What up dawgs?
The Secret of the Swagger...and other body language tips
I've been working on my whole body language for the past few months and working on my swagger. Thought I'd share some thoughts....
What is a swagger? Personally, I'd define it as that brush touch of confidence in the way that you move and especially in the way that you walk.
If you actively try to swagger you will probably look like an idiot...or George W Bush. Same thing I suppose.
I used to think that good posture and body language was all about standing bolt upright with your shoulders back - like you had a broom handle up your ass. Nothing could be further from the swagger. It's all about moving without tension in your muscles.
The reason a swagger is associated with confidence is because it is the manifestation of person that is totally relaxed, unstressed and is not self concious. The muscles are relaxed and move freely...that's what causes the swagger.
Try this out. Stand up, clench your fists-hard and walk at the same time...see how stiff your movements are? Now relax your arms and shoulders totally and let them hang loosely as if they were made out of rubber. Now try walking again...see the difference? It is these loose movements that create a swagger.
Watch this clip of Marlon Brandon in The Wild One (classic pua viewing) to see what I mean...every muscle in his body looks completely relaxed and free.
I have made a point of never putting my hands in my pockets any more because it is impossible for your shoulders and arms to look totally relaxed. Like many body language changes it was difficult to break the habit but now it's automatic.
I also try and place my foot down firmly with every step I take and feel the ground beneath me. It makes me appear more purposeful, definite and unapologetic for my presence.
Two other body langauage tips;
Always keep you're head up. I read this tip from another post on this forum and it's been gold. Look at yourself in the mirror with your head straight...now keep looking yourself in the eyes but dip your head downwards. See how much weaker and apologetic you look? Again it will take practice to catch yourself in those situations where you automatically look down before you have realised it. Keep working on it and it will come
Any time I find myself in a physically awkward situation (e.g. if you drop your things on the floor and need to pick them up) I just slow it right down and take my sweet ass time. As an example, a few days ago I was standing, talking to a girl in the street, trying to find my phone somewhere in rucksack. In the past I would have got awakward and flustered about it. Instead I made an active decision to slow it the fuck down and make her wait. I felt less self concious and it actually made me more efficient in finding the damn phone! You think Brad Pitt would worry about making someone wait a minute?