I had to fuck up and realize I needed help before the change started.
    Hey, it's all just advice. You can go out there and do whatever the FUCK YOU WANNA DO! - Hodgetwins

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