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Discuss What to think of this behavior at the General Discussion within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; What to think of this behavior Talking to a girl for a few weeks now ...
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    What to think of this behavior

    Talking to a girl for a few weeks now and she has been consistently flaky. I'm keeping my walls up and am not letting oneitis creep in (have 2 other dates this weekend too). But, I just wanted to vent about her actions. We've gone out on a 2 dates and afterwards she will text saying that she had a great time and that she really enjoys spending time with me. However, after that, it is all on me. She will not text me, call, or anything unless I am the one to initiate contact. She has gone through periods of time where she doesn't pick up or call me back. Today, she left for vacation, so last night I call her and we speak for 10 minutes. Then she said she had to run but would call me back - still no call back.

    I do happen to notice that while we are out she doesn't pick up her phone to call or text the whole time, so maybe she's just not on the phone constantly like other girls.
    Anyway, anyone have positive experience with a similar situation? Should I keep being the one to contact her, call her out on her shit, or just not give a damn and see where it goes?



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    Don't "call her out" on anything. Sure - she's flaky. But that doesn't mean she's not interested necessarily.

    If you're going on two other dates with other women, then you really shouldn't have much to worry about. Exactly what do you mean she won't contact you after the date? How long are we talking? I've had sex with women that I wouldn't contact after simply because I'm not interested anymore. They'd appear out of the blue about a month or two later wanting to hang out or "catch up" (sex) and I'd just brush it off. Honestly, if you're 31-years-old, it just seems like this woman's playing mind games with you. If she hasn't advanced to the part of her life that requires her to be more mature, she's not worth it. Simply remove yourself from the situation and stop talking to her on all accounts. You're over-analyzing a situation that doesn't even seem remotely serious.

    Another key point to take into consideration - her not being interested and not reaching out is the cause of your reaching out to her. Cause and effect. What would happen if you remained silent, hooked up with other women and didn't give her an inch of attention? Most likely she'd either:

    A) Chase you (make contact) and attempt to set up another "date' or get together.

    or

    B) She'll be off on her way and she never had interest in you in the first place. In which case, you're not missing out because you're the prize anyway. No loss there.

    Just stop talking to her, let her go on her vacation and remain confident, man. The guy DOES NOT need to pursue the woman after every date/get together. In fact, it's the other way around (unless you send a quick, "I had a great time tonight!" text at the end of the night or the next day). Stop over-playing the idea that you should be chasing her and just let what's supposed to happen, happen.
    "The mind only acts as an enemy for those who do not control it."

    You only lose what you cling to. -Buddha

    Here's how I see it:

    Men act, women react. Don't take the woman's role.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BetterThan View Post
    If you're going on two other dates with other women, then you really shouldn't have much to worry about.
    Two other dates are to avoid focusing on this one. 1 of the 2 is going to be a lay-up bang.

    Quote Originally Posted by BetterThan View Post
    Exactly what do you mean she won't contact you after the date? How long are we talking?
    She hasn't returned a call after any date. I have always been the one to reach out to her 2-3 days after (this has happened 3 times). After the date I text to say "nice seeing you" and each time she has responded with things like "I had a great time with you tonight and I really enjoy the time we have been spending together"

    Quote Originally Posted by BetterThan View Post
    Honestly, if you're 31-years-old, it just seems like this woman's playing mind games with you. If she hasn't advanced to the part of her life that requires her to be more mature, she's not worth it. Simply remove yourself from the situation and stop talking to her on all accounts. You're over-analyzing a situation that doesn't even seem remotely serious.
    She is pretty mature. She is an only child though and I'm wondering if that may play into it at all.

    Quote Originally Posted by BetterThan View Post
    Another key point to take into consideration - her not being interested and not reaching out is the cause of your reaching out to her. Cause and effect. What would happen if you remained silent, hooked up with other women and didn't give her an inch of attention? Most likely she'd either:

    A) Chase you (make contact) and attempt to set up another "date' or get together.

    or

    B) She'll be off on her way and she never had interest in you in the first place. In which case, you're not missing out because you're the prize anyway. No loss there.

    Just stop talking to her, let her go on her vacation and remain confident, man.
    I agree and this is the direction I am going to take. Cut off contact from her and see if she reaches out to me. I went wrong with my post date behavior being LV. After a Friday date, I asked if she wanted to meet Saturday, then said happy Easter on Sun. then reached out to say hi on Tues. Too much neediness displayed by trying to contact her, I know. Things were going well and my responses were positive so I was continuing the flow. But I should have pulled back. Thanks for feedback.

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    I am no expert, but here is my take.

    A guy should NEVER re-initiate contact, a girl should. Let that be your motto. Normally a girl won't - you need to give her an opening BEFORE the opportunity - ie during one of the two dates.

    During the dates, make her work. Ask her to press the elevator button. Logistically create circumstances where she opens the door - you get it. Also, make her work AFTER the date so she calls you. Let us say she is studying the efeects of mating habits of anopheles mosquitoes in Timbuctoo on the weather in Outer Mongolia. Ask her for names of good hotels in Mongolia. If she works in a stock broking firm - ask her to find out a good investment book for you. Now she has an excuse to call you. Besides, she is working for you and investing in you when you are away.

    Just my 2 cents.

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