Problem: Getting Quiet Girl to Talk

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  1. #1

    Problem: Getting Quiet Girl to Talk

    Ive been seeing a female for a while. everytime we meet shes quiet and is hard for her to open up. but she likes me. however, this discourages me. what do i do? any routines, stories, or tactics?



  2. #2

    You're not specific here, so i'm answering this broadly, and alot for my benefit to see what i can cull...i'm no instructor

    if she didn't talk much, how much Q and C do really have? at which point why does she like you if you haven't elicited reasons for liking her besides her looks...does she have nothing to offer so you're just the best she can get?

    Or maybe she has qualified herself and she's just super shy at which point you need to make a decision

    maybe she's hiding something which spills over into even not talking about things that have nothing to do with what she's hiding...if this is the case, it would be cool to get her to tell you, because that would unravel her comfort and her personality. tactics include pacing, framing as everyones human, no matter whta happened, we're all within biological normality...

  3. #3

    Use humor. Your best bet is to call her out for being so quiet but do it in a funny, playful way, then transition to a conversational topic. If she's still quiet, lay it on thicker. Make her qualify herself. If she's invested, she'll put in some effort. Don't try this forever, you may find that she's just one of those girls that doesn't have a good sense of humor, in which case I would move on to someone more interesting.

  4. #4

    Maybe you guys don't match, or your conversational skills arent good like you think they are. It should only really take an hour if you know what your doing

  5. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by megamanV View Post
    You're not specific here, so i'm answering this broadly, and alot for my benefit to see what i can cull...i'm no instructor

    if she didn't talk much, how much Q and C do really have? at which point why does she like you if you haven't elicited reasons for liking her besides her looks...does she have nothing to offer so you're just the best she can get?

    Or maybe she has qualified herself and she's just super shy at which point you need to make a decision

    maybe she's hiding something which spills over into even not talking about things that have nothing to do with what she's hiding...if this is the case, it would be cool to get her to tell you, because that would unravel her comfort and her personality. tactics include pacing, framing as everyones human, no matter whta happened, we're all within biological normality...
    shes just naturally quiet. she said that the only tome she opens up is when shes drunk. that is a bit true cuz the other nite i got her some drinks and she talked more than usual. but i was expecting her to talk alot. anyway, she wants me to take her to europe or south america. but if that happens, will she end up being quiet there?

    she does talk ablot about her job and how her boss tries to come on to her. ive talked to her about this and added my 2 cets. but i dont know what else to talk about with her. its like pulling teeth.. but then again, shes asian and her english aint that good, but it aint that bad either.

    just to let you know, she did say that she prefers to be around quiet people as opposed to guys who talk alot. what a weird bitch.

    Quote Originally Posted by BRunoG View Post
    Use humor. Your best bet is to call her out for being so quiet but do it in a funny, playful way, then transition to a conversational topic. If she's still quiet, lay it on thicker. Make her qualify herself. If she's invested, she'll put in some effort. Don't try this forever, you may find that she's just one of those girls that doesn't have a good sense of humor, in which case I would move on to someone more interesting.
    yeah i tried that. but she did say a couple of times that she prefers quiet people than talkative people. but how long can being quiet last? how can you live with yourself having no mouth and with someone else who likes to talk?

    Quote Originally Posted by PlayboyGenius View Post
    Maybe you guys don't match, or your conversational skills arent good like you think they are. It should only really take an hour if you know what your doing
    thats not it on both counts. no offense, but your observation of this situation is poor.

  6. #6

    If she says she prefers quiet people and you're on this forum complaining about how she's quiet, then why do you find her interesting? Like I said, move on to someone more interesting.

  7. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by BRunoG View Post
    If she says she prefers quiet people and you're on this forum complaining about how she's quiet, then why do you find her interesting? Like I said, move on to someone more interesting.
    cuz shes fine as hell.

  8. #8

    Ok well I don't know what to tell you then. Good luck I guess.

  9. This thread confuses me.

    Either accept she's quiet - and put her looks first (memo: keep the lights on at all times, because it appears to be the case that if you turn them off, you may as well have a mannequin beside you).
    Or, realise that silent films have run their course, and it's probably more fun to find someone that can match up to you


    Please don't call her a 'weird bitch' just because she likes to be quiet. Even in jest, even in passing, that's a dismissive, and vulgar tone to adopt toward women. If her only 'fault' is that she doesn't talk much, it could equally be levelled that you talk too much. She is not weird, nor a bitch. She is different. Embrace it, or move on - don't berate it.

    Finally, my first thought was probably very similar to playboygenius - wrong or not, if you only post 1 line about a situation, you'll get observations that may be inaccurate. Given your writing style on here, i would probably start looking at your conversation skills. Give us some honest accounts of the conversations you've tried - the stories you told etc. By your own admission you don't know what to talk to her about... read some threads on DHV story telling, transitions and most importantly: comfort building. It seems to me she's just shy and uncertian around people - your role is to make her more certain and secure (thinking of her as a 'weird bitch' probably isn't the best start......)

    And if all else fails, to quote a man above me.... 'good luck i guess'

  10. #10

    Make a move! I once dated a girl who was probably more quiet that this girl is. Sure, we'd have conversations but never any IOI's and she would never text first. I'd kiss her and she would accept it but never get into it. Then one day I just decided to make a move and it worked. Weird

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