The Ex Dilemma
Discuss The Ex Dilemma at the General Discussion within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; The Ex Dilemma Yep, it's happening already. She's getting with another guy that lives in ...
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- 04-09-2012, 05:37 AM #1
Yep, it's happening already. She's getting with another guy that lives in the same dorm as me, same floor, same hall... about 5 doors down from my room.
The Ex Dilemma
We dated for nearly 3 months exclusively and had great times and everyone she ever introduced me too loved me. It's pathetic to think that she's already getting with another guy about 4 weeks post break-up and I've been in NC since day one. I hate this fucking shit. My gut is killing me all the damn time, everytime I see her I can't get the thoughts out of my head, and I'm literally facing my demons ALL THE TIME. She's always in the dorm building, so I run into her A LOT.
I never cried to her, never begged, pleaded, or asked for her back. I remained strong and held my frame. She up and left, never to return. It's all over, man. Now I'm faced with finals in 3 weeks, need to get my classes scheduled, need to work through my speeches due in a week and have to keep myself busy enough to get her out of my head - even though she's right here, right in fucking front of me. Every god damn day.
Why is it preached that men fuck women over more than women fuck men over? Because I've never heard of a story where a guy really, really fucked over a woman and had broken her heart to pieces. It seems that every apple I pick is bad and it's pathetic.
Restarting from scratch while she's with another guy in my dorm, in my face, 24/7.
Life is just not on my side right now. Just needed to vent. God damn.
- 04-09-2012, 05:52 AM #2
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That really, really sucks man. I mean, I was in a LDR for literally about 3 months as well, and I'm struggling to keep things straight now that we've broken up, with finals coming up and papers due. I can't even imagine how hard it must be to deal with her there, with another guy, in your face.
Just try to have an abundance mentality. That's what I'm doing, and sometimes I feel like I've got everything under control and at peace with myself and others. Here's to hoping that those times get more and more and the times when I miss her get less and less.
- 04-09-2012, 05:56 AM #3
It's just so damn hard to deal with this right now. I just don't understand why she would put me through something so ridiculous right now. I guess it's for the best, but she literally seems emotionless right now and it's killing me from the inside out. I hate this so much and there's not much I can do about it. Other than lifting and tanning, I just don't know how to physically improve myself. Maybe I'll change up my style or something like that. I just can't concentrate on much right now, it's so fucking hard.
I've been fucked over before, but why do I need to be fucked over a second time? Fuck this.
- 04-09-2012, 10:28 AM #4
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You'll get over it. It's a rather bitchy move hooking up with someone in your wing and always staying there but tbh, he's probably a rebound. Stay focused, ignore her as much as possible, and occupy yourself with studying for finals.
getting a hair cut (I got a mohawk for the hell of it), getting a ward rope change or simply meeting new people might be all it takes to get your mind off her.
Got mine in 2 weeks and it's tough enough studying and focusing without added drama and bullshit.
- 04-09-2012, 11:03 AM #5
That really sucks
Best thing you can do is remove yourself from the situation. Avoid the dorm as much as possible and find a good place on campus to study: library, coffee house, study lounge, etc. depending on your preferred environment. Hopefully somewhere you won't see her at all so she won't be on your mind. To me, throwing myself into work generally helped me get over breakups. Also, if you're studying at a coffee house, it's a good place to meet people during your study breaks.
- 04-09-2012, 01:54 PM #6
From my personal experience and i've noticed this with other bro's and broads; the lamer the girl, the quicker she bounces back into another relationship.
Logically, you should see that she's no prize if she's already with another guy so why you sweatin' it? Let this example just cement the fact that you were better than her (albeit a little needy with her, but live and learn right?)
Emotionally I know that what other people say only gives you a few moments of peace before the bad feelings take back over, this is your time to figure out if you're a person that lets adversity beat them, or if you are the type of person that grits his teeth and keeps moving forward no matter how hard it hits.
Break-ups are good in the way that they make you re-evaluate yourself and improve yourself without taking anything substantial away from you.
Cherish this feeling cause you'll be using it as inspiration later on in life.
- 04-09-2012, 02:09 PM #7
This sucks, and I would not want to be in your position. As Rogue said, avoid the dorm. Keep in mind that he also has finals so he probably won't have much time for her... besides, most of their dates will be elsewhere. Just a few weeks bud, stay strong.
- 04-09-2012, 02:25 PM #8
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it sucks big time. But remember who you are, you are betterthan. I have seen such great advice from you in these forums and I know you can get over this shitty situation.
- 04-09-2012, 03:47 PM #9
- 04-10-2012, 12:29 PM #10
Damn, didn't expect so many responses from this forum. Thanks for all the advice, guys. I really appreciate it.
You're all right in terms of avoiding her/getting myself back by diving into school work/working on myself. Lately I've been doing just that.
I've been tanning, started lifting again, started hanging out with old friends, going out on the weekends, meeting new people, etc. and it's really getting better. When I originally wrote this post, it'd been a couple hours after I figured out she was with someone else. I had to expect something like this to happen anyway - I didn't give her any idea that I wanted to get back together with her and told her I needed time to get myself back (which I do). This may or may not have affected how she felt towards the situation (distanced, abandoned, unwanted) but either way, it doesn't matter. Focusing on the past is like trying to get blood from a turnip, it simply won't work if you try to change it. I know what it takes to get over an ex and move forward with my life, considering I've already been placed in worse scenarios before, but it's just annoying having to put up with her everyday in the dorms.
Either way, any guy in this dorm is out of my league. I'm better-looking, better game, and smarter/quicker with women than any of them are. I'm not cocky, I'm simply confident in my actions and it doesn't bother me enough that she's getting with another guy to actually reach out to her. I'd never reach out to a woman (especially an ex) after such disrespect has been given to me. Had she ever come back to me (even just friendship) I'd decline because there's just no trust there anymore. I'm the type of person that needs trust in both friendships and relationships in general. If she's gonna break that trust, I'm gonna remove her from my life accordingly and she can stay on that "blocked" list until further notice.
Wait until I get back into my confident, good mood that really gets women all over me. Actually, I have this one girl tweeting to me that I met at a party last week and I'm probably gonna F-close her because she's close friends with a mutual friend of mine. Once I start falling back into my groove, things are gonna change. I don't need to the environment to change, hell, it could get worse for all I care, so long as my mindset and perspective changes towards the situation, I'll be good. Nothing says "fuck you" like success that's beyond anyone else's grasp but my own. I'll be big, tan, knowledgeable, and approachable. There's not much that can stand in my way. Actually - there's NOTHING that can stand in my way in regards to getting myself back. I have way too many friends at this university to be lonely. I'll bounce back sooner or later. Probably sooner.
Thanks again for taking the time to respond to this thread. I know what I need to do and my vision isn't blinded. I'm simply in a small rut.
Just like Drake once said:
"Once I stop givin' a fuck, good luck gettin' that back." She doesn't know what's about to erupt inside of me.
Massive success is calling my name... and I'm responding.
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