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06-12-2012, 02:59 PM #1
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- May 2012
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That's what she said to me in bed. We were down to underwear, I was escalating and working through LMR. Then she layed that on me. She said "I haven't liked anyone in a long time, but I like you." I fingered her, she jerked me off, but she didn't let me go down on her or fuck her. But god damn she wanted it!
"I like you. I'm not supposed to like you."
So I read it as more LMR. This is tricky for me. My response was "I like you, and I like exploring with you to see where this goes."
The honest truth: I do like her, but I'm tired of feeling trapped in relationship after relationship. I want us to enjoy each other for now, and let that be ok. I can feel myself slipping into the boyfriend slot, and normally I'd let that happen so I could fuck her. Then she'd fall in love with me, I'd resist, then since I do actually like her, I'd cave in. She'd love me more, I'd feel trapped and miserable. That's what happens with girls for me. With her, I'd like her to be one of multiple LTR's. Or even if she's the only one, still treat it with a medium commitment level.
How shall I navigate these waters? I have to resist habits of falling into boyfriend role (where traditionally I become obsessive and stop having fun) while communicating that I do like her, and making her ok with having sex with me (which she really wants, but won't let herself yet).
This must have happened to some of you. Tips?
06-12-2012, 05:21 PM #2
Great... you like eachother... thats why are where fingerbashing her... That doesnt mean you have to fall into the BF Slot.
I like heaps of girls, and they like me and when we are together we have a good time.
Doesnt mean I am going to be there girlfriend, we are just hanging out and enjoying eachother company, there is nothing wrong with that either. If you arent ready to log off then dont. Simple as that. You dont want to be in a relationship, so dont be in one. If she leaves because of it, let her (she probably wont).
Just keep escalating sexually, but keep the relationship casual. Only see her once, maybe twice a week. Try not to do sleep overs if you can get sex without it, and cuddling and alike afterwards (that will lead her on).
If you do happen to fall into a relationship with her (which only can happen by choice haha) then make sure you have a life outside of your relationship. Make sure you keep seeing your buddies, and going out with them. Dont make her the whole reason for happiness. See yourself getting obessesive and pull back. Keep your fitness up and hit the gym, and keep your hobbies up. Do things seperately. (I am not saying dont see her, but dont make her your whole life, this will help you with the obsessiveness and when it eventually happens, the break up as well).
Good luck man, keep us posted!
06-12-2012, 05:30 PM #3
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- Jan 2006
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give her a good hard fucking and take it from there
it sounds like your recessive in the relationship - be more dominant in the relationship so you can lead it where you want it to go.
the relationship is 50/50 - you get to choose what happens as much as her
its your mindset and frame here more than anything else that needs fixing
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